Smile, baby!

Word on the street is that Grey’s Anatomy phenom Katherine Heigl is trying to spread the word that she should be nominated for an Emmy award due to her huge success on the medical-themed and mega star-power that, you know, follows her everywhere she goes. According to Entertainment Weekly, Heigl, herself, has really done just that:

Though she sat out more than half of the season of Grey’s Anatomy, Katherine Heigl has submitted herself in the supporting actress category for this year’s Emmy race, her representative confirms. There is no set amount of episodes that an actor must appear in to be eligible for either the supporting or lead actor categories.

Heigl only appeared in a handful of episodes this year before her character, Dr. Izzie Stevens, was last seen around Seattle Grace in January. Heigl was due back on the set of the ABC drama March 1 but she never showed up. Heigl told EW that “rumors that I refused to return were totally untrue.” ABC Studios said it was mutually agreed upon that Heigl would end her run this season.

Yes, guys, she totally does deserve that Emmy … and you wanna know why? Because you’re probably looking at the next condescending, good-living advice-spewing, Goop-filled Gwyneth Paltrow, right here. Like the child that craves attention, maybe if you acknowledge her quick and thoroughly, she’ll go away for awhile. Or at least until the next pain in the ass kid comes along and doesn’t want to share their stupid ball, either.

That was yesterday. I just discovered further evidence.

These pics were taken on May 17 at the Prince of Persia premiere, before her tiny, quiet wedding to a man she’s been dating less than a year.

Her grin is the only thing bigger than her giant, prego breasts and her giant, prego-concealing dress.

I’m happy for her. She looks gorge.

Here’s a clip from the premiere of Kate Plus 8, which I didn’t watch, because I don’t have a DVR right now. Also, I wouldn’t have watched it anyway.

Meredith Viera on Kate Gosselin’s hair extensions: “It’s her body.” Which, like, is true, but also why are we airing TV episodes heightening the body-ownership drama of Kate’s hair extensions six months after this shit played out in the press? This is not to give Meredith Viera any shit, it’s just a dumb way to cut an episode. Was the rest of the show any better? How did the sextuplets do on their first day of high school? Is Mady’s divorce finalized yet? WHEN IS THIS ALL GOING TO END?

Kate’s hair looks waaaay worse in this clip than it ever did in photos. That’s the thing about fusion hair extensions like hers: They look pretty decent in photos, but they look awful under any other circumstance. They look even more awful if your hair is too short to properly disguise them. Also, I think this hair guy did a shitty job.

Yup, Jessica Alba still looks like an uber-bitch. [Celebitchy]

So, are Katy Perry’s tits real or fake? I’m too distracted by looking at them to decide. [Celebslam]

Ever hear of RJ Berger? No? Then I’m clearly not the only one. [popbytes]

Oh, Marmaduke. You stopped being campy and fun in the newspaper back when I was in elementary school. The fuck are people making such a big fuss about you nowadays, anyway? Scooby run off with some ho?  [Pajiba]

Of course Miley’s not really a lesbian. She just plays on on TV. [Amy Grindhouse]

Uh, WTF is this? (And the “W” means “who” in this case.) [CityRag]

Tila Tequila “commits suicide.” Or at least “tries.” And yes, I’m being very sarcastic. [Pop on the Pop]

The new Twilight trailer’s been released. Y’know, if you’re into that sort of thing. [Betty Confidential]

Dude. This guy sounds an awful lot like what Chris Brown probably would, if he stopped doing stupid interviews and dropped the “I’m actually a good dude” front. [Zelda Lily]

Is Lance Bass hooking up with Lorenzo Martone? [OMGBlog]

Haha, Coolio has a really stupid tattoo. [Celebrity Smack Blog]

When you’re on a successful reality show and the location of your home is public, you’re bound to get rolled up on just like Leo and Drew do by those Star Map mother fuckers. Jaqueline Laurita from the New Jersey cast posted to her Twitter about fans coming to her house uninvited, and while she seemed to handle it graciously, I don’t know how safe it is for their family to continue to be so accessible.

Meanwhile, Jill Zarin fron New York City is dealing with something similar, except she’s taking it much more seriously. Jill posted to her Facebook page over the weekend about two families that are stalking her and says that she sought the advice of another Jersey cast member, Dina Manzo:

“We are being harassed and threatened by a family from Chicago and Alabama. We have contacted authorities. I will block anyone who is linked to them per postal service law enforcement until they finish investigation. This is a serious crime and all evidence has been handed over. If you are involved in anyway. I suggest you stop. Enough is enough. It is NOT funny or a joke…I will not tolerate haters on my Facebook and Twitter accounts anymore. The show is now OVER. I will be blocking anyone following the serious haters as well. Dina gave me good advice. You know who I mean. Haters come with being a celebrity. We all have them, but I will do my best to block them and their followers. Peace and Love. Not hate.”

It sounds like Jill is being overly dramatic (it’s not like it’s out of character for her to freak out over nothing), but when it comes down to the safety of you and family, you can’t mess around. I hope that Bravo is taking measures to help their stars.

Matthew Knowles, the terribly scary father of my idol, Beyonce Knowles has put the final nail in the Destiny’s Child coffin. If any of you were still aching to hear “Jumpin’, Jumpin’” live, then you’re shit out of luck. And no, it’s not because Kelly and Michelle refused to ever don a Tina Knowles original again.

When asked about a possible reunion, the dadager (you know, a male momager), said:

“Contrary to rumors online of a Destiny’s Child reunion, there are no plans for the group to reunite for a performance or album. The rumors are false. Destiny’s Child made an unprecedented impact in contemporary music, becoming one of the best-selling groups of all time. Beyoncé, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams have each moved on to successful solo careers. The members remain close, but will not reunite as a group.”?

I feel like this goes against what they’ve been saying since their initial split which was, “No, no. We’re not over, we’re just taking a break. We’ll always be sisters.” Sisters they may still be, but where’s that record they promised us like, five years ago?