Did you guys see Miley’s performance on last night’s MMV Awards in Canada? No, I didn’t either, but I did check out a couple of recaps early this morning. And my favorite, by far, was Miley throwing caution to the wind and exposing her own vagina (is it still child pornography, Perez, if the “child” in question wears articles — or rather, non-articles — of clothing for the purpose of intentionally exposing genitals?).

Let’s do some math. Vulva measurement across: 2.3 inches. Fabric measurement for costume crotch-landing-strip: 1.5 inches. I mean really. Because, damn. Girl’s only seventeen, but seventeen doesn’t exempt you from basic math skills, for crying out loud. And also, the fact that I want to find out the name of her obviously-talented Brazilian waxer doesn’t detract at all from the creepiness that surrounds the fact that she’s totally bare.

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and be uncomfortable, while making sure that all of my bustier bodysuits have ample crotch coverage. This shit just looks painful.  And embarrassing.

Do you ever wonder what it would be like if Lady Gaga walked around kicking the celebrities asses who fuck with her? Admittedly, the thought had never crossed my mind before today, but now that I’ve seen this new sketch “Don’t F*ck With The Gaga”, it’s all I want to think about. Whoever wrote this sketch is a freakin’ genius. The Lady Gaga lines are so on point and that bro’s Russell Brand impression? Perfection.

Leona Lewis, the woman responsible for song above that single-handedly got me through my last break-up (I am so lame), has broken up with her boyfriend of ten years, Lou Al-Chamaa.

From EarthNews:

The ‘Bleeding Love’ singer and Lou – who met when they were just 10 – decided to call it quits after Leona’s busy work schedule stopped them from being able to spend any quality time together.

A friend told Britain’s Sunday Mirror newspaper: “Things have been under pressure for ages between them and they have finally realised that things are not going to be able to progress.

“Leona’s schedule means she’s in the States a lot when Lou’s in London and then when he goes out she’s over here. Then there’s the fact she’s been totally immersed in preparing for her tour. They have barely spend any time together whatsoever.”

The final straw is believed to have come on Wednesday (16.06.10) when Lou didn’t turn up to see Leona perform at London’s O2 Arena, despite living just down the road in Hackney.

Honestly, thank God for break ups. It sounds like this dude was both unsupportive and holding her back. When a relationship ends, it’s often devastating, but by the time you’ve cried it out, the feeling of freedom and relief is invaluable. I bet that if anything, we’re about to see this woman blow up bigger than ever before.

With Dina Manzo leaving the cast of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, a new housewife is going to have to take her spot. And no, it’s not someone else related to the Manzos.

It’s been informally announced that Elvira Grau will be the newest housewife on the cast and that she should be making her first appearance in tomorrow night’s episode. But count on the addition of this particular castmate to keep that drama train running full steam. Elvira, a Russian immigrant, owns two of New Jersey’s hottest entertainment venues. We caught a sneak peak of one of her businesses during Teresa’s daughter’s birthday party and the other one, Space Odyssey, is hosting Teresa’s book party tonight.

I’m not sure if this means that Elvira’s businesses are in competition with the Manzo’s Brownstone, but if it is, you KNOW Caroline’s going to wind up stabbing a bitch.

And can I just say that I’m so so so happy that they didn’t ask Kim G., Danielle’s horrible friend, to join the cast. I hate that two-faced mess.

When it comes to weddings, I’m more of a “ceremony on the beach, reception on some picnic tables and a keg for the guests” kind of girl, but man! I can never resist looking a pictures of a royal wedding. Those high-brow mother fuckers pull out all the stops.

Yesterday Princess Victoria of Sweden married her man Daniel Westling in Stockholm and everyone with a royal title came out to see the lavish ceremony. Hell, so did the non-royalty. The streets were lined with Stockholm residents waiting to catch a peek of the bride in her absolutely fabulous dress.

Enjoy these photos:

God bless crazy women with drinking problems, am I right?

Yesterday Lady Gaga smooth talked her way into the Yankee’s clubhouse after the team lost to the Mets. Even though she was practically naked in her underwear and open jersey, the singer couldn’t help but repeatedly feel herself up in front of the players and others associated with the team. While it wouldn’t exactly shock me to hear about Miss. Gaga acting lewd in public completely sober, she happened to be totally freakin’ wasted on a combo of Jameson and cheap stadium beers. That’s my girl.

Once her presence was made clear to club president Randy Levine and the Yanks’ general manager, Gaga and the girlfriend she was with were asked to leave. Forever.

A lot of people are giving LG a hard time over her frequent boozing, but I say that as long as she’s having fun, 24 years old and rich, she should be pounding down those drinks and feeling herself up all she wants. There’s nothing wrong with having too much fun.