Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Kristen Stewart Is Planning Her Stage Debut While I Plan On Giving Up On Humanity

A photo of Kristen Stewart at the MTV Movie Awards

Kristen Stewart is currently talking to some producers and directors about the possibility of doing some theatre on London’s West End after her whole Twilight business is wrapped up.  She hasn’t decided what play she wants to be in yet, but the producers have given her some plays to peruse.  I had trepidations about this whole affair, but then I read this illuminating quote she made to Vogue:

“Unlike movie acting, you have to deliver the whole performance there and then. You live it every night.”

And now I’m completely disgusted.

This is the same issue I had with that Jonas Brother in Les Mis. I don’t care if someone started doing theatre when he was in the fucking womb and spent his infant years doing small regional theatre gigs before being the Phantom of the Opera on Broadway at the tender age of five, the minute you become someone who makes hoards of preteens obsess over you, stay out of theatre*.  You’re just going to make people who actually want to see a play pissed off because a large portion of the audience would scream when you try try to heart-wrenchingly sing “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables,” Nick Jonas.

But Kristen Stewart in a play is so much worse than Nick Jonas in a play.  Because I know that Kristen Stewart can’t act.  Not even a little bit.

*By the way, it was cool when Daniel Radcliffe did this in Equus because there weren’t tons of parents willing to take their impressionable young daughters to see some dude getting all naked and horny over a horse.

18 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I don't see what the problem is with getting more people involved with actual theatre. Yeah, their original motives for seeing a production might be tainted, but if they grow to love and appreciate theatre, then what's so terrible about that?

  • You. are. a. biased. idiot.

    Just because YOU like Daniel Radcliffe and NOT nick jonas/kristen stewart doesnt make it okay for one person and not the other. Get your logic straight and then we'd have a debate.

  • Yes, I'm sure you know better than the casting directors, theater producers, and actors, what everyone should and should not be doing. Everything on this site is getting so ridiculously biased and opinionated, it's not even funny, just bitchy and sour-grapey. Take your Midol and get this site back on track.

  • Oh my Goooood!! Who the fuck hired this girl? This website is not fun anymoore!! Plus, there are good chances EBD and GL are not coming I'm out of here!

  • …she had clear logic. Nothing stopping little Jobro/Twilight fans from buying theater tickets and screeching through shows. Harry Potter fans, however (the screechiest fans, really) tend to be under 18 and are therefore quite literally cockblocked from the same retarded reaction.

  • Yeah, and wtf is with all the sextape stillshots to the right of the page? I cant stand the horny look on Kendra's face anymore.

  • don't understand the hate — i think it's great that she wants to try theater — I wish her luck.

    Also, you're not supposed to talk, use your cell, etc in a theater — if someone did make a lot of noise, i bet they would be kicked out.

  • Theater seems like much harder work that movies or TV (not that movie/tv actors don't work long hours, blah, blah). Also I would think an actor would do it more for the enjoyment of acting as opposed to money or fame-whoring. I say, good for her.

    And yes, this site has gone down hill horribly since I started reading it a couple of years ago.

  • Isn't the reason we read gossip blogs for the bias and opinion? I mean, it's not like anything celebrities do is really interesting without it.

  • Actually Emily, Kristen was very good in Panic Room. She was in a diabetic coma for most of it, so then again…

  • On the positive side, she might learn to act. The Brits actually know from good acting and she might be well directed. And she might learn to speak audibly and fluently.

    Plus I think the serious screaming is for men, not women. So as long as Rob Pattinson sneaks in after the show starts and sneaks out before intermission, the place might be quiet enough to hear her speak.

  • I agree with everyone's comments, this is ridiculous. This site has gone downhill like south park- it used to have a good mix of humour and normal gossip bitchiness, but now it's purely whimsical dogmatic opinion dotted with the words “girlfriend” “fuck” and “homegirl”, which in my opinion add nothing to the content.
    Theatre isn't supposed to be a sombre, serious, highbrow version of film. Theatre used to be the only place to go out and be entertained- comedy was born in theatre, and it wasn't all monocles and stuffy old rich couples up on balconies. Before there were movie stars, there were famous actors and they had fans too! Theatres are well able to keep the riff raff out if they want to, and you can always avoid going to that particular play if you prefer some peace and quiet. Can anyone suggest a good gossip site that actually makes you think/laugh/feel entertained instead of just reacting to bigotry and stupidity?

  • A LOT of fans are over 18 now, but the vast majority is still under 18, most probably because people who started loving HP in 1998 are now encouraging their children to love it as well. :)

  • As a professional theatre producer, I say bring these tween idols into the theatre. As was commented on in an earlier post, theatre has now become entertainment 'for old people'. We need the young demographic to become interested in theatre, or the practice will continue to struggle, and potentially cease. If it takes some apathetic whining actors to bring the kids to the stage, so be it.