This totally looks like something that I wore to my eighth-grade dance. Or maybe did wear to my eighth-grade dance, somehow got donated to a high-end Hollywood Salvation Army and ended up on Amanda Seyfried’s body for the premiere of Letters to Juliet. And on a totally related note, doesn’t this chick (or movie execs that hire her) have some kind of weird obsession with letter writing? I mean, Dear John, Letters to Juliet … what the fuck are these people trying to say?

Girlfriend’s hair and makeup look fabulous, but I’m definitely hating on the dress. And those knees … holy cow. Somehow she made off with my horribly knobby knees, too, even though I didn’t think I got rid of those as easily as that heinous dress.

But really … all ass-busting aside, is this woman not one of Hollywood’s hottest women? I’m thinking, uh, yes.

And quite frankly, I can’t believe that it’s stayed on the air even this long.

The Sarah Silverman Program is in its third season and execs state that this season will be the show’s last … and you know there was no avoiding the chopping block, in spite of the campaign that was waged on Twitter to save the show from imminent cancellation. These newfangled networking sites can do a lot — like bring Betty White to SNL — but can’t entirely save something that’s shit to begin with. Sorry, Sarah. Your ticket’s up.

Unfortunately for Sarah Silverman haters (like myself), she’s not going away anytime soon. She currently has a few projects up her sleeve including the promotion of her new book, which was released last month, and other D-list stuff.

I fully expect her to slink off into obscurity within the next few months or so. Weeks, if we’re lucky.

I know for damned sure it wasn’t who I thought, because with Miley out of the picture, I didn’t think there were anymore “real” child actors or actresses out there. But alas, the kid from Two and a Half Men, Angus T. Jones, is paid $250k per episode.

You heard me, right? A fucking quarter-million dollars for each episode that he withstands having to put up with Charlie Sheen? Sick. Jones began his stint on Two and a Half Men when he was only ten and has been at it for the past seven years, give or take. Jones claims that he does plan on going to college, but hasn’t done any interviews since last year. All of that might change if, indeed, he is making $250k per episode. Again … sick.

I guess we know how Charlie’s gonna make his huge support payments … it’s no wonder he stuck with the show. If Jones is making this kind of money, Sheen’s got to be riding the gravy train somehow.

The always-dramatic Lady Gaga has been stunning fans with her antics and outlandish comments during the Monster Ball Tour (which will hit US soil on July 1st), but fear not: her constant go-getter attitude isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, let alone considering any kind of break. Gaga states that there’s no rest for the weary and as long as there’s a demand for Gaga, she’ll be there. Kind of like the Three Amigos.

“You know when people say, ‘Lady Gaga’s really tired, she needs to take a break,’ I just think about all those times I sang in bars when nobody was singing my lyrics. I’ll sleep when I’m dead, okay?”

Gaga also claims that alcohol will probably kill her someday (nice sentiment!) and she wants to make sure it happens on stage in front of her fans, rather than horribly alone in some used, celebrity-ridden hotel with cockroaches in the corner of the room and styrofoam takeout containers strewn about.

You know. Kind of like how Lindsay’s going to go.

The cast of Twlight is going to be on an upcoming episode of Oprah and a preview of the episode has just been released. What do I think? Well, in four words: God help us all. How do I feel about it? In one word: Nervous.

The screaming, the emotions, the lack of emotions from Kristen Stewart. I can imagine it all perfectly in my head and I can’t even imagine what the world will be like after literally every single television on the face of this earth will be tuned into ABC for that one hour. Think about it, all those teenagers PLUS Oprah’s already massive audience? If Oprah was smart she’d plan subliminal messages in every third second of the show. She could own us all after that one hour. Never has she been so powerful and that’s saying a lot.

Cate Blanchett, Kevin Spacey, Matthew Fox and other faces you normally know from A-listy things joined together in Portofino, Italy to shoot a commercial for Swiss watch company, IWC. Considering how much they were all being paid to be there, all the stars looked content and glad to pal around with one another on set. Knowing that these pics are from the set of a watch ad and not stills from a Christmas 2010 movie release is… kinda crazy to think about.