While the sort of formerly-hot-in-a-funk-kind-of-way actress has been rumored to be dating A-Rod, she hasn’t wasted any time laying down the law and telling everyone that she’s willing to be married. This should go over well with the long-time ladies’ man, Rodriguez. Diaz states that she’s a romantic at heart and isn’t afraid of commitment. Cam speaks these prophetic words to Parade magazine [stifles laughter] and sort of throws A-Rod under the bus the term “elopement” around:

“I am a romantic. I love romance. I’m not afraid of commitment. I commit to everything I’m doing and I am hopelessly loyal … The mystique and the romance of a big wedding are lost on me. I don’t think that I could ever do something that extravagant. I am not much of a planner. I would probably make the phone call 20 minutes before the bus leaves for the chapel and ask if anyone is available to come. That’s probably how my wedding is going to end up.”

Read: Cammy’s getting desperate and running out of options. Oh, and doesn’t realize that the best way to trap a man like A-Rod is to not get involved with him in the first place. Poor, sad, Cameron Diaz. She’ll be a spinster for the rest of her life with this faux-I-don’t-care-about-getting-married-but-I’m-actually-really-fucking-desperate-to-tie-the-knot-before-fifty attitude. She tries to pretend like she’s the girl all the guys want by “knowing” what turns guys on, but farts in front of them and dribbles chili sauce down the front of her chin without wiping it off, ’cause she thinks these things make her seem down-to-earth.

Damn, Cammy. Just … damn.

“I remember crying in the bathtub,” she told [Shape magazine for the June issue]. “I took a washcloth, made it hot, put it over my chest and prayed, ‘Please don’t let them grow any bigger. They’re embarrassing me.’ I was the first girl in my class to wear a bra.”

–Kim Kardashian on the tragedy of having big ol’ boobs and her rationale that steaming hot water might help shrink them.  She’s not the creator of the word “volumptuous” for nothing, you know.

Both John Travolta and wife, Kelly Preston, took to their personal websites last night in an effort to put a stop to the rumors (and not tumors, which is what I originally typed) that the couple is expecting another child. Because they are, in fact, expecting another child and wanted you to hear it right from the horse’s mouth.

From John’s website:

It’s impossible to keep a secret … especially one as wonderful as this. We want to be the first to share this great news with everyone that we are expecting a new addition to our family.

Love,

John, Kelly and Ella

I’m going to go out on a limb here and at least assume that they’re talking about a child … they probably wouldn’t be getting another dog yet; not so soon, anyway.

From Kelly’s website:

It’s impossible to keep a secret … especially one as wonderful as this. We want to be the first to share this great news with everyone that we are expecting a new addition to our family.

Love,

John, Kelly and Ella

Oh, damn, guess who’s not original! Ah, well. It took Preston’s site for-fucking-ever to load anyway, so I guess it’s John’s career (and much, much cooler-looking and faster-loading website) that is the priority in this marriage.

Anyway, congrats, kids — and good luck for a happy and healthy pregnancy and delivery!

…and I dunno, but it makes me kind of sad and emotional to think about. Travis aka Travie and Katy dated for a hot minute, but broke up in April of last year. The following December, Katy became engaged to Russell Brand. Ouch. It’s tough enough to see that happen when your ex is “a nobody”, but when your ex’s dating life is chronicled in the tabloids and you kinda can’t help but hear constant updates… ouch.

Travie says he started to get over the whole thing by working on his new mixtape which he’s calling Forgetting Katy Perry. Damn. Wonder how she feels about that. Travie talked to Complex.com and said the following about his latest project:

“I think it was inspired by that whole situation. At the end of the day, I think anyone who has been thorough some shit can relate to (the music). It could have been about my girlfriends before, but I’m (going to) keep it real with you, it was definitely about Katy Perry. I definitely felt a certain way about the whole situation. Having a year and a half to reflect on it, you start questioning everything…The timelines… she got engaged so quickly after. I was like, ‘Really?’ I had to sit back and reassess what was really going on. After you have some time to start thinking about it, you start putting things together. It’s been a year and a half. I’m over it. I’m sure she knows. The mixtape is not airing out any dirty laundry. If anything, it’s me poking fun at myself. If you’ve seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall, that’s my life. I’m that dude.”

Damn.

You all are going to hate me, but the same way I don’t really get Lady Gaga? I also don’t really get Glee. OK, I mean, I “get” both of them, but I don’t particularly care for either of them. But I know everyone else does, so I’ll post this for the rest of the world and just ask you to excuse my lack of passion.

Here’s a newly released acoustic version of Idina Menzel and Lea Michele singing ”Poker Face” from Glee‘s Lady Gaga episode that airs tonight. The costumes will probably be hilarious. I’m going to stay in and rewatch that movie Singles and eat the rest of these cookies I have sitting on my dresser. Have fun with all that.

The first still from Lady Gaga’s Alejandro video shoot has leaked and it looks like she’s busy working on yet another visual spectacle. It feels odd to see that much of her face, though. You know? When was the last time Lady Gaga showed her entire face? She’s always got on sunglasses or some sort of batshit accessory glued to her head.

Personally I’m thinking that after the “Telephone” video she really should have just gone with something simple, but whatever.