Kendra Wilkinson’s sex tape is definitely real and she definitely had some plastic surgery done since her 18th birthday. [Celebslam]

2010′s Worst and Best Beach Bodies. [popbytes]

Check out the trailer for The Scarlett Letter. [Pajiba]

Jeremy Piven wants to do the nasty with Jessica Simpson. And now I’m cringing at the thought of Jeremy Piven doing the nasty with anyone. [Celebitchy]

Jesus doesn’t want you to kiss before marriage. So, yeah. Don’t. [Zelda Lily]

Stephen Baldwin goes naked for Cosmo. Too bad it wasn’t way back in the day when the dude actually used to be hot. [Litely Salted]

A-Roid doesn’t want Cameron Diaz anywhere near his game, Miley Cyrus loves grinding on men who have absolutely no interest in her whatsoever and Jude Law and Sienna Miller are just fucking pathetic. [Betty Confidential]

Lindsay Lohan’s “I Wanna Be Bad” is just as bad as you’d expect. [Allie is Wired]

Gisele Bundchen stumps for Hope lingerie and still looks incredibly non-human. [Amy Grindhouse]

Wow. TMZ’s just … rude. [OMGBlog]

The Trumps are generally an ugly bunch … with the exception of Ivanka, of course. [Celebrity Smack Blog]

Kelis loves fur and she’s not trying to hide it, either, by saying that it’s fake or leftovers of a Britney weave haircut or something.

While plenty of other celebrities are looking to stomp for the cause, Kelis is clearly not one of them, claiming that the organization is judgmental, hypocritical and kind of pointless — at least based on the way she claims they run. Kelis states that she’s a “complete carnivore” and would have “fur walls” if she could.

Put that in your furless vegan pipe and smoke it, PETA.

Though he’s engaged to one of the hottest females on the planet, Russell Brand has no bones about discussing his prior sexual conquests and how they attributed to his sexual addiction. Brand claims that he formerly had a group of, uh, “supporters” that frequently scoped out fuckable chicks and made it happen more or less:

“When I was at my most promiscuous, I was like a charging locomotive. My selection process was outsourced. I had a team of experts who took care of finding women for me. They had very specific instructions. It was as if I was talking to a wine steward – ‘I’m looking for something French, a bit fruity, smells of oak’.”

So, yeah. I guess he’s some sort of reformed sex god or whatever, but I still can’t believe that Katy Perry’s considering marrying him. I mean, who knows. She strikes me as a person who could get down with the freakiness that Brand’s legacy has left him, so hell. It could be a match made in raven-haired, eyeliner-lovin’ heaven.  The world may never know.

And he just can’t stop singing her praises. According to Mimi’s husband, Nick Cannon, she does everything with a flair for the talented: singing, dressing, designing really fucking awful perfumes and now, cooking.

Cannon, who is to appear on Rachael Ray’s show today, boasts that his wife is not only a dynamic business woman that happens to have seventy-five different octaves to her singing register, she cooked a turkey “the size of New Jersey” for their latest Thanksgiving feast:

“She cooks! People are always so surprised to see she cooks, but she’s a great cook …”

Nick, hon, I wouldn’t be trying too hard. I mean, it’s great and all that you say you love your wife and renew your vows every fucking year, but if you’re worried about the cash cow leaving you behind in the barn, I hardly think you need to. She’s never going to leave you — she probably thinks that she can’t do any better for some inane reason. You’re in for a nice little lavish life, though, at any rate. Y’all can sit around in your sweatpants and eat chocolates until wifey’s fat enough to wheel around the house in a chair and then you can take her for jaunts around your topiary. One day you’ll go and take a phone call and you’ll hear “Nick! NICKY!” and come running … Miss Mimoo will be on her side like a chocolate-stained bloated Elvis looking for help off of the toilet, looking up at you and there’ll be a glimmer — some kind of reminder — of who the lady, the woman, Mariah Carey used to be. Or maybe it’s just hunger. Or gas.

But at any rate, that’ll make it all worthwhile, now, won’t it?

Radar Online has received exclusive information pertaining to Bones star David Boreanaz and his, uh, “indiscretions” with the newest Hollywood ho, Rachel Uchitel. You’ll remember that Uchitel was originally linked to Tiger Woods … and there’s no need to explain how all of that turned out.

Not only do the texts and phone conversations that RO received show Uchitel as an icky woman who’s just desperate for male affection, it also paints her with the obsessive, possessive brush — the sources claim that Rachel repeatedly begged encouraged Boreanaz to make their “relationship” permanent:

In the messages, Uchitel tells Boreanaz that she is unable to go see him in LA and urges him to come see her in NY instead, writing, “I need you here so we can be together.” Boreanaz tells her, “This is not a good time.” His wife Jamie was pregnant with the couple’s second child at the time of his affair with Uchitel. Uchitel erupts in anger and writes, “I can’t do this anymore…Just go. Just (bleeping) go and be with her.” This causes Boreanaz to get angry and he writes: “Why do u act like such a (bleeping) child!!! She is my wife.” But that doesn’t cause Uchitel to back off and she replies,“Oh, please!!” She grows more furious with him and writes,“You’re such a liar. You’re never leaving. You’ve wasted my time and I’m once again alone … I can’t (bleeping) be alone anymore. I’ve been alone my entire life.” Boreanaz fights back, writing, “What the HELL are you talking about. We spend more than enough time together.”

So, not only is Uchitel responsible for dabbling in yet another marriage (though she insinuated that she had a liaison with Boreanaz months back), David Boreanaz’s wife now knows that there were other women, too, in addition to the woman who supposedly tried to extort money from the actor and his wife — not so unlike Tiger and his relationship with estranged wife, Elin.

Reps for Boreanaz and his wife claim that they’re going to work through this (or rather, these) and they anticipate coming out on top.

Funny. That’s what she said.

“I’ve always been really cautious about guys who have a Winnie Cooper fantasy, and I’m so glad about that. I mean, I can count on one hand the guys I’ve been with. It was really challenging, but I never gave it up too soon, if you know what I mean.”

- Danica McKellar aka Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years tells Maxim all about what a prude she is.