Today's Evil Beet Gossip

First Exclusive Photo of Jessica Simpson and New Boyfriend

Happy Birthday, Jess! Your new boyfriend, Eric Johnson, is definitely top-notch, and just by the kiss, I can surmise that you guys are pretty happy right now.

I won’t mention how it looks like you have a set of legs emerging from your torso, but hey. Maybe that’s part of your whole “sexual napalm” thing. Two sets of legs to wrap around some big football-playing guy?

Bitch is the original Spiderwoman. Just … hotter.

6 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Not many men can handle snorting up crack cocaine, napalm, sexual napalm and crazy wild in bed, I would sell all my $**@ just to #!$# her. I greatly admire him. Sincerly, John Mayer.

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    like you have a set of legs emerging from your torso, but hey. Maybe that’s part of your whole “sexual napalm” thing. Two sets of legs to wrap around some big football-playing guy?