Britney Spears seems to have been getting her act together while under her father’s conservatorship the past couple years, but US Weekly is saying that deep down, Britney’s the same old girl and she’s tired of listening to her dad. Sources say that Britney’s been reaching out to her ex-boyfriend, perhaps one of the most toxic characters we’ve seen in her posse over the years, paparazzo Adnan Ghalib. Now there’s a name I bet you didn’t think you’d see today.

From Us:

Spears’ secret chats persist in spite of a March 2009 restraining order against Ghalib, 37, and her current relationship with ex-agent Jason Trawick.What in the world do the former lovers talk about? “She says she’s not living the life she wants,” a source tells Us of the 28-year-old star, currently under dad Jamie’s conservatorship.

And despite the singer’s seemingly content life with Trawick, 38, another source says “she really wants to get back together with Adnan,” who shared private voicemails and intimate details of their romance with the press in 2008.

While part of me is saddened by this news (I was really pulling for her, you guys!), I can’t say I’m surprised. If this is true, then it proves what we’ve always kind of known about her, which is that she can’t help being country-ass Britney. She’s a little dumb and insecure, just like a lot of people are.

Insert weave joke, insert humorous use of the word “bitch,” and away we go!

Mariah Carey left her three Jack Russell terriers, ChaCha, JJ, and Dolomite, with a vet for just over a month while she went out to promote Precious.  The vet performed some “extraordinary services” then charged Mariah around $38,000.  Mariah’s only paid $8,000 of that in the six months since the dog-sitting occured, and that just will not do, so the singer is being sued for the remaining amount, plus legal fees.  Neither party is making any comments.

What “extraordinary services” make taking care of three dogs for a month cost $38,000?  Why can Mariah Carey get a fucking diamond Ring Pop but she can’t bother to pay someone to take care of her pets?  Why do I still care, even a little bit, about Mariah Carey?

Too many questions, too few answers.

Did you guys watch Jimmy Kimmel’s show last night?  If not, you probably should have.  It was an hour-long special promoting the premiere of Eclipse, and it was wonderfully titled Jimmy Kimmel Live: Twilight:  Total Eclipse of the Heart.  Jimmy asked Robert Pattinson such significant questions as “vampires would kill a shark easily, right?” (you can watch that exchange here) and “what happened to your dreamy, impossibly tousled hair?”  The interview was amazing, but Jimmy Kimmel went and outdid himself with the above video.

I never even considered the possibility of a Jersey Shore version of Twilight, but now I don’t think I can imagine my life without it.  With Snooki playing Bella and The Situation playing Edward, this epic love story is even more vivid in my mind.  Can’t you just imagine The Situation sneaking into Snooki’s room to creep on her while she sleeps or ripping into her uterus with his teeth to save her from their lovechild?

If not, that just proves that Jimmy Kimmel is ahead of his time.

Emmy Rossum, better known as the girl who stole Adam Duritz away from our very own Evil Beet, is starring in a new, up-and-coming Showtime series called Shameless.

Rossum, who I most vividly remember from The Day After Tomorrow — since, you know, it’s on the goddamned television every three days like clockwork — was most recently linked to Counting Crows frontman, Adam Duritz, and claims that she wants to get into the “artsy” side of acting. Read: her movies have pretty much bombed (with the exception of Phantom of the Opera, of course), not a lot of people know who she is, Broadway doesn’t want her and if this Showtime thing doesn’t work, Lifetime’s next on the slate. And you see what Lifetime did for Leann Rimes’ career. Ahem.

Rossum also has a very Enya-esque musical project under her proverbial belt — she’ll be taking her real one off (and much, much more) in the upcoming season of Shameless.

Oh, and just because it’s that ridiculous, I’ve embedded a video for Rossum’s “hit” song, “Falling.” And if any of you say that the song — or the video — is genuis, I’m going to go all biological warfare and bitch-slap you with Snooki’s half-eaten, herp-infested pickle.

Jessica Simpson was photographed earlier in the week at LAX looking rather harried. And unhappy. And bloated. She’s even got the heavy Britney eyelids going on. What’s the deal, Jess? Too many margaritas with your frenny-fren, Ken? Did you catch Tony in bed with John Mayer? Ashlee eat the last jelly-filled doughnut again? What, then, girl?

“I pounded the pavement for years and I know what it’s like to struggle as an actor. A lot of it is luck and, certainly, a lot of it is opportunity — and the lack of that. So, I totally understand the frustration there … A lot of my friends who are struggling actors are going through the same thing. But, I can’t apologize for it. I have worked my ass off to get to where I am so I understand that struggle. For me, it’s more about hiring the right person for the job. If somebody is cast because they are a name but they’re not right for the job, well, it’s very frustrating.”

Scarlett Johansson on her recent Tony win, and her verbal retaliation to the haters that say she can’t act her way out bags. Yes, bag plural.

But whatever. I’m behind you 100%, girl. I don’t think I’ve ever seen any other movie aside from A Love Song For Bobby Long (and I’m naturally biased, because it’s my favorite movie of all-fucking-time) that had you in it, but hey. You can probably act, just based on what I’ve seen.

And if not, you still have your gorgeous looks to fall back on.  And the fact that you’re married to Ryan Reynolds. And your deep, meaningful and super-private beach scene tattoo, which I’m still confused about.