Not back to American Idol or anything.  No, this is better.  Paula Abdul is the executive producer, creative partner, lead judge, mentor, and coach for a dance competition show, Got to Dance.  The show is going to premiere on CBS sometime mid-season as the U.S. edition of a British show with the same name, and it will no doubt be a train wreck.

I never really got into American Idol, but I have a friend who watches it religiously, and she always sends me clips and says “watch this hilarious audition,” or “watch Ryan Seacrest be ridiculous,” but my favorite has always been when she says “watch Paula Abdul be out of her fucking mind.”  And she always really, really was.  That was when she was just a judge, but if she’s what seems to be the running force of the show then I can’t even begin to imagine that magic.

Lisa Edelstein, better known as Cuddy from House, has always rooted for a romance between her character and Laurie’s.  You can’t really blame her – you know a large percentage of House viewers want to bang him – but Lisa’s a little vocal about it.  After the finale of the sixth season, which hinted at an actual relationship between the two, she hasn’t been holding back:

“I think they need to go for it!”

Cute, right?  Yeah, that’s cool, but then she went on to talk about Laurie specifically:

“We get on great, he’s such a fun guy, and a sexy guy too! He’s funny and smart, and, to top it all, he’s tall, he has beautiful eyes.”

“I think his character’s brilliant. He solves all these problems and saves people from dying, which everybody would like to be able to do. But at the same time he has all this freedom to say whatever he wants to say to people, there’s no editing.”

We get it, Lisa, you’re a total House fangirl, and usually there’s nothing wrong with that.  But if you want to fangirl that much over someone you know, you have to be a little more discreet.  Either that, or just go ahead and tap that.  Ain’t nobody gonna judge you, Lisa, you just do what you have to do.

Somewhere in syndication heaven, Angela Chase is slitting her wrists and listening to The Cure.

Jared Leto, who did a whole bunch of screenwork after My So-Called Life is now more, um, well-known for his stage antics and musical performances. These photos were taken recently, believe it or not, and showcased his eccentric style of 80′s pop-nouveau-punk Rainbow Brite psychadelia.

His band, 30 Seconds to Mars, has achieved some fame in that people sometimes go to see them play, but really and honestly can’t be all that good if their frontman (AKA Leto) calls his guitars “Pythagoras” and “Artemis,” respectively. Total, total cheese. Anyway, if you have no idea what they sound like, I’ve saved you the hassle of going on over to YouTube to check them out. The video below is of one of their supposed “best” singles, “Kings and Queens.”

While it’s honestly much, much better than I had anticipated it to be, it’s still kind of on that “meh” level for me.

At any rate, enjoy!

Rumors are swirling lately over Mariah Carey’s sudden weight gain and many are claiming that she’s either a) pregnant, or b) taking on fertility treatments in order to get pregnant. I’m just thinking that she’s gotten fat, me.

The National Enquirer states that Carey’s blown up because she and husband, Nicky Cannon, are trying to have a child, but her 41 year-old body isn’t responding well to traditional methods:

MARIAH CAREY has secretly resumed fertility treatments in a desperate bid to become a mom, The ENQUIRER has learned. AND that’s the REAL reason the Grammy-winning diva’s weight has soared!

“She’s packed on a lot of weight, but it’s related to the fertility drugs she’s taking,” a close pal told The ENQUIRER. “In fact, she may already be pregnant.”

The 41-year-old singer was beaming after visiting the Southern California Reproductive Center, a top fertility clinic in Beverly Hills, on Mother’s Day with hubby Nick Cannon, 29. Mariah had unsuccessfully sought in vitro treatment at the clinic last year, the source says.

“She’s going to be able to have a baby.”

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not hating on the girl because she’s gained some weight (’cause she so totally has). She looks pretty damned good for her age, but recent photos of Jennifer Aniston, who’s around the same age, would say otherwise. So, okay. She’d look pretty damned good for her age if she were my cousin Selma. ‘Cause Selma’s 41, too, and looks nothing like Mariah Carey.

More photos of Mariah Carey’s yo-yoing weight in the gallery below.

And she uses “big words,” like “disconcerting.” She also claims that she’s not taking drugs and doesn’t understand why people say that she’s going to jail, because she’s just, like, totally compliant and drug-free. Oh, and although her mother has already blown up her spot on the real reason she was “stuck” in Cannes, Lohan claims that she was stuck in Cannes because her passport was stolen and she couldn’t get out of France.

She also throws her dad under the bus, claiming that he’s a convicted felon that she doesn’t have a relationship with anymore and isn’t a part of his life, but can’t stop talking about him anyway.

Yeah, and that whole debacle in France? She wasn’t “partying in Cannes,” she was “there for work.”

Bahahaha!

Yeah, thanks for, uh, clearing that up for us BLohan. I especially liked your explanation of the coke photos taken with le Francais in France. You totally made my dreary, rainy day. Keep up the videos … I feel like it gives my life that smarmy, dirty kind of meaning which I’ve so desperately missed since Robert Downey Jr. dropped off the radar with all of his cracked-out, crazy antics.

Simon Monjack, widower of the late Brittany Murphy, was found dead in the home he shared with Murphy’s mother last night. Murphy’s mother, Sharon, found Monjack unconscious in the master bedroom late last evening and sources claim that the preliminarily determined cause of death is cardiac arrest — just like Brittany herself.

The LAPD claims that yes, while there were (still) various prescription medications in the home, they are ruling out any suspicious conditions or suicide.

Murphy was found dead in her home on December 20th, 2009 and almost five months to the day later, her husband, Monjack, was found dead apparently by the same cause of death.

I guess it’s not surprising … the dude, even when Brittany was living, seemed high-strung and indulgent (what, with his thirty or forty pounds of excess weight, love of thick Cuban cigars and drink), but it is kind of weird, and of course, sad. Monjack definitely went off the deep end after Murphy’s death and I think that also attributed to these inevitable circumstances, too.

If I were Brittany’s mom, I’d get the fuck out of that house before it claimed me, too. Maybe we’ve got a real, live Amityville Horror house here in the Hollywood Hills, just waiting to claim its next victim. Who the fuck knows. Crazy stuff.

But anyway, whatever these two kids were together was obviously something that transcended life itself. Though many couldn’t (and still don’t) understand the strange appeal that Monjack had to the late Brittany, you only have to look through the photos of the two together to see that Murphy did appear to be deliriously happy.

RIP, Simon; I hope you’re finally at peace with yourself and Brittany, now, too.

[Update: TMZ is exclusively reporting, though law enforcement officials state otherwise, that Monjack may have died from an accidental overdose.]