Maybe. According to a recent nomination for “America’s Best DJ,” Jersey Shore‘s orange, shellacked, crappy music-spinning character, Pauly D could be crowned with the notoriety that comes along with being the greatest DJ in the land.

And I guess I’m not the only one kind of regurgitating breakfast (I did not have sausage and potatoes today) over it, because last year’s winner, Z-Trip, has some less-than-lovely things to say about the little man’s nomination, too:

Being last years winner, I have 2 say, it’s a bit of a knock 2 all the OG’s 2 include Pauly D on Americas Best DJ 2010 ballot.

Don’t hide your feelings, there, friend. Tweet it up.

So, yeah. Even if you know nothing about the DJ’ing community, go and nominate someone else. Or make sure you vote for someone else when the time comes. There’s a zillion and a half to choose from. Because really? If this clown gains even an iota more of ill-deserved fame, I might just kill myself. Really.

Yup, we covered this yesterday, but eyewitnesses now confirm that Kate and Matthew Bellamy have been spotted in public together, so you all know what that means: they’re making sweet, sweet love.

According to People magazine eyewitnesses:

Hudson flew to Paris and attended a Muse concert. The next day, “the pair were seen strolling through the Place Vendome, a square in the center of Paris. ‘They seemed very much a couple,’ a witness tells PEOPLE. ‘Just walking together, enjoying the sunshine.’ Later that afternoon, Hudson and Bellamy opted for a late lunch on the Left Bank at the celebrated Brasserie Lipp, leaving through a rear exit of the eatery when photographers turned up.

Damn, does girlfriend work fast. She just went to the concert and the next day, they’re supposedly shackin’ up?  Kate Hudson seems like she changes fuck-buddies boyfriends as often as I change panties … which is a lot. And no, not ’cause I’ve got some kind of gross feminine problem, but because I’m a fanatic about fresh panties in the same way I’m a fanatic about having clean teeth. I brush my teeth three times a day and change my underwear almost as often (if I’m even wearing any that day; it’s a common occurrence that I’m not), so do the math.

But you know, I always liked Kate Hudson. I really, really did. I thought she was just the height of boho-cool when she starred as Penny Lane in Almost Famous. Totally fantastic movie. And not to mention, she’s the daughter of Goldie-fucking-Hawn, who, in my book, is insurmountably epic. Ever see Overboard, the perfect Sunday afternoon movie? Yup. Enough said.

However, since her split with ex-husband Chris Robinson, she just kind of became tacky and unappealing to me. When she was married to Robinson, it was like she was married to one of the guys from Stillwater. It was such a great pairing. But then Kate and Chris separated and Kate began serial-screwing and doing crap movies like Fool’s Gold and Raising Helen. Down. Hill.

Anyway, this is definitely the guy she’s banging, now, and I guess it’ll play out like all of the rest of her short-lived flings have — sex, sex, whining, sex, and finally, the coup de grace, inevitable burnout.

Happy humping, Kate!

Jimmy Dean. As in, you know, Jimmy Dean sausages — he passed away last night (my birthday!) at his Virginia home. Dean was 81 years old.

According to Dean’s wife, the two were having dinner in the living room and after leaving the room for a moment, she returned to find her husband unresponsive.

Dean was not only “Sausage King”; he had a myriad of talents including acting, singing and television commentating. He also created and starred in The Jimmy Dean show, which, ironically enough, was not about sausage.

I like sausage. And I especially like Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage. When I was much younger, a special breakfast “treat” in my family home was a meal that consisted of Jimmy Dean sausage and hash brown potatoes. Once a week, we were allowed the decadence of sausage and potatoes after surviving an entire week’s worth of healthier meals like shredded wheat and a variety of fruits. Ugh.

To this day, when I eat my sausage and potatoes breakfast (which, now that I am older, is much, much more common), I think of Jimmy Dean in reverence. However, now, I’ll think of him with something more — an almost-demigod worship.

RIP, Jimmy. You were a good dude.

Yeah, another day, another Megan Fox story about how crazy and kooky she is, apparently. Fox sits with Interview magazine — and what a crafty name, that — and discusses (more) of her public foibles, her aversion to cooking (again) and has some pretty, uh, provocative photos taken with a mannequin that bears a striking resemblance to Fox herself. Other than the fake plastic trees tits, it’s kind of hard to tell who’s who. Frightening, actually, are the similarities.

Anyway. Here’s some handpicked pearls of wisdom from the very illustrious, very “jaded” Megan Fox. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

On the topic of staying undercover as a celebrity:

“I find that it’s easier to disguise yourself when you go to Florida or places like that, because no one is expecting to see a celebrity there. When you throw on a hat and glasses, no one really looks at you twice—because why would you be in Florida?”

On dealing with the paparazzi:

“I don’t really resent being on the red carpet as much as I do having to deal with the paparazzi. That actually makes me angry. The photographers on the red carpet—that’s their job. They’re usually pretty respectful, so I don’t mind. I mean, I’m not pretentious enough to just sit around and think about how I’m a tool for the whole Hollywood machine. But it has crossed my mind.”

Ha. Megan Fox said, “I’m a tool.”

On how she “hates” doing interviews:

“I know you can’t really put actors or celebrities into two categories, but I’m going to right now: There are the people who really, really enjoy being celebrities, and then there are the people who came by it maybe by accident. I’m one of those people who fiercely guards their privacy, so I hate doing interviews.”

On her eating habits:

“I was raised in the South, in Tennessee, so I’m going to go with comfort food, soul food. I would probably start with collard greens and candied baby carrots and then have some biscuits and white gravy—and for dessert, probably blackberry cobbler. Having been in a relationship since I was 18, I’m very domestic, but I don’t enjoy cooking for myself.”

You can read the interview in its semi-entirety here, but honestly, I’ve given you the good bits. If you really want to see something interesting, check out the pics. Guaranteed you won’t be disappointed.

Hey, so the Tony Awards happened. The Tony Awards are like the Oscars but for old people. I know what you’re thinking: “Isn’t the Oscars for old people now too?” The answer is yes. The Oscars were actually always for old people, but we didn’t understand that until they started broadcasting in HD. The Tony Awards are for older people. Older people who attend thee-ah-tah.

These people are too old to really be that mean to, except for Cate Blanchett, because she looks about mid-beamed by Scotty. But there also aren’t a lot of fashion risks, so pretty much everything is standard breath-taking. I guess I could make fun of Jada Pinkett-Smith’s dress, but, truth be told, I think she looks pretty stunning. (No, the photos aren’t labeled, because Jesus Christ do you people think I’m made of free time? but you can easily tell which one is Jada because she’s the black person at the Tonys.)*

Paula Abdul emerged from the dark, dark pillbox of her life to … I don’t know. I have no idea why she was at the Tonys. Did a Coke cup need to be pointed toward the camera?

Scarlett Johannson was a fucking goddamn knockout, showed up with husband Ryan Reynolds, and won the Tony for Best Actress in a Play. But that’s cool, yo, because Alanis Morrissette married the rapper dude who knocked her up, so, like, whatever, Scarlett, you can take your perfect goddamn life and fellate Dave Coulier with it in a movie theater.

Kristen Chenoweth: I want your dress and your voice and your shoes and your perfect, perfect eating disorder. HOW DO YOU DO IT ALL???

*I am going to get in trouble for saying this. There were other black people there, and some of them even won Tonys. Noting this earlier would not have made my joke funnier.

Here’s a photo of Jessica Alba heading out to make an appearance in Jimmy Kimmel Live! She’s wearing a gingham bustier, which blows my mind all by itself, and what looks like one-third of a more conventional shirt that happens to be covered in caterpillars.  The skirt and shoes are fine, which is smart of her – you don’t want to dress in head-to-toe preposterousness.  That would just be decadent, now wouldn’t it?