You know, just when you thought Michael Lohan couldn’t sink any further (and how much further could you sink after kicking a girlfriend in a crotch, and then another girlfriend in the face?), he goes and outdoes himself: it’s been confirmed that Michael sold naked, sleeping photos of his (I’m assuming “ex”) fiancee, Kate Major, in an attempt to retaliate after she went public with abuse claims.

The photos were said to be taken this past April, and were done without knowledge — or approval — of Kate, who is now considering criminal charges against Lohan.

As for Michael? He definitely thinks that his reprehensible actions are justifiable:

“She [Kate] has no money, no job and she’s been living off of me for the last 8 months… and her dad just cut her off. If she doesn’t stop the nonsense, more and more will come out. I am tired of being used and people who need to make up stories to make money off others. I have more important issues to deal with than Kate Major.”

What a stellar, stellar man. I hear there’s a cell open next to his daughter; maybe the two could bunk up and get some quality time in. I mean, if this isn’t some kind of sexual violation that’s deserving of jail time, I don’t know what is.

Way to go, fuckhead.

This is my impression of me looking at these photos, “Oh, look! Paris Hilton is still partying in the South of France! Oh, look! She’s wearing a cute hat! Oh, lo–OH MY GOD. Is she giving a Nazi salute?” That was me, like, eleven seconds ago.

According to Paris, she’s just dancing and scratching her face, but you’d think after the accusations of racism, drug use and like, everything else this woman has been accused of in her life, she’d be a little more careful while getting down and satisfying her itchy spots.

What do you think of these photos? Is it the paparazzi trying to turn nothing into something or is Paris just totally limitless in her bad behavior?

Saying that one of the Jersey Shore cast members has allowed their fame to go to their head and is now considered unmanageable by fellow castmates sounds like a joke, but I assure you that it’s not. Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has apparently turned into such a divo that Snookie and Co. want him off the show for good.

From Pop Crunch:
“The others are all aggravated by him,” a spy squealed to The New York Post’s PageSix Column this morning. “They can’t bear his ego and that he’s earning so much from deals outside the show. They feared the new season would end up being ‘The Situation Show,’ so they are relieved they’ve all signed again. Expect fireworks, because he thinks he’s invincible. Some of the cast are secretly hoping they can force him to walk out like Angelina Pivarnick did on the first season.”

Yuck. That’s the worst thing about these shows. For every Bethenny is Getting Married? there’s twenty reality stars with a failed pilot. When someone like The Situation comes up on an ensemble cast, they normally don’t too well away from the ensemble cast. At least not for much more than a gag show. I guess his options here are one season of a Flavor of Love-style dating show or to come back down to earth and realize that Sitch without J-WOWW is like Bert without Ernie.

I was thinking about something as I watched this video: Robyn has been making music since I was in middle school. And not just music, like… she makes really solid, good pop music. Example 1: ‘Show Me Love’. Example 2: ‘Handle Me’. Example 3: ‘Dancing on My Own’. OK? Suck it. She’s really good. So why isn’t she more popular? And don’t tell me it’s because she’s not as hot as Britney in her prime or something because neither Gaga or Clarkson has ever really been all that and a bag of chips.

Check out Robyn’s new video for ‘Hang With Me’ and if you like it, tell your friends. This chick deserves to be more popular, guys. Let’s make it happen.

Jessica Simpson lost her dog Daisy in a pretty tragic accident last summer and this summer she’s apparently healed enough to crack jokes about it on Entourage. Or maybe they wrote her the part and she needed the work so badly that her morals flew out the window as quickly as her anal virginity.

In the clip above, Ari shows up to former client Jessica’s house to try and win her back with a new pup. Her response is about what you’d expect from a client fed up with her shitty agent, and also what you’d expect from someone with the vocabulary of a five year old. Either way, this moment is funny enough to make me want to tune in on August 1st to see the whole episode.

I was so excited about this girl being in the cell next to Lindsay’s and the BFF adventures they would inevitably have, the relationship that would grow out of their common bond of being questionably entitled fashionistas in ugly jumpsuits.  But I guess that just wasn’t meant to be.

Here’s what Alexis said when asked if Lindsay was crying:

“I could start hearing like what was going on in there, I tried to just, really just keep to myself and the last thing I really want to hear, you know, when you’re trying to be so strong and just get through the day.”

First of all, use your words, Alexis Neiers.  If you can’t communicate better than that, you’re going to have a tough time parlaying your thievery into more undeserved fame. Secondly, way to make a stupid choice.  When ol’ Fire Crotch herself is crying within hearing distance of you and when you are so clearly a fame whore, you grab onto that opportunity with all that you’ve got.  I’m disappointed, Alexis, I really am.