Lindsay Lohan’s mother Dina just did an interview with Entertainment Tonight about her daughter’s jail sentence and the general treatment she got during her time in court. Not one to throw curve balls, Dina said exactly what we expected her to: It’s not Lindsay’s fault, she’s terrified of jail, and the courts are going extra hard on her because she’s famous.

There’s video On Lindsay being scared to go to jail: "Lindsay’s scared to death. You know, she’s strong, but until someone faces something as devastating as that…we’re going to have to see. God willing, it won’t happen…It’s very difficult, we’re not sleeping well, we’re not functioning. We cry a lot and we hug a lot. She’s petrified, we all are. We’re angry. We’re disappointed in the system." On getting a new lawyer and appealing the judge’s decision: "She’s a fighter, and until the final result — we’re not giving up. I think it’s time we get another attorney just to see it from another light and do damage control." On Judge Marsha Revel: "This is not an OJ Simpson trial, which they made it out to be. If she [Judge Revel] wants a trial, then make it a fair trial. I feel like Shawn [Chapman Holley], Lindsay’s [former] attorney should have stood up and said, ‘Listen, I didn’t know you were going to have witnesses.’ We would have had ten witnesses. We didn’t get a shot. We didn’t get a shot at fairness." On Lindsay’s behavior in 2007: "She did a really stupid thing. Thank God she didn’t hurt anyone….I know my daughter is clean and sober today. I know that for a fact. I’m not a doctor…and I’m not an attorney. I’m a mother. And I’m sitting here, as a mother, just worried about my child., but here’s some of the best quotes:

On Lindsay being scared to go to jail:

“Lindsay’s scared to death. You know, she’s strong, but until someone faces something as devastating as that…we’re going to have to see. God willing, it won’t happen…It’s very difficult, we’re not sleeping well, we’re not functioning. We cry a lot and we hug a lot. She’s petrified, we all are. We’re angry. We’re disappointed in the system.”

On getting a new lawyer and appealing the judge’s decision:

“She’s a fighter, and until the final result — we’re not giving up. I think it’s time we get another attorney just to see it from another light and do damage control.”

On Judge Marsha Revel:

“This is not an OJ Simpson trial, which they made it out to be. If she [Judge Revel] wants a trial, then make it a fair trial. I feel like Shawn [Chapman Holley], Lindsay’s [former] attorney should have stood up and said, ‘Listen, I didn’t know you were going to have witnesses.’ We would have had ten witnesses. We didn’t get a shot. We didn’t get a shot at fairness.”

On Lindsay’s behavior in 2007:

“She did a really stupid thing. Thank God she didn’t hurt anyone….I know my daughter is clean and sober today. I know that for a fact. I’m not a doctor…and I’m not an attorney. I’m a mother. And I’m sitting here, as a mother, just worried about my child.”

Wow. It’s just so completely shocking to me that a mother who makes endless excuses for her child’s bad behavior is now watching her go off to jail!

Dina Lohan is her daughter’s worst enemy. I think that most parents, regardless of the immediate sadness they may feel watching their child be locked up, would be thrilled that the court is insisting their child be responsible for their actions and get clean and sober. And if the well-being of her child isn’t enough to make Dina realize that jail time is far from the worst thing that could happen to her, then maybe she could consider the fact that once Lindsay’s dead, so is Dina’s cash flow. C’mon, Dina. Let Lindsay hang in there long enough for you to get a few more chemical peels and a new fur or something.

All right, it came out last week, but if you’ve already seen it, just hush up and watch it again because it’s beautiful.

This song is the first glimpse of Brandon Flowers’ solo efforts (he’s also the lead singer of The Killers, just in case you don’t listen to music that is always catchy and sometimes good), and I think he’s doing pretty well all by himself.  I mean, hey, he got Charlize Theron to be in his music video, and I don’t think that’s anything to shake a stick at.

Also, I love this video.  Charlize Theron being a strong, dedicated heroine who saves poor, hapless Brandon Flowers from all of his unfortunate run-ins with ninjas – what’s not to love?  I also think the ending is lovely, but then again I’ve always been a sucker for tales of damsels in distress with happy endings, and Brandon Flowers makes for a really attractive damsel.  Who knew?

TMZ reports that Bridget Hardy, the mother of Jaleel White’s child, has filed a report with the LAPD, claiming that White abused her.  The incident, which occurred about two weeks ago, happened while the whole little family was out for a drive. Jaleel “punched her in one of her breast implants,” and when they got home he hit her, then pushed her against a toilet.

Jaleel’s people had this to say about the matter:

“There was absolutely no battery … no abuse … and the incident never happened. This is just a ploy in an ongoing custody battle over their young daughter to tarnish his name.”

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the punching of the breast implant part of the story.  Is that an actual thing, do people do that?  I’m not trying to make light of domestic violence, alleged though it may be, I am just really confused about the possibility of the existence of breast implant punchers.

At least not anytime soon, and not before he beds as many supermodels as he possibly can, ’cause that’s clearly what his friends think he’s all about these days.

Pattinson recently quipped last month that he’d “like to go on a date.” Because clearly, whatever he’s doing (or not doing) with co-star Kristen Stewart isn’t considered a “date.” Pattinson claims, too, that he doesn’t think that settling down equates marriage, which, I can agree with, but he then hurries ahead to kind of say that he wants to sleep with every woman person he possibly can:

“I don’t think settling down should be the same thing as getting married … I mean, I guess settling down just means not sleeping with everybody. I don’t like the idea of having to settle, though.”

And now his former school chums are adding fuel to the fire. A “friend” of the star claims that Pattinson is only 24, and has formerly dated models prior to doing whatever-the-fuck-he’s-not-doing with Kristen Stewart:

“Rob’s only 24,” a former school friend told Britain’s Look magazine. “He’s a British public schoolboy who has dated models in the past. He could feel that by settling down with Kristen, he’d be missing on the opportunity to date other famous women.”

And if, you know, dating other “famous women” includes lowly celebrity gossip bloggers, you can include my name in the pool, too, unnamed friend. Just saying.

Milla Jovovich has always been, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. This is why, even though some of you might think she doesn’t look amazing, I decided to publish these recent photos of her LOOKING AMAZING while leaving an airport. I mean, who else could look so fabulous after a few-hour flight? You know, aside from Lady Gaga, but that’s some pretty wretched overkill, if you ask me.

When I fly (which is pretty frequently), I look OK getting on the plane — but after? I’d be screwed if paparazzi were following me … no one looks amazing drunk, and that’s usually what flights entail for me — slaphappy drunkenness.

Way to outdo us all again with your banging looks, Milla, thanks. Mooool-ti-pass, motherfucker.

“Oh my God, poor girl. She’s Britney Spears all over again. It’s happening right before our eyes.” When her friend asked if she meant Lindsay Lohan, she answered, “No, she’s definitely headed the Britney route. It’s worse. Look at those outfits. It’s bad.”

Katy Perry blasts Miley Cyrus in an interview with Life & Style magazine. And though I’m not a huge, huge Miley fan, I’m even less a fan of Katy Perry’s (music), so I’m going to go ahead and say “Fuck you, Katy Perry, Miley’s going to go the Lindsay route, and don’t make me wrestle you over the shit, you fucking strong elephant of a woman, you.”