Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Is Mischa Barton Getting … Laid?

Ugh. Sorry. I didn’t even realize myself how awful that visual was until I typed it out. My bad.

But in all honesty, (because, c’mon, we know that very few self-respecting men would even fling a pork sword in her general direction) it looks like she’s paid some dude to appear all boyfriendesque in public for She the Former Star Who Now Appears Crusty.

Mischa’s new boyfriend DJ Ali (snort) Love, who has Megan Fox club thumbs in the one photo below, the skinniest legs I’ve ever seen on a man and is wearing a rosary around his NECK — enough said! — is definitely a decoy. For what? I don’t fucking know. The smell. The crust. It could be a multitude of things, but I’m not getting close enough to either one of them to thoroughly examine anything.

[Update: Hats off to the reader that clarified that the above photo does not include Barton’s new boyfriend, DJ Ali Love.  I’m off to go rip apart a photo agency for mislabeling a bunch of photos.  Bonus points to anyone who can find a photo of DJ Ali Love, ’cause I spent way too much time searching to come up empty-handed. But I do stick by my original analysis that designer Philipp Plein, the guy above, has Megan Fox thumbs.]

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  • That’s Philipp Plein, the designer for whom she’s modelling in his new campaign. The backround looks like they’re at an event for his label.

  • She looks like someone put her in a big sack with half a dozen donuts, the nineties, the contents of a sale bin at Clare’s, a couple ounces of pot and a ferrel cat, and rolled her down a hill.

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