And it’s a good time to admit it, since “insiders” claim that Sheen allegedly relinquished his parental rights (and joint custody) of Sam and Lola, the two children who were birthed by ex-wife Denise Richards.

The two were said to sign an official agreement a couple of weeks ago, but didn’t want to go public with it until it hit the courts for finalization.

Denise will now have full and complete custody of the couple’s children and will begin receiving upwards of $125k a month. Better get back to filming more of your “hit show,” Two and a Half Men, Charlie. You can’t live off your Hot Shots! fame forever, you know.

Boy, Charlie. You must really hate being a dad if you’re willing to almost triple your support payments to a woman you detest in order to have the kids off your back.

PS:  You’re looking more and more like crazy thin-lipped Corey Feldman every damned day, Sheen.  Get a grip.

What can I say? I freakin’ love this girl. I even love that she’s a goddamn bird in her new video. I dig it, Milers.

Earlier this year Elton John caused some waves when he told Parade Magazine, “I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems. On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don’t know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East — you’re as good as dead.”  That statement was certainly controversial and the backlash has been all the intolerant bullshit that you’d expect. The police even arrested one Georgia man who exposed his plot to have Elton murdered on YouTube. All of that made today’s news that Elton is now banned from playing in Egypt that much less of a surprise.

Elton was set to play a show there on May 18th, but it was cancelled after Mounir al-Wasimi, the head of Egypt’s Musician Union released a statement saying that he cold not allow “A homosexual who wants to ban religions, claimed that the prophet Issa (Jesus) was gay and calls for Middle Eastern countries to allow gays to have sexual freedom” on his turf. That’s lovely, huh? And it certainly disproves Elton’s claim that gay women in the Middle East may as well be dead!

Whenever anyone makes a statement about homosexuality and religion on any side of the issue, there’s going to be backlash from everyone else who believes differently. Sometimes it’s hard to imagine that there are still people in the world who hold extreme grudges against those who live differently from them, but it’s stories like this that remind us that people are still fighting for equality. Hell, they’re still fighting for freedom of speech! These issues are sadly so far from resolved.

OK, so we don’t exactly have another Tiger, Jesse or David situation on our hands, but the paparazzi definitely caught some shots of Joe Jonas making out with his co-star Chelsea Staub for his Disney Channel show, Jonas. I wouldn’t get worked up about it, though. Hollywood Power Couple Jemi is still going strong. Just last night those two crazy kids were out getting cheesecake together.

If so, God … this could be the best thing that’s ever happened to Reeves‘ career! You go, boy!

The folks at TMZ caught quite a lip-lock gropefest that occurred between the two after dinner together last night in Beverly Hills. I just can’t imagine this not being real, especially if someone like the A-listed Theron was willing to appear groping and nuzzling the likes of Keanu Reeves in public while rocking back and forth like tenth-grade sweethearts. In Beverly Hills, of all places.

If y’all want to lead such private lives, you better keep it in your pants in public, man. Those TMZ bastards are fucking everywhere.

Vid courtesy of TMZ

Sorry to piss on your parade, but I’ve always said it’s better to be pissed off about something than pissed on because Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller can’t act their way out of a velvet haute couture bag.

Actually, I’m a big fan of both Wilson and Stiller, but I thought Zoolander was complete crap. All of that stupid “blue steel” business and kissy-facing … It was just brutal. And while I didn’t even think that the original would do as well as say, a sequel, it was evidently on the menu to be served up like the steaming pile of shit that it probably would have been anyway.

Ben Stiller has come forth on his Twitter, all but nixing the entire idea of a sequel:

Ron Burgundy and Derek Zoolander looking to appear in sequels. Both men destitute, without means or intellect to fund their own comebacks.

It’s alright, Ben. You’re still married to the super-hot Christine Taylor. And Owen … well, hell. You’ll always have Wedding Crashers and Vince Vaughn.