Taylor throws her hotel’s food prep practices under the bus, drops the “shit” bomb on early-morning television, clears her throat a lot and blinks a whole shitload during her interview with Britain’s This Morning.

I guess I have to give her more credit than I have in the past … I mean, she’s not so drug-addled (yet) that she can’t string a coherent sentence together; she’s actually kind of well-spoken and bright, but I have a feeling she’s going to grate on my nerves for many years to come. The girl’s not stupid and she knows what she wants to do in life, but she tries so fucking hard. Yeah, she’s sixteen, but come on. “Pretentious asshole” knows no age. She’d probably be a real big pain in the ass to be friends with or worse, have in your family.

Welcome to Taylor Momsen’s world … hardcore warbling and dressing like it’s a New York City nightclub appearance even during sunny morning shows.

These two ever-classy ladies got into a big blowout at the ever-classy Chateau Marmont, according to the New York Post, who had one of their minions there to witness the social meltdown of two women who love chipped black nail polish and shitty-looking weaves.

It all went down after the two eyed one another and Lavigne had the audacity to call a duck a duck: listeners said that the “Sk8er Boi” singer called the, uh, drug-addicted former actress a “loser.” Lohan supposedly flipped shit and the two went at it like the upstanding Hollywood staples that they are:

“Avril was at a table with friends just over a week ago including her boyfriend, Brody Jenner, when Lindsay came over to say hi. But as soon as she approached, Avril launched at her and said: ‘Get the hell out of my face, you are fake, you are a loser. I don’t like false people. Stay away from me and my friends.’ Lindsay was furious and screamed back: ‘Don’t threaten me!’ She then stormed off to security and tried to get them to kick Avril out. They refused to force Avril to leave. Lindsay eventually stormed off … It seemed like she was just being friendly to Avril because she was with people Lindsay wanted to impress. Avril is avoiding going to the Chateau Marmont when she knows Linsday will be there. She doesn’t want any more drama.”

Avril doesn’t want any more drama. That’s like saying Heidi Montag doesn’t want more plastic surgery or Paris Hilton doesn’t want to be the butt of any more herpes jokes. People like Avril thrive on drama … taking it away would be like what losing a child is like to some people.

But you know what? You’re not going to hear a lot of hate from me about it. I think (although it’s evident that she’s put on a few pounds) that she still looks great. I love when celebrities put on noticeable weight and they’re still okay with it. They don’t go and hide in the Hollywood Hills homes with a hoard of Ex-Lax, razorblades and cocaine. They accept it, flaunt it and change it — if they want.

Although yeah, she’s not the tiny, fat-free person that she used to be, she’s still totally hot in my book and I don’t care whether she takes the weight off or not.

Check out after and before photos of Jack Bauer’s daughter Elisha in the gallery.

And not a moment too soon, as far as I’m concerned.

Things seemed kind of suspect when the Sweden-born Nordegren moved back to her roots and took the couple’s children with them, but hey. Couples take extended vacations, uh, apart and with their children all of the time, right? Then Tiger pulls out of the Playas Player’s Championship citing a herniated disk in his neck. I thought the retraction from the Championship was definitely a little off, and now I think I know why.

Sources close to the couple confirm that Tiger and Elin are, indeed, splitting — for real and for good this time. The source claims that although the couple tried to reconcile, shit’s just not happening:

“She tried to put things back together … She went to therapy with Tiger. She gave it a shot moving forward.”

But because she just couldn’t put the past behind her (and I don’t blame you one fucking bit, girl), she started her life anew. The insider claims that the two are on cordial speaking terms, but there’s no chance in sight for reconciliation or keepin’ it together for the kids.

While Elin currently visits Sweden with her children, the insider maintains that Elin does want Tiger to “co-parent” their children, which probably means that he’ll get some kind of visitation rights. At some point. Who knows.

Sucks to be you, Tiger. But hey … you lay down with whores dogs, you get STDs fleas and then fucking no one wants your shit.

Remember 1985′s Fright Night with Chris Sarandon and the annoying-assed neighbor from Married With Children? The chick that played “Marcy.” … Amanda Bearse, right. Well, it looks like even the most obscure of horror movies don’t escape the curse of the Hollywood remake; reps for Colin Farrell have confirmed that he’ll be starring in the reboot, filling the place of the vampire’s shoes, originally played by Sarandon.

Congrats, Colin!

I mean, it’s no Phone Booth or anything, but hey. Fright Night. Everybody’s into the remakes these days. Good on you.

Alexis Neiers, one of the young woman associated with the Burglar Bunch, was sentenced to 180 days in prison this morning after pleading “no contest”. She also will be on probation for the next three years. Today’s case was specifically linked to the burglary of actor Orlando Bloom’s home, where Alexis and her friends ripped off over $600,000 worth of merchandise.

Thankfully Alexis is being held accountable for her actions. Immediately after the story of several Valley teens breaking into celebrity homes to steal their clothing in accessories broke, E! rewarded Alexis by giving her her own show. Just a month ago Alexis and her sister were out and up to their old tricks and I asked if it was reasonable on any level to promote this kind of behavior. Well, I’m glad at least one LA court agrees that it’s not.

Alexis is ordered to surrender herself by June 24th, so let’s hope they finish filming Pretty Wild by then.