Betty White is totally hot right now.  Everybody knows that, and the cast of Twilight is no exception.  When E! asked them about the possibility of Betty’s popularity crossing over into the vampire flicks, everyone was pretty into that idea.

Robert Pattinson suggested that Betty White play Renesmee, Edward and Bella’s daughter, in Breaking Dawn.  Kellan Lutz had a similar thought:

“Oh my gosh, I love Betty. I would love for them to do what they did in Benjamin Button with her and she can be Renesmee. I would change some scenes up so we could have Jacob and Emmet going for her. I want to work with her. That would be so much fun.”

Even Stephenie Meyer said “surely she can fit in somewhere.”

All right, so if this doesn’t happen, I’m not going to be able to trust anyone ever again.  I hope you understand how much lies and deceit hurt, Twilight.  Don’t fuck this up.

The always beautiful Lindsay Lohan is going to court, but not for cocaine or anything like that (well, not directly, at least).  She’s being sued for spending $17,000 at a Hollywood clothing boutique in February and failing to pay the entire bill.  And by “failing to pay the entire bill,” I mean she only paid about $180 out of the total.  Classy move, Lindsay.

So what did she spend those thousands of dollars on?  Various jewelry – diamonds, cameos, whatever – and a few pairs of leggings. She also purchased a snakeskin accessory and ostrich stiletto heels.  Wait, what?  I admit that I may be behind on fashion trends involving majestic giant birds, but why are people making shoes out of ostriches?  And why is Lindsay spending so much money that she doesn’t have to buy said shoes? 

Per usual, I just don’t get Lindsay Lohan.

Oh, John Mayer. Are you ever going to realize that you’re just. not. funny? [Celebslam]

Jason Bateman’s still talking about his iPhone debacle, because it’s his only claim to fame as of late. [popbytes]

OMFG, I just pissed myself: Stephen King’s It and Pet Sematary are gonna be remade. [Dies] [Pajiba]

M. Night Shyamalan should stick to his creepy movies, ’cause I just fucking knew Airbender was going to suck big alien balls. [Celebitchy]

Khloe Kardashian’s married to the Candyman. Remember that creepy fucker? [Amy Grindhouse]

What’s up with the fascination of Justin Bieber … farting? [CityRag]

Ha! This is the chick that’s bringing bang allegations against Al “Save the Planet” Gore? [Pop on the Pop]

Lots of rape and assault in this week’s True Blood. Is it getting kind of old for you, too? [Zelda Lily]

LOL — Liza Minelli has a fashion line. Who’s next, Lady Gaga? [OMGBlog]

The most expensive celebrity divorce ever: Elin Nordegren v. Tiger Woods. You go, girl. [Celebrity Smack Blog]

Megan Fox wants to “bring back” the corset. Excuse me while I go snort myself into oblivion. [Betty Confidential]

Remember I posted Chris Brown’s “heart-warming performance” earlier in the week, where he performed a Michael Jackson tribute at the BET awards? Yes, this very video. Well, some of you readers thought that he was crying big old crocodile tears in order to appear sympathetic to the viewers — and his former fans — and you know what? Looks like you bitches were right.

An exclusive source spoke to Us Magazine and told a reporter that the singer with the most violent tendencies put eye drops in his eyes before the big performance, and that’s what you were actually seeing:

“He rubbed it [eye drops] in and he started crying.”

That’s just lovely. Just when we thought that Brown might have had a soul (ha! And … ha! again!), he goes and plays the facade of someone who feels for others — you know, beyond “feeling” them with closed fists and small, sharp teeth.

Go rot somewhere, you piece of trash.

Remember this guy? Jeffrey Jones?  The dad in Beetlejuice and the principal in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off? Turns out he’s a gross child pornography peddler. I didn’t know that. And yup — cue the bored commenters who are going to say, “jeez sarah your [sic] a celebrity bloger [sic] and you dont [sic] know that this guys [sic] a prevert [sic]? you shuld [sic] just quit already. i hate u.” Go for it. Have at it. And … begin.

Whatever. Anyway, yeah, Jones had a little accident a few years back where he paid an underage minor to take nude photos of himself for his, uh, own personal pleasure. He got in trouble, and it placed him right at the top of his state’s sex offender registry.  Seemed to be the end of the story.

But not quite.  Evidently, he moved last year and failed to update his pee-pee toucher status with his new state of residence, and the local court system found out about it. Jones now faces a felony charge and could end up paying $20k in fines, not to mention a possible jail sentence of up to three years, if convicted.

Way to go, Jones.  I always thought you were a creepy little thing, but now my suspicions have been confirmed — even if it is seven years after the fact.

“Back when I was modeling, the first time I went to Italy I was having cappuccinos every day, and I gained 15 pounds. And I felt gorgeous! I would take my clothes off in front of the mirror and be like, ‘Oh, I look like a woman.’ And I felt beautiful, and I never tried to lose it, ’cause I loved it.”

Mad Men‘s Christina Hendricks on how her body makes her feel like a woman. Ladies and gentlemen, there is no disputing the fact that Christina Hendricks is, by far, one of the most beautiful women on the planet with one of the most beautiful bodies to match. But this dress? And the wacked-out Courtney Love hair? That picture, up there? Has to fucking go. It looks like a flock of wayward bluejays decided to have a crazed, coked-out orgy on her head, and then threw up all over her shoulder, ’cause they were newbies at the whole blowing lines thing and couldn’t handle their shit.