“I’m not saying everything’s okay. I’m still angry. I’m still mad. I am still hurt. It took a crisis, it took infidelity to get us off our asses and work for what we want. We do the best we can. That’s all we can do. What’s working for us [is] taking our time, moment to moment, day to day.”

-David Boreanaz’s wife, Jaime Bergman, to People on her husband’s infidelity.

Throughout all of these recent cheating scandals, most of the wives have been quiet about husband’s misdoings, so I have to say that I appreciate Jaime making a statement about where they are as a couple. With so much room for speculation, it’s nice that both members of a couple that are trying to work through infidelity have made public statements. Not only does it probably feel good for Jaime to get her side out there, but I feel a little bit better knowing that no one’s twisting her arm to make it work with him. It actually, in my opinion anyway, sheds a little bit of hope on the situation after hearing her side.

Rachel Uchitel, you’ll remember, was the “first” Tiger Woods mistress to emerge from the woodwork. She was also linked to David Boreanaz (current admitted cheater) in the past, claiming that she lured him away from his wife and boned the Bones actor.

She’s arrived in LA (sans her attorney, Gloria Allred) to clear her name — or rather, what’s left of it. Uchitel states that she was not the one looking to extort money from Boreanaz, who recently spoke of marital infidelity and mistress blackmail. Uchitel was spotted leaving LA amateur hotspot, Chateau Marmont, with a friend, looking to be in high spirits.

Rachel’s looking well these days. In the sense that you can barely see her features beyond her eyes and teeth due to her amazing spray tan. Hasn’t she seen Jersey Shore? Doesn’t she know how blurred your features can become under the influence of liquid gold orange?

Jesse James #1 skank did an interview with Howard Stern yesterday and confirmed what everyone thought to begin with: James was not hooking up with this woman for her shining personality and witty intellect. And clearly, not for her stellar physique, either, so I don’t know what the fuck to think. I’m just positively baffled.

Anyway, McGee sat for the lurid talk radio host yesterday and answered all of the questions about sex with the Vanilla Gorilla that you were just dying to know:

On Sandra Bullock:

“I feel bad for her, I do… [But] They slept with 9 dogs in the bed … she liked to sleep with all the dogs in the bed.”

On what Bombshell “knew” about Jesse’s marriage:

“We watched her on TV one time,” she said. “[James] said they were separated, so I believed him.”

On why she fucked a married man:

“Boredom… Had nothing better to do. It was a sexual thing… I also wished it was a relationship — but I wasn’t in love with him. I was like, ‘Let’s go do something! Let’s go get food!’ He was always like ‘Shh!..Can’t go out in public, just be patient, just give it time, stuff like that.’”

On the frequency of their gross sex:

“Two to three, four times a night, two times a week,” often on James’ coffin-shaped couch [at his shop].”

On the sex itself:

“Yeah, it wasn’t excellent.”

On never dating black men:

“I’ve dated other races, just not a black guy. I’m not against it. I make a horrible racist Nazi. I have too many colored friends.”

On the skinny of whether or not James is a white supremacist:

“No, not very white supremacist. No. No, more like white pride stuff.”

So, yeah, let’s recap. McGee’s obviously an attention-seeking sex “addict” with no remorse for helping to break up a marriage. She’s got white supremacist ties and pretends it’s “white pride,” however the fuck different that’s supposed to be. Bombshell has no shame in talking about her sex life and continues to do so even though people only want to hear the details because it’s like watching the aftermath of a car accident. You can barely tear your eyes away, but not in a good way — in a way that you know is going to haunt you for the rest of your life.

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go take a hot bleach shower and try to scrub the chum from my eyes and brain that Bombshell’s comments have left imprinted on my soul. I’m definitely going to hell now.

If you don’t know who he is, he’s the former Hall of Fame Giants football player that recently played a role on Dancing With the Stars. He’s also the number one NFL player that you probably think of when you hear the terms “crack” and “hit and run.”

Now, Taylor can add “rape” and “battery” to his repertoire of bad behavior. The football star was arrested in New York last night on allegations of rape. According to the fifteen year-old victim, Taylor beat and raped her and is now facing third-degree rape charges. Law enforcement states that Taylor will be arraigned this afternoon.

What’s up with these sports stars that think they can get away with such heinous crimes? Are they pigeon-holed and targeted because they’re sports heroes (allegedly like the charges brought forth against Ben Roethlisberger) or are their heads so swelled that they think it’s okay, and that their victims are merely elated to even be in the presence of such “greatness”?

Can’t you tell just by the ear-to-ear shit-eating grin?

Your girl Kristen Stewart appeared for the first time as the cover model on the June issue of Elle and while girlfriend looks moderately happy about it, she still looks uncomfortable as all holy hell. Stewart dishes on a little bit of everything during her interview with the mag and covers topics like privacy, acting, romance and her signature awkwardness. Natch.

On the madness that has become her life:

“It’s insane! Once somebody finds out, you have to get the hell out of wherever you are. People freak out. And the photographers, they’re vicious. They’re mean. They’re like thugs. I don’t event want to drive around by myself anymore. It’s fucking dangerous.”

On her loss of privacy:

“Somebody knocked on my hotel room door and asked for a light, then said that they were a big fan. I was like, ‘Do you really need me to light your cigarette? How do you know what room I’m in?’ I can’t be by myself and I like being by myself.”

On criticism of her public manner:

“I think it’s funny that when I go onstage to accept an award, they think I’m nervous, uncomfortable, and awkward—and I am—but those are bad words for them.”

On her red-carpet demeanor:

“People say that I’m miserable all the time. It’s not that I’m miserable, it’s just that somebody’s yelling at me…I literally, sometimes, have to keep myself from crying…It’s a physical reaction to the energy that’s thrown at you.”

On Team Edward vs. Team Jacob:

“I would never cheapen my relationships by talking about them. People say, ‘Just say who you’re dating. Then people will stop being so ravenous about it.’ It’s like, No they won’t! They’ll ask for specifics.”

On caring:

“I hate it when they say I don’t give a shit, because nobody cares more than I do. I’m telling you I don’t know anybody who does this that gives a shit more than I do.”

Now what, haters? Stewart finally speaks out about her put-upon sense of awkwardness (duh, it’s real!) and tells people, contrary to popular belief, she actually does give a fuck even though she pulls that “not-giving-a-fuck” thing off so damned well. Now if she’d only viscerally admit to boinking Robert Pattinson, my life might be complete.

Like, to take it seriously enough that they’re sending death threats to Kardashian?

God, I haven’t even had breakfast yet this morning, but I think I’m going to throw something up. Honestly.

Rumors are obviously going ’round regarding the young Justin Bieber and the, uh, “worldly” Kim Kardashian and people are saying that the two are shacking up — naturally, because Bieber claimed that K was his “ideal woman,” and the two ended up later meeting at a White House Correspondents’ dinner. Bieber fans were in an uproar when their demigod posted a photo of himself and Kim on his Twitter, calling her his “girlfriend.” Kardashian did nothing to squash the ridiculous rumors when she tweeted that she, too, has “Bieber-fever.”

Fucking gag me.

Kardashian claimed to have received numerous threats and nasty messages from die-hard Bieber fans wishing death upon the big-bootied celebutante and went running to her boyfriend Bieber to call the dogs off. Bieber addressed his hoards of fans via — where else — Twitter:

“Ladies calm down. Kim Kardashian is a friend. A very sexy friend but a friend. No need 4 threats. Let’s all be friends and hang out often.”

Get with it, stupid pre-pubescent girls of the world. Kim Kardashian only dates hot, jacked black dudes. I think your skinny, whiny-assed Bieber’s safe. For now.