“I haven’t done Botox. I don’t like all that facial stuff. It scares me. You see these people who have had it, and they all look the same. I just don’t think I should go that way, especially at 43. I think I should just age. I’ve never been the prettiest person, and I don’t feel I need to chase youth.”

Pamela Anderson inadvertently speaks coherently, and makes a valid point, too. (And no, I’m not railing on her because she said she’s “never been the prettiest person” — that’s just not even the point here.)  Good job on fighting the sexualized machine that perpetuates the fabled fountain of youth!

(But comb your hair, girl.)

According to TMZ, who somehow gained exclusive access to Lindsay’s personal affairs once again, Lindsay’s jail time may not be just jail time: there’s evidently a program known as the “Impact Program” available to certain inmates in LA, which includes jail time and intensive substance abuse rehab. The program lasts five hours a day, seven days a week, and for ninety days. Looks like Lohan might actually serve her entire sentence — if they’re really serious about getting this girl clean, anyway. With Lindsay’s up-and-coming psych evals on the horizon, who knows — it might be deemed medically necessary for Lindsay to do the rehab stint, and wouldn’t that be great. I mean, I hope so. It’ll make her father happy, too, I’m sure, which is naturally what we’re all aiming for in this crazy place called planet Earth.

But really, holy fuck, man. Five hours a day. I can’t stand doing things I love for five hours a day. Christ.

If you are ordered to participate in this program, Lindsay, and you come out on the “other side” a mess? This time it’s on you, girl. All you. (Ahem, and it’s not as if it wasn’t the last time; clearly, everyone in Hollywood gets a free pass, so this might just be yours.)

Remember that time that Edward Norton played the Incredible Hulk? And remember how Edward Norton has a reputation for being an amazing actor? Well, you can write about that in a letter to Joss Whedon, because he went and kicked Ed out of his role in The Avengers.

The film, which will be released in the summer of 2012, is a big deal, just in case you haven’t heard.  First off, it’s being directed by Joss Whedon, so how could it not be incredible (Buffy 4-eva!)?  Secondly, there’s the cast:  Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man, Chris Pine as Captain America, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, Scarlett Johansson as the Black Widow.  Then there was Edward Norton as the Incredible Hulk, but not so much anymore.  A guy from Marvel explained it like this:

“Our decision is definitely not one based on monetary factors, but instead rooted in the need for an actor who embodies the creativity and collaborative spirit of our other talented cast members. The Avengers demands players who thrive working as part of an ensemble, as evidenced by Robert, Chris H., Chris E., Sam, Scarlett, and all of our talented casts. We are looking to announce a name actor who fulfills these requirements, and is passionate about the iconic role in the coming weeks.”

In other words, Edward Norton is being a little diva bitch about the whole thing.  Shame on Ed, I guess.  I’ve heard my comic geek friends talk for what seems like years about how hard they’re going to cream themselves over The Avengers, and now they’re all depressed that he’s gone.  Looks like that’s what you get for not embodying the same spirit as Robert Downey Jr.

This is what Mischa Barton wore on Thursday to a boutique opening.  Which was in public.  And also in 2010.

Mischa, are you serious with this?  Is it supposed to be some kind of throwback, an homage to the 80′s perhaps?  Is it some sort of ironic statement that you think people will understand? Or do you just really like dresses with skulls, loud colors, and unflattering cuts?  I don’t know what this is about, but this is a fact:  for some reason or another, you made a choice to pick up this dress and put it on your body and to take that body out into the world.  This was a conscious decision that you made and inflicted upon us all.  And for that, I cannot forgive you.

Also, that bow is silly.

On Friday night during a concert in New Jersey, Jon Bon Jovi moved a little too quick and hurt his leg.  He continued the song while alternately gripping his leg and hobbling around, and when the song was finished, he cracked a joke about being old.  Then, like I imagine is true for any good Bon Jovi concert, the set concluded with a lovely rendition of “Livin’ On A Prayer,” and his bandmates helped Jon off stage.

It turns out Jon tore his fucking calf muscle.  That sounds horrendous, and I’d probably be on the floor, rolling around and wailing like a two-year-old.  I’d be all “fuck Tommy and Gina, I’m dying.”  But not Bon Jovi.

He’s also said that he’s not cancelling any shows due to his injury.  The band had a day off yesterday, but tonight they have a show in New York.  I hope everything goes well for you, Jon Bon Jovi.  Keep the faith.

When Miley Cyrus ditched that whole Disney image, she apparently left a lot of her fans behind too.  Sales for “Can’t Be Tamed,” Miley’s racy new album, are kind of pathetic for her – the album sold 72% less copies than her debut album, “Breakaway,” did in its first week. This drastic drop can be at least somewhat attributed to confusing her young fans.  The New York Times spoke with Perry Hamm, an 11-year-old girl, about Miley’s new image:

“I don’t know what was going on in her head. I feel like she acts 25. She looks so old. She is too old for herself.”

Too old for herself indeed.

I think this is a fine line.  Miley’s 17, so she’s not that little Hannah Montana bitch anymore, and I can’t blame her for wanting to do her own thing.  On the other hand, she does (or did, as the case may be) have a remarkable amount of children who look up to her.  What do you guys think?  Should Miley just do what she feels or mellow out for the kids?