Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Fine, Tom Cruise Won Me Over

I have been calling Tom Cruise crazy for years. It’s like my favorite thing to do. Pre-Oprah couch-jumping, I was really into learning about Scientology and that’s what really got me on the “Tom Cruise is mental” train. And then you know how sometimes you think that someone’s mental for so long that you forget that they’re talented? And when you’re watching them in movies you’re like, “Yeah, cool story, Banana Brains. I seen you jumping on couches and you ruined that girl from Dawson’s”? And so you know when you’re there with someone and you think you’re never going to go back and then they put something out there that blows your mind and you’re just like, “Fuck your craziness! Actually, I want to marry your craziness! I’d get crazy with your talented ass for days, boy!”

That’s how I feel about Tom Cruise playing his alter ego, Les Grossman, in these MTV Promos. I talked about it yesterday, but this new Risky Business one is what helped me work through these feelings and come out on the other side with a whole thought.

I got lost in his crazy, guys. That’s all. It’s fine if he believes in aliens and won’t let his wife talk during birth and he’s basically at the head of a pyramid scheme that’s ruined hundreds of thousands of lives. So the fuck what? I can still laugh!

8 CommentsLeave a comment

  • no matter how crazy he gets, i always regain a temporary crush on him whilst watching risky business.

    • You English can go suck it. Thanks for the Gulf of Mexico disaster and tell Paul MaCartney to butt out.

  • Tom Cruise is awesome, like it or not. He totally won me over after Tropic Thunder, and I didn’t know it was him until the end, I had no idea!

  • Yeah, TC is a total whack job but he’s still gorgeous! Those Movie Award spots were hilarious, especially the Rob Pattinson one. I’m just curious about evilbeetdouche’s response. What do the English have to do with anything? Regardless of BP, what’s not to like about the Brits? The accent, the manners, their whole country… *sigh*

    • My response was triggered by the use of the word “whilst” by the Get doucher.

      The English have bad teeth, smell like gin and curry, have let their country turn into a third world shit hole. Can’t match a fuckin’ tie and shirt to save their lives. Geo. Washington and Old Hickory had to kill them by the thousands to keep us from having to call some overrated movie actor cunt “Sir.” They totally fucked up the Middle East, enslaved the Chinese with opium (the world will never stop paying for that), produce lousy beer and worse food.

      The only positive I can think of at the moment is that Henry VIII did kill off a fair lot of Jacobites.

  • not sure if you were joking, but grossman is not based on an alter ego. it was speculated that cruise based this character on sumner redstone (the head of paramount who fired Tom Cruise after Tom started jumping on couches and scaring people). and the look of the character is based on the producer for tropic thunder – Stuart Cornfeld. bitches.

    • these people use alter ego as a synonym for “character”, it’s stupid, but they do the same to Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana. They put it like the people have a double personality, when in fact they’re called actors and they act like other people for a living -_-