Liv Tyler’s just like everyone else — she picks her nose in public. [Celebslam]

Even though The Hills is over, Spencer Pratt’s still a douchecookie. [popbytes]

You know, I still haven’t seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Yep. Cue the “you suck!” [Pajiba]

Kelly Osbourne’s wicked-young fiancee is dunzo. [Celebitchy]

Penelope Cruz is married! [Amy Grindhouse]

It’s really not funny, but it is, kind of, in a way. [CityRag]

Bret Michaels is not engaged yet. I didn’t even know he was porking anyone. [Pop on the Pop]

Is Twilight poisoning our youth? [Zelda Lily]

Hey! Here’s a naked photo of a really hot soccer player! Totally NSFW, just so you know. [OMGBlog]

I can’t believe they’re still doing The Apprentice. When will the madness end? [Celebrity Smack Blog]

Let’s look at some laws, shall we?  In the state of Pennsylvania, children between the ages of seven and eighteen are permitted to work on plays, movies, TV shows, and other similar forms of media.  Children under the age of seven can do movies, but there’s no similar exemption in the law for television shows. And guess whose sextuplets are only six?

Republican congressman Thomas P. Murt is getting Pennsylvania’s attorney general to look into the Gosselin situation, because “those permits were granted even though the law does not provide for them.”

This isn’t the first time that the Gosselins have been accused of breaking child labor laws, but this time the investigation might actually force TLC to cancel the show if the permits are found to be invalid.  The real issue is clarifying within the law whether a reality show still counts as a television show since the children are just being filmed living their lives.

I think this may be a blessing in disguise.  I’ve not cared about the Gosselins for years, and this is the perfect excuse for them to disappear from the public eye.  Go gentle into that good night, Gosselins.  Please.

And “everyone” includes Tori Spelling’s three-year-old son, Liam.  He already has just short of 20,000 followers on his account, which started because he’s apparently a pretty funny kid and Tori wanted to document his wittiest statements (along with some photos).  Here’s an example of some of Liam’s gems:

“My belly roars like a monster. It says MUST EAT LOLLIPOPS! Yum!”

“I love making jello castles. Jello wiggles and parties in my tummy”

“Oh no mama. We’ve got a problem… My butt is farting again”

“MOM WHO ARE YOU?” “Tori” “WHY YOU TORI?” “Cause that’s my name” “NOOO, YOU ARE A TORI SPELLING!”

When Tori told Liam that his Twitter was turning out to be kind of popular, she says he responded with “Yeah, I’m a cool dude.”

What do you guys think about this?  While it definitely seems like little Liam is an adorable child, I’m a little bit like “Hey Tori, ever heard of a baby book?”

But, alas, she did, with new beau Reg Traviss in tow. Actually, Traviss directed the film, which is, I suppose, why she was there. He’s supposedly this clean-cut, really great guy, but he’s dating a chick who still has her ex’s name tattooed across her breast, and that would kind of be where I’d draw the line.

Years ago, I was dating this guy who was super hot and super sweet and, like, six-foot-seven, which — I’m sorry to all you short guys out there — is awesome, and we went out a few times and I was totally into him, and then when it got to the taking-off-your-clothes stage, he had a giant tattoo that said “WHITE PRIDE” on his upper arm. I was like, “Uhhhh, what’s the deal with that?” and he was like “Oh, I used to be kind of into white supremacy, but I’m not anymore. Now it’s just, like, I’m proud to be white. It’s not that I hate other races, I’m just proud to be white,” and I was like, “Um, you need to leave my apartment right now,” and he was like, “Look, it’s in my past,” and I was like “Did I mention the part about how you need to leave my apartment right now?”

Which is, I guess, like, a little different than having your ex’s name tattooed on your breast, but still. Be careful what you get permanently emblazoned on your body, kids. It’s there forever.

According to exclusive prying into personal business sources at RadarOnline, Vienna Girardi’s ex-boyfriend (no, not this one here, a different one, but this one can’t spell, either) is pissed to the point where he’s spitting nails and wants to punch his former lover in the face.

RadarOnline got a hold of some pretty incriminating — and threatening — text messages sent to Vienna by her ex-boyfriend, Brian Lee Smith, who claims that she broke his heart, so for retribution, he wants to break her face:

Brian: “It’s your turn to once get alittle of the pain I feel if I will nit lie or make up anything all truth oh btw I’ll be comin to la soon…for the record u told me I could if u hurt me again (in those fake emails) lol”

Vienna: “Please stop! Look I get that your upset but this isn’t the way to get me back.”

Brian: “Upset is not the word I want to punch you in the face and whatever I say deny it’s cool I have proof on everything! I’m not dumb I won’t say anything I can’t back up…Just to show I’m a better person than u I sold u out for free!!!!!! I would not except one penny…f**k u Vienna hope ur happy now it’s your turn look like a f**king idot.”

(more…)

Remember Chris Brown’s cheeseball performance of a Michael Jackson tribute at the BET awards last month? Those wretched, gag-a-maggot tears that were allegedly triggered by eye drops, and not because Brown has a feeling bone in his body, with the exception of his penis?

It sounds like ex-girlfriend Rihanna didn’t hear about his alleged eye drop usage, because she and Brown have reportedly reconciled (as friends, don’t worry) their differences, as Rihanna was “moved” that Brown was able to show such emotion — and not, you know, the blacked-out violence kind-of-emotion that Brown has exhibited in the past. According to a “friend” of the former couple:

“It’s been almost a year since they last spoke, but Rihanna felt like she could try to be friends with Chris again. Seeing how emotional he was on set [at the BET Awards] really touched her. She’d never seen him like that before. Chris [also] told her that he felt like he’s grown up in the past year. He’s said he’s so happy to be back in touch with her. They were each other’s first love and he’s missed her so much. Rihanna knows that if he wanted him back, he’d be there in a second.”

Uh, you know, just because you were once someone’s “first love” doesn’t mean that they automatically earn a place in your life — or your heart — down the road. Especially if the relationship ended under the circumstances that Rihanna and Chris’s did.

If, you know, you want to forgive Chris for what he did, Rihanna, more power to you. I think it’s an amazing thing when people can look inside themselves to really let go of the malicious and horrific things that some people in our past have done to us, and it’s really a gift to be able to do so. But there’s no reason to bring that person from your past back into your present.  Ihave no explanation for that — I just stand firm in my opinion that there’s just not.