Kristen Stewart is currently talking to some producers and directors about the possibility of doing some theatre on London’s West End after her whole Twilight business is wrapped up. She hasn’t decided what play she wants to be in yet, but the producers have given her some plays to peruse. I had trepidations about this whole affair, but then I read this illuminating quote she made to Vogue:
“Unlike movie acting, you have to deliver the whole performance there and then. You live it every night.”
And now I’m completely disgusted.
This is the same issue I had with that Jonas Brother in Les Mis. I don’t care if someone started doing theatre when he was in the fucking womb and spent his infant years doing small regional theatre gigs before being the Phantom of the Opera on Broadway at the tender age of five, the minute you become someone who makes hoards of preteens obsess over you, stay out of theatre*. You’re just going to make people who actually want to see a play pissed off because a large portion of the audience would scream when you try try to heart-wrenchingly sing “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables,” Nick Jonas.
But Kristen Stewart in a play is so much worse than Nick Jonas in a play. Because I know that Kristen Stewart can’t act. Not even a little bit.
*By the way, it was cool when Daniel Radcliffe did this in Equus because there weren’t tons of parents willing to take their impressionable young daughters to see some dude getting all naked and horny over a horse.