You guys know about Johnny Weir, right?  He’s the best figure skater, if you didn’t know.  Now that you do, please join with me in rejoicing the fact that he wants to be on Dancing With The Stars.

“I hope [I’m going to do Dancing With the Stars]. I met Karina Smirnoff a few weeks ago and she was like, ‘Johnny, you are the perfect height for me. Let’s dance.’ So … it’s on. I’ve chosen my partner, I’m ready.”

Did you hear that, whoever is in charge of selecting contestants for Dancing With The Stars?  Get on that.  Because of course it’s amusing and sometimes endearing when people like Kate Gosselin and Buzz Aldrin do it, but Johnny Weir would tear the fucking floor up.  He’d be all “you want me to do this tango shit?  Did you see the Winter Olympics?”

“Me and my fiancee love him. We want our own Justin Bieber. We can’t have the actual one because he’s busy with his work. I understand he procreates by laying eggs in the sea and then we can fertilize these eggs and have our own Justin Biebers. We could grow Justin Bieber in a jar like sea monkeys.”

- Russell Brand discussing how he and Katy Perry love Justin Bieber.

I adore Russell Brand.  Not in the “omg, I totes want to bang him” way, more in the “he has interesting hair, I like his voice, and he makes me giggle” way.  Which is ironic, because those are the same reasons why I like Justin Bieber.

There’s been a lot of rumors about Sarah Palin getting breast implants, but she wants you to know that’s not the truth.

“No, I have not had implants.  A report like that is about as real and truthful as reports that [my husband] Todd and I are divorcing or that I bought a place in the Hamptons or that [my son] Trigg is not my own child.”

She also says the cause of these rumors are “bored, idle bloggers and reporters with nothing else to talk about.”  Hey, don’t hate, Sarah. It’s hard out here for a pimp.

Lea Michele has her first feature film role as the voice of Dorothy in the upcoming Dorothy of Oz, an animated 3D extravaganza.  Other members of the cast include Dan Aykroyd as the Scarecrow, Jim Belushi as the Lion, Kelsey Grammer as the Tin Man, Oliver Platt as the new character Wiser the Owl, and Martin Short as the Jester, Dorothy’s new arch-nemesis.  The songs will be written by Bryan Adams.

I love everything about this.  It’s either going to be completely beautiful or a complete travesty.  To be honest, I kind of see it going more down the travesty route, but in that way that it’s still just amazingly entertaining.   What about you guys?

Ok, so there was Gary Coleman’s original, official will from 1999 that appointed a friend as executor of his estate and left all of his assets to the  ”Trustee of the Millennium Edge Trust.”  Then his crazy ex-wife produced that sketchy hand-written document that named her the sole beneficiary from 2007, but that’s just a codicil of the original will.  Now there’s another will from 2005 in which Gary leaves everything to some chick named Anna Gray.  Apparently Anna and Gary were close buds and roomies, but when Gary met ol’ Shannon Price, things went south.  According to Gary’s manager,

“When Shannon moved in, the relationship got difficult because Shannon didn’t like the fact that there was somebody else in his life, and, of course, he sided with [Shannon], and Anna was asked to leave.”

If the 2005 will is proven valid, there’s a good chance that Anna Gray could end up with everything.  I really hope that’s what happens, because I think that’s what will cause Shannon Price to give up all pretenses of being human and finally revert to her true form, which is a siren.  But not like a bird woman or anything traditional like that, like the one from Supernatural, where she’s just some person who gives people whatever they need and then makes them do crazy things. Yeah, like that.

Kristen Stewart is currently talking to some producers and directors about the possibility of doing some theatre on London’s West End after her whole Twilight business is wrapped up.  She hasn’t decided what play she wants to be in yet, but the producers have given her some plays to peruse.  I had trepidations about this whole affair, but then I read this illuminating quote she made to Vogue:

“Unlike movie acting, you have to deliver the whole performance there and then. You live it every night.”

And now I’m completely disgusted.

This is the same issue I had with that Jonas Brother in Les Mis. I don’t care if someone started doing theatre when he was in the fucking womb and spent his infant years doing small regional theatre gigs before being the Phantom of the Opera on Broadway at the tender age of five, the minute you become someone who makes hoards of preteens obsess over you, stay out of theatre*.  You’re just going to make people who actually want to see a play pissed off because a large portion of the audience would scream when you try try to heart-wrenchingly sing “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables,” Nick Jonas.

But Kristen Stewart in a play is so much worse than Nick Jonas in a play.  Because I know that Kristen Stewart can’t act.  Not even a little bit.

*By the way, it was cool when Daniel Radcliffe did this in Equus because there weren’t tons of parents willing to take their impressionable young daughters to see some dude getting all naked and horny over a horse.