Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Gwyneth Paltrow is Still Pretentious, Still an Asshat

photo of gwyneth paltrow laying in the sun

According to her latest newsletter on GOOP, Paltrow admits that her anti-sun forever-and-ever tactics have caught up with her. Paltrow, who’s been notoriously pale for a few years, now, has repeatedly vowed to stay out of the sun completely, since the sun’s UV rays can cause lines, wrinkles, premature aging … oh, and yeah, skin cancer, too.

However, because of her desire to avoid the sun, she was recently diagnosed with a condition related to poor Vitamin D intake. Unsurprisingly, the sun is responsible for healthy levels of Vitamin D maintenance, and the sun’s rays also help serotonin and dopamine levels to be more balanced. No wonder she’s such a miserable bitch. So, as everyone always thought, a moderate amount of sun with the right protection actually does wonders for the body. Surprise, surprise. Gwyn is now eating her words, which probably taste like purified air, essential oils, and fat-free, gluten-free, carb-free composite board:

“I suffered a pretty severe Tibial plateau fracture a few years ago (requiring surgery) which lead the orthopaedic surgeon to give me a bone scan, at which point it was discovered I had the beginning stages of osteopenia. This led my western/eastern doctors in New York to test my Vitamin D levels, which turned out to be the lowest they had ever seen (not a good thing). I went on a prescription strength level of Vitamin D and was told to … spend a bit of time in the sun! I was curious if this was safe, having been told for years to stay away from its dangerous rays, not to mention a tad bit confused as we are all well schooled in the dangers of overexposure to the sun.”

She’s the harbinger of enlightened living and she didn’t even know this? I’m no doctor, clearly, but come on. And if you really want to bring a doc into it, I’ve got just the guy for you. Dr. Frank Lipman — a physician that Paltrow actually trusts to treat her — claims:

“Numerous studies have shown that optimising your Vitamin D levels may actually help prevent as many as 16 different types of cancer including pancreatic, lung, breast, ovarian, prostate, and colon cancers. And the best way to optimise Vitamin D levels is through safe, smart and limited sunscreen-free exposure to the sun.”

So, go figure, and Happy Summer. Don’t waste it inside every day, if at all possible.

9 CommentsLeave a comment

  • does she live underground or something? All the doctors say going out “running errands” for 15 minutes is more than enough exposure for vitamin D.

  • Half hour of sun is not going to kill her. What a freak! How could she function if she wasn't a celebrity? “I can't come to work today… it's so- so- so goddamn sunny!” What a piece of work.

  • It isn't lack of sunshine, it is all of those fasts, cleanses and crazy diets of hers. She just gave herself away as being wrong about everything she preached before.

  • “Surprise, surprise. Gwyn is now eating her words, which probably taste like purified air, essential oils, and fat-free, gluten-free, carb-free composite board:”

    LOL LOL LOL !!!

  • I thought it would be interesting to hear Dr. Frank Lipman very informative (if incendiary bombs Possibly) Opinion on the benefits of the sun.
    sd card

  • She’s not pale, she’s fair skinned! Moderate exposure to the sun is beneficial! Just don’t get overexposed!