So now that Lindsay’s actually in jail (even though, according to TMZ, she’ll only serve 23 days out of the 90 she was sentenced), maybe you’re wondering what her new home will be like.  If so, you’re in luck!  People gave a pretty solid breakdown of her new residence, and here are some of the highlights.

Cigarettes are “strictly forbidden,” and I bet that’s going to go over fantastically.  Another forbidden item:  the internet! Lindsay will not be able to use Twitter, and I’m sure that’s going to hurt worse than the cigarettes.  Doctors are allowed to treat her for nicotine withdrawal, but as far as I know, there aren’t any meds for the painful, mind-shattering process of going cold turkey off Twitter.  Hang in there, Lindsay!

When she arrived at the jail, all of her personal items were confiscated.  And yeah, that sounds normal, she can’t have her phone in her cell, that’s cool.  But do you know what else counts as a personal item?  Hair extensions.  I honestly cannot think of one thing that sounds more fun than getting your hair extensions taken out in jail.

And guess who’s in the cell right next to Lindsay? Alexis Neiers, that crazy girl who broke into everybody’s houses, including Lindsay’s!  If there is not a memoir or a sitcom or at least a Saturday Night Live skit commemorating this, then I’m probably going to have to write my Congressman.

P.S.  If you missed the live feed of Lindsay’s arrival at court, please do yourself a favor and check out this video so you can see my very favorite part:  the throwing of the confetti.

According to the booking sheet, Lindsay checked in at 5’6″ and weighs 118 lbs.

Enjoy Lynwood, Linds! If worse comes to worse, you can always eat the Restylane in your lips.

While we (tragically!) don’t have any pics of LiLo in handcuffs, we do have these shots of her approaching the courthouse.

Sarah did a fantastic job of liveblogging the surrender this morning, and Lindsay is, as of right now, IN JAIL. She was sentenced to 90 days, and she’s expected to serve around 23 of those. I swear, if they let her out tomorrow morning because of jail overcrowding or some bullshit, I’m gonna be PISSED. She still has to go to inpatient rehab afterward, but, like, I want this girl to see some CONSEQUENCES for her actions. I want this for her because I do not want her to die. I want her to get sober and get her shit together so we can all enjoy another installment of the Herbie series. I WANT THIS FOR ALL OF US.

Oh, and her dad was at the courthouse too, even though Lindsay’s specifically noted that she doesn’t want that evil fucking psychopath anywhere near her.

Also: Is this the type of outfit you’d wear to surrender yourself to jail? Discuss.

Lily Allen quit music, is shacking up with her boyfriend Sam Cooper and undergoing a detox to make herself more more wifeable. Because all international singing sensation Lily Allen wants in life is to get married and have kids. Yawn.

One kind of shocking move that was made on Lily’s part was deleting all of her famous friends from her phonebook. A source who spoke the The Daily Mail said that nixing her Hollywood pals was a move she needed to make. “Lily says she wants no part of the party stuff that goes with being in the public eye, and she wants to concentrate on starting a family. She believes the only way to start afresh is to cut all ties with her old showbiz mates. She prefers to hang out with Sam’s non-famous friends.”

Admittedly, if Lily’s thinking about having kids, “famous types” probably aren’t the best people for her to be hanging around, but I do hope that she’s not giving up too much of her old self to make her new life work. Normally when I hear of people discarding their old, valuable lives so that they’ll fit in better with a new lover, there’s some serious emotional abuse and self-esteem issues going on behind the scenes. Whatever she’s up to, I just hope she’s happy in the long run.

It’s just been announced that former Making the Band “star” Aubrey O’Day will be starring in her own reality TV show. Everyone else has one, so why not give one to the slutty girl from Danity Kane, you know? Sounds like that show has a lot of potential… NOT.

The deal has been set up with Oxygen, who sound really hopeful that this show isn’t going to be a pile of embarrassing trash for both them and Aubrey. Senior VP of development at Oxygen, Amy Introcaso-Davis, says, “Young women have watched the ups and downs of Aubrey through the years, and they continue to cheer her on. We’re excited to deliver her story as she battles the issues that resonate with our audience, from self-doubt and body image to an intense desire for success and redemption.”

Who knows? Maybe we’ll get lucky and this chick will bring on the mindless entertainment like Kendra, but my guess is that this is going to be as tragic as when that dude from O-Town had his own show about his comeback. It think it was literally called “Back Again” or something. Ugh. Knowing that these people are alive makes me feel like I’ve been on Earth too long.

The woman who’s had Mel Gibson by the balls for the last couple of weeks, Oksana Grigorieva, apparently paid a huge price to do so. According to a source, Mel offered Oksana a cool fifteen million to keep the tapes under wraps. But in a world where Tiger Woods is paying several times that to shut up his women, Oksana didn’t take the money. Instead, she’s been ruining his life and we’ve been loving every second of it.

From NY Daily News:

Oksana Grigorieva tentatively agreed to Gibson’s offer in exchange for keeping damaging tapes of his meltdowns confidential, but ultimately chose to preserve her leverage, the source said.

“She was adamant she was being coerced,” the source told the Daily News.

Fifteen million is a pretty paycheck and I doubt she going to get more money than that from all of this in the long run. I feel like Oksana took a huge hit financially to ensure that her ex’s life was ruined, which in a way is pretty respectable.