Joesph Gordon-Levitt kinda came back on my babe radar last year after (500) Days of Summer came out. I hated that movie, but it reminded me that JGL is for sure cute and has been at least since 10 Things I Hate About You. Maybe on 3rd Rock, too, but that feels like so long ago. Anyway, I’m just posting the photos of him from this month’s Details for those purposes. Because he looks hot. There’s some artistic value to them, but I’m not even going to play like I think anyone here cares about that.

Heidi Montag’s mom has been talking to People about the destroyed relationship between her and her daughter and honestly, I can’t blame her. If something came out of your vagina and then twenty-three years later it had a new face, I think you’d be experiencing feelings of loss, too.

According to Heidi’s mom, Darlene, Heidi has refused to speak to her since she and the rest of the family gave her such a hard time regarding her major plastic surgery. Darlene even flew to Los Angeles to try and reconcile with her daughter, but Heidi actually called the police on her. The girl called the police on her own mom!

The loss of her daughter has been as hard as you would imagine it to be.  Darlene told People, “I haven’t slept in months. I had to go get a prescription for sleeping pills just to be able to go to sleep at night to the point that I didn’t even know how I would even make it another day. I’ve been mourning the loss of a child and, yeah, it hurts. It hurts more than I thought it could hurt.”

It’s hard to feel bad for these MTV famewhores, but at the same time, it’s easy to imagine Heidi’s mother’s pain. Can you imagine if you sent your 18 year old daughter to college just outside of San Francisco, and within six months she dropped out, was living with a former Laguna Beach castmember, dating Brody Jenner’s best friend who she would wind up marrying just a year and a half later and then she comes home with a new face? And boobs for days!? I don’t know what kind of reaction Heidi expected from her mother, but I think a mix of shock and horror is the absolute least she could have planned for.

I hope now that Heidi and Spencer are divorcing that Heidi will reconcile with her family. With no friends, no man and no original part of her body still in tact, what does this girl have left?

Self-described “fucking strong elephant of a woman” Katy Perry has shared the man-taming secret she used to get her beau, Russell Brand. Katy told UK’s Esquire magazine that she stole the reformed sexaholic’s heart by refusing to sleep with him on the first day they met. The two were on the set of Russell movie “Get Him To The Greek” and when the comedian propositioned the singer, she threw a bottle at his head. The bottle, Katy says, “hit him smack dab on the head.” She added, “Can you imagine the horrible feeling he had, when he was used to getting everything he wanted? I was like, ‘You’ve met your match.’ ”

Katy makes sounding holding out like it’s some sort of bad-ass move that doesn’t just continue to feed a clearly psychologically damaged man’s virgin/whore complex, but hey! There’s something to be said for not stripping down and boning on day one. I’m not sure if it’s a smart way to find a husband (I mean, do you really want to have to wave your pussy above your husband’s head like you would a steak with a pitbull? I think not), but like… yeah. In general I think it’s a good rule not to sleep with hairy British comedians the first time you chill.

I see that look on your face, Gwen Stefani. That mix of repulsion for having to buy Spiderman and Elmo balloons and the self satisfaction that you have for looking so great while you do it. But you are wrong, Gwen Stefani. You don’t look great, you just look stupid. Why do those pants even exist? It just looks like a skort got confused, and skorts were confused to begin with.

It halfway looks like Spiderman is trying to punch his way off the balloon and onto your face. And I want nothing more than for him to succeed. If Spiderman knows that what you’re wearing is dumb, then you need to take a look at what you’re doing with your life, or, at the very least, your pants.

DAYUM!!!!!

At least she got some better extensions out of the whole deal.

Start around the 6:00 mark. That’s when it gets REALLY good.

Thanks to our friends at FuckedInParkSlope.com for the link.

Good news:  you can get Prince’s new album for free this Saturday when you buy a copy of The Mirror!

Bad news:  that’s pretty much the only way you can get it.

Prince doesn’t go in for things like iTunes, and he refuses to let videos that feature his music exist on Youtube.  You might be thinking “Prince, why are you letting your characteristic eccentricity stop you from selling tons more albums on the internet?”  It’s cool if you are, because Prince went ahead and answered that question for you:

“The internet’s completely over. I don’t see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won’t pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can’t get it. The internet’s like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you.”

Thanks for letting us know, Prince!  Sorry, you guys, I’m gonna have to end this article, my head’s just swimming with all these numbers!  I better force them out by listening to some creepy song about Salma Hayek!