Christina Ricci arrived earlier in the week at an event held at the Museum of Modern Art in NYC.  And she was wearing what looked like a Fraggle stapled to a magician’s top hat.  Clearly, the only thing she’s missing to complete her oddball ensemble is a fucking rabbit.

Anyway, I love Ricci.  She’s cute and seemingly-fun and funny in that wide-eyed “Me? I’m funny?” kind of way, and I’ve pretty much been a hardcore fan since she played Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family and Kat Harvey in Casper (I also had a wicked big crush on Devon Sawa, though I’m embarrassed to admit that today). I also loved Now and Then, when she played the young version of Rosie O’Donnell. I always kind of laughed about that, too.  Obviously I was a bitchy little snot when I was twelve, as well, because the thought of Christina Ricci growing up to look anything like Rosie O’Donnell was definitely one of those side-splitting, laugh-’til-you-cough-something-up ideas.

Ahem, anyway.

However. This dress, girl? Needs to go back to Morticia’s closet, along with whatever mindset and ideas possessed you to ever, ever wear it.

Get on it!

I’ll be the first to admit that I give too much attention to famewhores, but you guys are going to have to meet me in the middle on this one because these photos of Heidi Montag and her “friend” Jen Bunney are effing priceless.

Here’s the backstory: So Heidi and Spencer are “taking a break” from their fake marriage and Heidi during that time Heidi is going to stay with Jen Bunney, who you all probably recognize as Lauren Conrad’s former-BFF from Laguna Beach and the first couple seasons of The Hills. It’s interesting that Jen and Heidi would stick together, but not exactly hard to believe. We can’t forget that Jen and Lauren are no longer friends because Jen hooked up with Brody Jenner right after he’d hooked up with Lauren and the entire thing was facilitated by Lauren’s roommate and other BFF, Heidi.

Cut to today, Heidi’s parked her sad ass in front of Jen’s pool with her dogs and some paparazzi for what she does best: A totally staged photo shoot. And yes, I’m feeding into it by taking the photos from OK and posting them here, but suck it. These are the best photos I’ve seen in forever and they’ll be really hard to top.

1. Heidi can’t act, so her emotions during this photo set go from “sad” to “sexy” to “devastated” to “check out my ass”. It’s really quite the interesting mix.
2. Jen Bunney could not look more fucking thrilled to have people paying attention to her again
3. Heidi, for all the money that she spent on wrecking her face, dresses like Kendra before she got to the Playboy Mansion. Cheap, cheap, cheap. It was $1 Flip Flop Day at Old Navy recently, Heidi. You should have sent your assistant.

Alright, enjoy:

Not since American Idol has a reality show brought so many unknown singers to the public’s attention. First there was Kim Zolciak, then there was the already-established Kandi Burruss, then our ears were raped by Countess LuAnn, and now, the ultimate Diva, Danielle Staub has announced she is releasing a track.

Danielle is recording a duet with Lori Michaels, who supposedly some people give a shit about. Danielle talked to People about their collaboration and of course it was about what you’d expect:

On her song “Real Close”: “It’s a song about having commitment issues — one person is leaving, the other person is staying. It’s called ‘Real Close’ because you want to pull the person closer. For the main version, the vibe is very sexy, very raw. There’s going to be a dance mix, but the main version won’t be dance.”

On her singing ability: ““I sang in an R&B band when I was a young teen. It’s been a long time since I exercised [my musical chops] but when I was sitting down going over Lori’s music, this song grabbed me.”

On how, despite being a heterosexual, she is a card-carrying homo: “I’ve been part of the gay community for thirty years. The gay community is the one place, in all honestly, that I’ve ever truly felt safe and loved for just being me. Nobody ever cared where I’ve been, what I’ve done. They just let me be me.”

On the opinions of her Real Housewives co-stars: “I don’t care what they think. I don’t have a relationship with them.”

How amazing that Danielle can carve some time out of her busy baby cancer fundraising schedule to treat us all to some of her vocal stylings. What a freakin’ blessing. Also, have y’all been watching the show? What the hell was up with that ex-con Danny she brought to the cancer fundraiser? Jesus Christ on the Cross, that guy looked like Faces of Meth jumped off of Danielle’s computer and into her life. And I love that Danielle and her friend were dressed to the nines and they show up in a Bentley with an ex-con wearing a Hanes t-shirt and some Wranglers and Danielle is acting like she’s some bunk-ass version of Carmela Soprano. Ugh! The nerve.

Also, how much do you guys miss Dina’s daughter Lexi on the show? Major sadface re: her not appearing on this season.

I have been calling Tom Cruise crazy for years. It’s like my favorite thing to do. Pre-Oprah couch-jumping, I was really into learning about Scientology and that’s what really got me on the “Tom Cruise is mental” train. And then you know how sometimes you think that someone’s mental for so long that you forget that they’re talented? And when you’re watching them in movies you’re like, “Yeah, cool story, Banana Brains. I seen you jumping on couches and you ruined that girl from Dawson’s”? And so you know when you’re there with someone and you think you’re never going to go back and then they put something out there that blows your mind and you’re just like, “Fuck your craziness! Actually, I want to marry your craziness! I’d get crazy with your talented ass for days, boy!”

That’s how I feel about Tom Cruise playing his alter ego, Les Grossman, in these MTV Promos. I talked about it yesterday, but this new Risky Business one is what helped me work through these feelings and come out on the other side with a whole thought.

I got lost in his crazy, guys. That’s all. It’s fine if he believes in aliens and won’t let his wife talk during birth and he’s basically at the head of a pyramid scheme that’s ruined hundreds of thousands of lives. So the fuck what? I can still laugh!

It seems like Miley ditched the good girl vibe quite some time ago, but only recently have I realized that somewhere down the line she started only doing the mildly raunchy. Just like Britney and Christina before her, Miley is so tired of being considered a product of Disney that she’s now marketing herself as a product of Heidi Fleiss. You could argue that the girl (and yes, she’s still a girl) is 17 and exploring her sexuality, but I was once 17 and my sexuality was restrained to my high school boyfriend’s bedroom Mondays-Fridays between the hours of 3 and 5 PM. And I definitely wouldn’t have been allowed to wear a cut up Cheap Trick shirt (as if anyone in her audience thinks that’s the name of a band) and I definitely wouldn’t have grinded on an older man in a fedora knowing that my parents were a mere 15 feet away watching, but HEY! That’s showbiz!

Remember the guy that made the application that blocks Justin Bieber from your internets? Yeah, that’s Greg Leuch, and he’s getting all kinds of death threats for that.

Here’s an email he got from a 15-year-old:

What you’re doing is going back to World War II all over again. Hitler wanting to erase Jews from society — you want to erase Justin Drew Bieber.

I absolutely love that this girl used his middle name.  Here’s a little something Greg got on Twitter:

I know many things about you and i know where you live. Just be aware. I might just appear behind you and shoot you with a gun.

To quote Youtube, slow down, crazy.  I mean, I loved me some Nsync back in the day, but I never made any death threats or Hitler comparisons over them.  I really don’t get what it is about this kid that has girls saying these kinds of things.  I can’t imagine me or my 12-year-old self threatening anyone’s life over some celebrity, and I can get kind of fanatical (I was 16 when David Bowie’s last album came out, and I celebrated by shaving my eyebrows and doing Ziggy Stardust makeup.  I’d never shaved anything on my face before.  I fucked it up.  It hurt, but I did it because I’m fanatical sometimes, and that’s what this whole story is a reference to).  What about you guys?  Ever done anything crazy over a celebrity?

And here’s a Bieber bonus, just in case you need more hilarity in your life.