If there is one place that Snooki needs to be on point it’s the beach, so it’s a good thing that homegirl has her bathing suit game locked down. Snookster was seen out at the beach in a one-piece suit recently that flattered her figure and made her look pretty sexy. Snooks told People Magazine, “I would rather wear a sexy one-piece whether I am heavy or down to 90 pounds. I wore one-piece suits when I was really skinny to hide my nakedness in a sexy way. I think they are more provocative because it makes guys want to see more of me.”

[all images via TheSuperficial]

Knowing that her exit from jail will be just as well documented as her entrance, Lindsay Lohan is calling in her glam squad for a pre-release beauty sesh. The actress has had her people reserve her fave hair and make up artists to be on-call 24 hours between Thursday and through the weekend. Trying to compete with Paris’ memorable discharge, Lindz?

Unfortunately, Lynwood County Jail doesn’t have the same amenities as a Beverly Hills salon. From OK:

“There is a small, dirty public bathroom in the reception area that she will be allowed to use briefly before she leaves,” an insider told PopEater. “She will not be allowed to plug in a hairdryer and get a blow out and she can forget about using a flattening iron. There will be no full-length mirror and only if the corrections officers decide to be nice will they close the area to the public. Remember, everyone who works at that jail hates the press. They don’t want to be bothered with all this nonsense and want to rid themselves of Lindsay as quickly as possible.”

A natural beauty like Lindsay is probably fit to hit the streets without any touch ups, so even if all she has access to is a blowdryer, I’m sure she’ll be more than fine.

Christ, I love this bitch. Awesome things about these photos:

1. It took less than a day of Tara being on vacation (and around paparazzi again) to show the cameras her ass.
2. She clearly has no memory of putting on a thong that morning/wearing a shirt as a dress.
3. She’s still using a T-Mobile SideKick that she most likely got for free at a gifting suite five years ago when that phone was more relevant than she’s ever been.

Pray for a flashed titty, guys. I know she has it in her.

I mean, me being worried about Janice Dickinson is kind of a constant state – it’s pretty clear the woman has some demons – but there’s a specific reason this time.

Janice did an interview with Closer (heads up, you’re going to see a NSFW picture of Janice Dickinson if you click that link), and she talked about how she stays in shape:

“I love my body, but it’s a compulsive obsession.  I have to make sure I exercise and that the ingredients that go into my body are completely organic.  I relax, meditate and do 80 minutes of yoga every day. I hike and make sure everything I eat is organic. I eat steamed fish, chicken and turkey, plus salads, carrot juice and supplements.”

After I read that, I was all “yeah, plus that bi-annual tummy tuck,” but she went on to talk about plastic surgery:

“There’s no such thing as too much. Whatever it takes to make an individual feel better, I’m all for it. Then in my 40s I signed up for Botox and now I have it every six months. My advisers say I should get rid of the neck. You can have an incision in the back of the neck that will tighten it up. Am I considering it? Always. I’m going to be the best looking corpse on the planet!”

While the toxin that causes botulism may technically be considered organic, I don’t know if those two ideas go together so well.  You’d think that a woman who claims to work so hard to be in top physical health wouldn’t be so quick to have so many unnecessary surgeries, but maybe that’s just me.

See, I told you Justin Bieber doesn’t give a fuck.

Shortly before his concert in Arizona, The Biebz was filmed riding around a parking lot on a Segway with no security in sight.  Luckily for him, he had the dude filming this video, whose half-hearted yell of “don’t grab him” clearly saved the day.

I first saw this video last night, and it still just enchants me. Why is Justin Bieber riding a Segway around a parking lot? Why do so many young girls think an appropriate reaction to anyone is to screech continuously while chasing them down? Why is a guy who has audibly gone through puberty at a Justin Bieber concert?  I keep hoping that if I watch it one more time, I’ll understand, but mostly I just end up giggling and rewatching from the 25 second mark where that cocky son of a bitch just breezes by all those ladies.

This is almost as funny as that time that Justin Bieber walked into a door.

Sophia Bush, whom I’ve never really cared to investigate, nor have I ever watched One Tree Hill so it made it hard to really care about who she was, has made some comments recently regarding a piece of apparel at Urban Outfitters (a store I normally love) and after hearing her take on their product, I’m definitely Team Sophia. The article of clothing in question, a shirt that cries “Eat Less,” is for sale at Urban Outfitters, and it obviously rubbed Bush (and many consumers) the wrong way. She took to her personal blog to address the situation and pulled no punches:

Ladies! This is OUTRAGEOUS. I hope none of you will stand for being told such a thing, in such a way. Being healthy, eating right, and staying active is one thing. Being told to starve yourselves by a fashion company? Not cool.

UO,

I have been a supporter of your store for many years, but now I’m through.

I am fortunate enough to star on a wonderful TV show called One Tree Hill. I play a fashion designer named Brooke Davis, who started a campaign on the show called “Zero Is Not A Size” and the outpouring of love and gratitude that came my way from girls and women ALL OVER THE WORLD who have body image issues brought me to tears.

To promote starvation? To promote anorexia, which leads to heart disease, bone density loss, and a slew of other health problems, not least of all psychological issues that NEVER go away? Shame on you. I will no longer be shopping …

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