Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Paris Hilton Just Wants Some Sweet Vampire Lovin’

A photo of Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton apparently wants nothing more than to meet and/or date Robert Pattinson.  She’s taken to her Twitter to discuss his hotness, and that’s cool, but according to an insider,

“Paris is doing everything in her power to talk to Rob. She usually always gets what she wants. She gets a bee in her bonnet about someone and goes hell for leather.”

While this insider sounds a lot like my grandmother, I still think Paris needs to check herself.  Doesn’t she know about the passionate, eternal love between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart?  Did no one tell her that you can’t touch a love so pure?  They are the last great lovers, and centuries from now, children will learn not of Romeo and Juliet or Cyrano and Roxanne, but of Robert and Kristen.  So you just step back and chew on that for a minute, Paris Hilton.  You don’t belong in this legend; your destiny lies elsewhere.

4 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Her great romance destiney lies, dressed in a barely there sea shell bikini on a deserted BP oil splattered beach with greasy bear, dead fish and bloated wild life, in a rickety cabana… stoned out of their minds just as the most powerful of all hurricane of all huricanes is homing in on them, because she heard all the major TV cameras would be in that spot to film that day.

  • Dammit, that grandmother line had me laughing in my office. Stop making me look crazy at work!

  • They are the last great fans, and centuries from now, children will learn not from Romeo and Juliet and Cyrano and Roxanne, but Robert and Kristen. Then you just go back and chew for a minute, Paris Hilton. You do not belong to this legend, your destiny lies elsewhere.
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