It’s Vanilla Ice, with his brand new invention of being a douchebag!

Ok, just kidding, that was his old brand new invention, but it’s still pretty relevant.  Vanilla Ice was filmed driving a car through flames and confetti, then into a pond.  It’s going to be on his new television program, The Vanilla Ice Project, which is probably meant to promote his new album, WTF, both of which are going to grace the world in September.

When is he going to stop?  If you haven’t had a hit song since 1990, and even that song you ripped off of people who are actually talented, maybe it’s time to throw in the towel.  Maybe it’s time to do something other than drive a car into a pond for TV. Just maybe.

Do you recognize this guy?  No?  Ok, then look at some context clues, because that’s the guy who played Eddie Munster on The Munsters, Butch Patrick.  And he’s getting married.

Here’s how he met his soon-to-be wife, Donna.  In 1964, Donna sent a fan letter to her first crush and favorite Munster, Butch, and – could you just die?! – he responded.  They wrote letters back and forth few a few years until they lost contact. Then, a couple of years ago, Donna emailed Butch to let him know that she still cared.  And he did too, you guys!  So he moved from L.A. to Pennsylvania to be with her, and now they’re getting married.

I could coo about this story for quite a bit longer, but I am going to choose to work on a fan letter to Justin Bieber instead.  You guys work on your fan letters too, and I’ll see you in like 40 years when we’re all happily married to former celebrities.

In the days before Lindsay Lohan went to jail, she did a couple things.  She did that photo shoot for Complex and she had some fun at that sober living house.  She also did something else – that above video, which I’m pretty sure is NSFW.

The video is a trailer for a film Vince Offer, the ShamWow guy, wrote and directed.  As seen in the trailer, Lindsay appears in a skit in which she’s dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and murders a bunch of paparazzi with a couple handguns.  Also appearing in this film is Michael Clarke Duncan as “the gay virgin,” Bobby Lee from MadTV, and the ShamWow guy shows up, too!

Mostly it just looks like a movie that’s trying to be bad, which never seems to work out well.  Watching the trailer just made me feel like a juvenile delinquent on acid, which isn’t something I usually go for.  What about you guys?  Are you at all interested in this movie?

And right now, that person is Jessica Biel.

In a recent interview, Jessica made some comments about her financial worries that pissed a lot of people off (and by “a lot of people,” I mostly mean me and a couple other bloggers):

Biel told Radio 1: “Since I was so young when I started I didn’t think about it. I just liked it, it was fun. But as I got older and started to become an adult and then had to get a car and have to pay for insurance and all those things… it’s a huge worry.”

The 28-year-old added: “For example, I haven’t worked at all this year. I haven’t made a film so I haven’t had a pay cheque and I won’t do anything until September and I don’t know if I’ll do anything after.

“It’s always up in the air constantly. My life is very much a question mark when the next pay cheque is coming in and even when it seems like you make enough money, you sometimes don’t know when the next cheque is coming in.”

Really?  You are a movie star.  You were on 7th Heaven.  You are banging Justin Timberlake.  There is absolutely no need for you to cry about your money woes, and if there is, then maybe you need to doing cocaine cut with stardust and filling your swimming pool with pirate gold, because that’s the only way I can figure you’d be in financial trouble.

So Britney Spears has been out and about a lot lately with the most horrible hair.  While I just chalked it up to Britney being her good ol’ crazy, lovable self, there’s actually a little more to the story.  Don’t worry, it’s still because she’s crazy though.

Apparently the situation is that Britney constantly switches stylists.  According to E!, she’s been bouncing between stylists and salons for a while now, and here’s the reason:

“They don’t want anyone getting close to her,” a source tells E! News. “They won’t use anyone who has done her hair in the past and won’t let any current stylist see her more then three times.”

Does that sound really shady to anyone else?  Why can’t Britney get close to someone?  Are there secrets that no one knows about that could be divulged to a sympathetic stylist? Does Britney have attachment issues?  Has the real Britney died and the girl we are seeing stumbling around today is really a robot?

Please do your part in solving this mystery in the comments.

Whatever it is, Katy Perry’s present is probably cooler.

For Russell Brand’s 35th birthday, Katy bought him a trip to outer space.  He’ll be on the Virgin Galactic thing that I think I heard about back in middle school for its very first voyage. Here’s the description of Katy’s present from E!:

Brand and the other brave participants will jet more than 365,000 feet straight into the Earth’s atmosphere at a speed three times faster than the speed of sound. Then they can unfasten their seatbelts and float weightlessly for five minutes before shuttling back to Earth.

“There will be 17-inch-diameter windows to look out onto,” a space agent for Virgin Galactic tells E! “Passengers will be able to view Earth around 800 miles in any direction from space.”

But Russell will have to do some prep work before his blastoff, including two to three days of astronaut training. Luckily, he has plenty of time, since the spacecraft is still in testing stages.

And then, when he comes back down to Earth after hanging out in space, he’ll get astronaut wings and they’ll throw him an astronaut party.  Because Russell Brand will be an astronaut. What is happening to the world?