Claudia Schiffer joins Britney Spears and Demi Moore on the list of totally hot women who posed nude for magazine covers while preggo. The June cover of Vogue Germany features a totally nude and totally pregnant former supermodel. Hey! There’s gotta be an audience for that.

Claudia talked to Vogue about how her lifestyle has changed since transforming to a professionally ridiculously beautiful woman to a mother who just happens to be a ridiculously beautiful woman. One of the major changes? Being a mom means she doesn’t have to keep up with the anal-retentive dieting habits of a fashion model. Claudia said, “I love being pregnant. You can do whatever you want. You don’t feel guilty, because I used to feel guilty about having a day off. And, you know, something really strange happened to me. Before my pregnancies, I was someone who had to watch their weight. I had a personal trainer, I was working out, I would never eat anything sweet. Anyway, I got pregnant and when I was breastfeeding it just came off. I can eat whatever I want. If I don’t eat enough, I will lose weight.”

You hear that, women of the world who are tired of working and dieting? Have kids. Lots of them. And then still look better than the rest of the world when you take your clothes off. It worked for Claudia Schiffer!

Kendra Wilkinson takes two and three at a time … and I don’t mean meds. [Celebslam]

Scarlett Johansson does a shoot for V magazine and she might just turn me lesbian because of it. [popbytes]

What the fuck is going on with Robert Pattinson’s hair? Okay, I said it now, are you happy? [Pajiba]

Miley Cyrus has no problem acting like a ho in front of her Ma Dukes. [Celebitchy]

Marilyn Monroe set the standard for almost-nudie pics way back in the day, sister. [Zelda Lily]

Alicia Keys looks an uncanny amount like Lena Horne. RIP, Lena. [Amy Grindhouse]

The Lohan sisters look like they’re in 1985. 1985 K-Mart, that is. [CityRag]

Lil Wayne sending Mother’s Day condolences wishes from prison. [Pop on the Pop]

NSFW: If I looked like this dude from the waist down (uh, if I were a dude), I sure wouldn’t be letting the photographs circulate. [OMG Blog]

Barbara Walters to have heart surgery. [Celebrity Smack Blog]

I’ve always been a fan of Meg Ryan and all of her cheesy, rom-com movies, so I’m most displeased to say that the purpose of this entire post is to make fun of her lazy nipples.

Girlfriend was photographed out and about in NYC this past weekend looking a little worse for the wear. Even though she was said to have undergone some really bad plastic surgery, she’s not looking, say, as bad as Jocelyn Wildenstein or worse, Heidi Montag. She’s an aging Hollywood actress that probably feels past her prime but is handling it in the best way she can — using her wandering nipples to detract from her face.

So, in short, Meg, all of that money that you dumped into your face would have been better directed a little bit lower … they do have these things called “breast lifts,” you know. Or even better yet, “bras.”

If you do, his new documentary is surely for you.

Remember that whole thing where Phoenix decided to be a, uh, rapper? That whole “Bye! Good” thing? Turns out that it was a farce … but instead of finding that kind of disturbing, the contents of the documentary claiming that the rapper to be real is supposedly far, far worse. The LA Times has the lowdown on the off-kilter star’s self-imposed downward spiral and they’re wondering (among many others) if the entire thing still remains to be a joke:

It’s far from the Joaquin Phoenix you’re used to seeing onscreen: snorting cocaine, ordering call girls, having oral sex with a publicist, treating his assistants abusively and rapping badly. And not, apparently, playing a role — or was he?

Agents at William Morris Endeavor, the sellers of the Casey Affleck-directed film, have started showing the movie to potential distributors, and while some were apparently interested in bidding for “I’m Still Here’s” distribution rights, the shoppers left the screening perhaps even more mystified by Phoenix’s behavior than when they walked in.

Several buyers said the film overflowed with Hollywood debauchery, including more male frontal nudity than you’d find in some gay porn films and a stomach-turning sequence in which someone feuding with Phoenix defecates on the actor while he’s asleep.

The documentary — or is it a mockumentary? — also includes Phoenix’s infamous appearance on “The Late Show With David Letterman,” in which the bearded and bloated actor barely spoke, leaving Letterman bewildered if not infuriated and people wondering about Phoenix’s mental health.

Two buyers who saw the movie were unsure if Phoenix had turned out an elaborate piece of performance art, where the joke was really on the audience. While they were debating the film’s commercial prospects, the buyers did agree on one thing: They’d never seen anything like it.

So … is Phoenix totally brillz or is he just kind of losing his, excuse the pun, shit, piece by piece?

Check out Joaquin’s all-time best performance below.

Glad to say that I definitely saw this coming; I definitely didn’t think I was the only one to think Katy Perry was positively bangin’!

Maxim unveiled their 2010 Hot 100 list on their site today and my girl Katy topped the charts at number one. The top ten consisted of Perry, Elisabetta Canalis, Kim Kardashian, Rihanna, Megan Fox, Marisa Miller, Brooklyn Decker, Olivia Munn, Blake Lively and Zoe Saldana.

However, I think last year’s list was marginally better, featuring women of the likes of Jordana Brewster, Rihanna, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Adriana Lima, Eliza Dushku, Mila Kunis, Malin Akerman, Bar Refaeli, Megan Fox and Olivia Wilde.

What do you guys think? Do they have it spot-on this year or are you kind of cringing?

So I guess ever dating Gwyneth Paltrow is totally out of the question.

Jake dishes on his upcoming movie, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, and the film’s use of ostriches to enhance the film’s ambiance. Gyllenhaal states:

“They would say, ‘Don’t make any noise around the ostriches. They’ll tear out your eyes and rip out your heart.’ So, I was naturally terrified … They look like they’re innocent, but they’re really not.”

Prince of Persia is based on the video game of the same name and follows a prince (Gyllenhaal) on his quest to prevent worldwide doom in a scantily-clad kind of way, similar to almost every other fantasy/action movie. On the whole, it sounds alright, but I think it’s going to be one of those movies I happen to see accidentally, rather than making the conscious effort to get in my car, drive seven miles to the nearest theater and pay ten bucks to see a movie that features a shirtless Jake Gyllenhaal … ’cause it’s Gyllenhaal shirtless or not.

The moral of the story? Keep the hell away from ostriches (and Gwyneth Paltrow) at all costs.