Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Ah, the Things We Learn in Jail

We don’t learn our lessons, and we don’t internally reflect on what’s important in life and what can be cast aside — we make sure we emerge looking “beautiful” and “gorgeous,” and we make sure that’s what everyone around us is focusing on, too. Remorse? No. Recovery? Fuck no! It’s all about the looks, baby, and that’s precisely what Lindsay Lohan’s asshole lawyer is saying now, more or less.

Shawn Chapman Holley, the first lawyer to bail on Lindsay and her sad (read: pathetic) situation, says:

“She looks gorgeous. … She’s writing a lot. She’s creating art,” says Holley. “She’s a beautiful, talented, creative woman, and she’s going to come out and surprise you all!”

You know, that’s great and all that you have the support (for now) of your lawyer, Linds, but maybe you should talk some sense into her. Maybe you should tell her that the whole point of this entire jail thing was not to emerge looking “beautiful” or to “make art,” but it was to make some serious decisions about avoiding behavior that’s going to make you dead, kid. There’s nothing flowery and butterfly-y about that shit. I don’t give a flaming crap what you look like once you get out of the hoosegow, as long as you’ve learned your lesson and are willing to change your ways, girl.

2 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I agree with what you’re saying. However, I must speculate that if she DID come out of jail looking like ass, it would be reported as such. And probably by this site… Just sayin.

  • I remember when our friend, Paris, got out of the slammer and was all “I’m a changed woman” bullshit. Look at her now! Do we expect more from Lindsay? How many times has this chick been to rehab? You get it, Sarah. Most of your readers get it. But Lohan seems like she never will. Maybe if she lives long enough. Who knows? I just hope she doesn’t kill or hurt anybody else in the process of her addiction & related behaviors (driving, car jacking, spending time with her baby sister….).