Just look at that face.  Doesn’t it just scream “I am busting at the seams with talent”?  Of course it does, because it’s Justin motherfucking Bieber, and he can do anything at all on this planet.

The Biebz is going to be appearing as a guest star on CSI. Here’s what People had to say about the role:

The 16-year-old will play “a troubled teen who is faced with a terrible decision regarding his only brother — a decision that leads him into an explosive confrontation” with the crime scene investigators, the show’s producers said in a statement on the show’s Web site.

And the best part for Bieber fans? It’s just the beginning. Producers said the episode is the start of “an emotional story that will conclude later in the season.”

“This will be true event television,” executive producers Carol Mendelsohn, Don McGill and Anthony Zuiker said. “We’re looking forward to Justin’s dramatic star turn, not only in the premiere, but in a continuing seasonal arc.”

I never wanted to watch multiple episodes of CSI, but it looks like I’m going to have to this season.  Let’s be real, I can’t not support Justin in all he does, because then it would look bad when we finally meet and fall in love.  I am nothing if not loyal to my future famous boyfriends.

Why would anyone in their right minds want to see Paris Hilton topless? [Celebslam]

Tila Tequila supposedly won the lottery. Maybe now she can buy some panties. [popbytes]

The original Night of the Living Dead re-sketched, animated? [Pajiba]

Eddie Cibrian moves in with LeAnn Rimes. I can’t wait to see how this one plays out, ha. [Celebitchy]

Told you January Jones was on her way out. [Zelda Lily]

Mel Gibson wanted to take out TMZ’s Harvey Levin … and I don’t mean “to dinner.” [Allie is Wired]

I’d rather “saw” off my right arm than watch any of these movies — especially the new 3D version. [Amy Grindhouse]

Huh. And I though Kim Kardashian was dating Miles Austin. This is just such a shocker. [Betty Confidential]

Yes, we knew Queen Latifah was a lesbian. So? [OMGBlog]

Shakira is still smoking hot, and I don’t care what you say about it. [Celebrity Smack Blog]

“I have to tell you all something. And I know it is going to hurt a lot of people but it’s time … okay here goes … wow this is hard but I gotta. The Bundys were not real people …There I said it. Not real. Just actors. Brilliant actors if I say so myself haha. What’s done is done.”

- Christina Applegate disillusioning Kelly Bundy die hards on her Twitter.

Hey, Lohan! Don’t worry about that whole “going to jail for a DUI” thing, because apparently it will have no effect on how you live your life. In a lot of ways, seeing these photos of Paris Hilton being doused in expensive champagne in Saint Tropez are about as refreshing as I’d imagine being doused with champagne in Saint Tropez to be. Look at her living life and not giving a fuck! To think that just a short time ago this woman was serving time and now she’s back to living it up the way she was born to do. That’s great. That’s so great.

There are a few things that you kinda sorta don’t do when you’re a famous person, and one of those things is “shit talk Oprah”. You know, because she’s kinda one of the most powerful humans on the planet and she can make or destroy you. Well, you wanna know who doesn’t give a fuck about that? M.I.A., duh. Because she’ll take down anyone.

M.I.A. and Oprah supposedly had a bad encounter at a recent event where the talkshow host was making a speech about the cultural significance of Lady Gaga. According to M.I.A., both of those things are a bunch of BS:

Oprah seemed like she was giving me the cold shoulder. She was with Iman (Bowie). Iman was always dancing with me, hugging and kissing me, but Oprah seemed really pissed off with me. Also she made this huge speech at the ball praising Lady Gaga and about how she (Lady Gaga) is helping Americans to be the best of themselves. There’s millions of other Americans who represent that for me. Is (it) about numbers? About how much you’re selling? Is it truly about the journey? Because (Lady Gaga’s) journey isn’t that difficult: to go from the f*cking Upper East Side to a f*cking performing arts school and on to a stage at the museum of f*cking wherever. That journey’s about four miles.

Damn. If that’s true about Oprah, I can’t say I disagree. M.I.A. makes me mad uncomfortable sometimes, but in a better way than Lady Gaga does. And you know, that is kinda true about Gaga just being some Upper East Side bitch named Stephanie with a wig on.

But like, don’t be upset when you’re not on the Favorite Things list this year, Maya.

If there’s one thing I love about the porn industry (and trust me, the list is ENDLESS, so it’s hard to pick just one), it’s their dedication to preserving important moments in pop culture history with pornographic parodies. Lindsay Lohan just got locked up this week and there’s already an adult film about it! It’s like, who beside Saturday Night Live has that kind of turn around?

A very obviously NSFW promo for the video can be seen on the HUSTLER website (It includes spicy dialogue such as, “She didn’t dump me, I’m the hottest pussy in town. They don’t call me firecrotch for nothing, you know.”) and you can buy the whole movie there, as well. You know, like, if you’re into pop culture or whatever.