Today's Evil Beet Gossip

OK, I’m Confirming That Miranda Kerr is Pregnant

I’ve been reading all over the webs over the past twenty-four hours that Miranda Kerr is pregnant, and a lot of the stories seem kind of vague in their confirmations. This one says that Orlando “accidentally” leaked it to hotel staff, another one features Heidi Klum talking about how adorable a Mirlando child will be, so you know what? I’m taking this fucking ball, and I’m running with it.

MIRANDA KERR’S PREGNANT! OMG! WTF! WOW!

OK, now that we’ve got that covered, multiple sources have confirmed that Kerr’s carrying the offspring of Orlando Bloom in her womb (hey, that rhymes … if you pronounce womb correctly, anyway; I’ve heard stranger things), and I really think it’s true. Miranda sat for an interview earlier in the year and stated that she’d love nothing more than to settle down and raise kids on a solar-powered farm somewhere out in God’s country. So, girl, here’s your chance. Orlando must be stoked. You turned him down twice (that we’re aware of), so maybe he just decided to take matters into his own hands and “fake” a condom or accidentally toss one of your birth control pills down the drain. Oopsie!

A preemptive congratulations to the parents to be!

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