Here’s an officially-unofficial leak of the Lohan’s new single, “Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop.” And I, for one, am positive that it’s referring to her cracked-out, coke-blowing, “shoe-powdering” ways.

Oh, that and loving some dude.

Thoughts?

Tom Cruise and Katile Holmes Sing and Dance – The best free videos are right here

You have no idea the lengths I went to in order to procure this video. It’s been “removed” everywhere on YouTube (Scientology seems to frown upon frivolity) and it probably won’t be too long before The (Scientology) Man finds out that we’ve worked the system and posted an “illegal” and highly embarrassing video.

Anyway, the video presents Katie Holmes’ rendition of “Whatever Lola Wants,” and it would have been pretty okay if husband Tom didn’t force her to include him in the performance, which was intended for A Fine Romance Benefit at 20th Century Fox, held earlier in the week.

The singing’s not that great (although it was fortuitously better than what I expected), but Tom’s “I’m not at all gay” performance really kind of ruined the entire thing for me and probably everyone in attendance.

The raucous applause at the end? Because the uncomfortable, skin-crawling performance, not unlike watching one of your parents slip the other the tongue, was over.

According to Star magazine, Jen’s long-time friend and yoga instructor, Mandy Ingber, is moving on up and into the star’s Beverly Hills home:

Jen has invited Mandy to move into her mansion back home in Beverly Hills, Star has learned exclusively.

After several failed relationships with men and with no new prospects on the horizon, Jen’s ready to make a change. “I think she thought, living with men hasn’t worked out for her in the past, so why not try a close friend?” says an insider. “Jen’s been wanting companionship.”…

Finally she asked 42-year-old Mandy, who is also single, to share her Zen-inspired home. She and Jen spend loads of time together as it is – not only do they hang out as friends, but Mandy also regularly travels with Jen on film shoots and vacations to guide her daily yoga session. “Jen offered Mandy a bedroom with her own bathroom,” says another insider. “She sees her as a friend, a sister, a confidante. Jen has cried on Mandy’s shoulder a lot of the years, so she would do anything for her. Jen trusts Mandy implicitly.”

And Mandy certainly doesn’t mind the perks of living with the A-listers. “She loves it there because there’s a staff to take care of everything, like buying groceries and doing the laundry. It’s like a hotel,” adds the insider.

Now, yeah … Star‘s just not hugely reputable when reporting news stories, but this one isn’t too far a reach, I suppose. Even though Jen’s rep has denied that Mandy’s moving in, you never do know. Remember when Tiger’s camp stated that there was no truth to cheating allegations?  Yeah.  

Well, maybe Jen’s reaching across the aisle because of all of the bad luck that’s followed her after dating a slew of male players. Maybe she’s found love (again). Maybe she’s just lonely. Maybe this woman’s her true best friend. Moreover, maybe she’s having a hard time paying the bills, but in spite of the fact that I can’t get myself to watch any of her sappy love-story movies, I kind of doubt that.

Either way, congrats to Ms. Aniston on finally having some stable loyalty in your life. Lord knows there’s nothing more stable (or, uh … flexible) than a yoga instructor. You go, girl!

The Olsen twins’ shared home at One Morton Square is up for grabs, but the girls just can’t seem to dump it. The house was originally up for sale in 2005 and put it on the market for a cool $9.45 mil. Though some said the economy was booming at that point, no one wanted it. So they raised the purchase price. For some reason. They listed it at $11 mil. Now it’s on sale for a cool $8 mil. Savvy businesswomen these chicks are.

I would have been interested in setting down roots myself at One Morton Square, but after finding out that Justin Bartha never paraded around the home with his wang out (the Olsens never lived at the pad), I’m totally retracting my bid.

Evidently her bitch-from-hell stage persona transcends into her daily personal life. Or at least did, according to what she tells Cosmopolitan in a recent interview.

Pink, uh, graced June’s Cosmo cover and spoke with writers regarding her life, marriage and reconciliation with husband Carey Hart. The pop star claimed that one of the main reasons behind their breakups had to do with Pink’s love for running her mouth:

“I’m so dramatic … and in the past, I’ve been really mean … Carey sat me down one day when we were fighting and said, ‘Baby, when you call me names, it hurts my feelings. Please try to stop.’ And I was like ‘Wow, thank you for telling me how you feel.’ Now I fight fair.”

So, yeah. If Hart’s friends didn’t think he was pussy-whipped before, they sure do now. “Baby, please don’t call me names — yer puttin’ a good li’l hurt on me deep inside ma heart.” Ugh. Great way to publicly build a life-partner’s morale and really cultivate their bad-boy reputation. And what’s worse is that this “dramatic” dumbass didn’t know better than to avoid calling someone names. What, are you fucking twelve? Please.

I kind of always liked Pink because she did whatever the hell she wanted and truly epitomized “not giving a fuck,” unlike some other stars, and I thought she was totally cool for it. Yeah, she had some mediocre music, but her over-the-top personality traits kind of made up for where her music lacked. But, damn. I just can’t respect or dig a person who intentionally goes out of their way to rip someone down that they claim to love and cherish, just ’cause they’re “dramatic.” If you haven’t yet already, Pink, grow the fuck up.

Just when you think your life blows, there’s Tila Tequila to offer a bit of perspective, am I right? I thought my Cinco de Mayo was poorly spent at a dive bar being repeatedly poked in the head by sombrero wearing college students from the OC who had no business being in Silverlake until I saw the photos of this Tila Tequila-hosted shitshow. Good Lord! Can you imagine flying to Vegas to celebrate a drinking holiday only to wind up in a room with several hundred Jersey Shore casting pool rejects and this whackjob singing on the speakers? Disaster. And how is Tila Tequila still locking down major hosting/performing gigs?

Regardless, I think her hair looks kind of cute…