So, the SATC premiere was last night in New York City. I didn’t go ’cause I was too busy watching the series finale of 24, but made sure I caught up with the SATC ladies this morning, paying homage to the mostly-fabulous dresses. And damn, some of those dresses — like, really. But then again, what else would you expect from a movie that’s so heavily-rooted in fashion?

I’m probably going to have to go and admit that Carrie Sarah Jessica Parker was probably the best dressed of the night. There’s just something so viscerally pleasing about chartreuse with grey heels. Stellar. And the night, naturally, was just filled with fashion cameos — Bo Derek showed up looking like … well, looking like she was going to clean a yacht rather than attend a big-name movie premiere. And then there was Petra Nemacova, who looked all of twelve years old, and Michelle Trachtenberg, who appeared rather pissed off that she looked like sausage in torn casing in her dress.

While I thoroughly expected Kim Catrall to look the best of all of the SATC ladies, she totally looked the worst — definitely more like 60 year-old drag-queen that forgot his Spanx at home than the hot, hot woman I’ve come to love since her plastic part on Mannequin.

Oh, and Jennifer Love Hewitt … I totally think you’re an asshat, but you looked pretty damn great last night, I can’t deny.

Check out the photos in the gallery from last night’s events and after party.

In my inbox this afternoon: a threatening letter from one of Joe Francis’s crack team of legal eagles paralegals, threatening to sue me if I don’t remove a post … from Celebrifi.com. Which I don’t own. If you’re going to tell me that you “take this matter very seriously,” maybe pay your legal team enough to get their links right as they send out a slew of baseless threats.

Here’s the full text:

Re: Joe Francis Article Posted On Your Website Entitled: “It Appears That Joe Francis May Not Be The Good Guy We Thought He Was” (the “Article”)

To whom it may concern,

Demand is hereby made that you immediately remove the Article from your website. The Article contains false, defamatory statements as well as statements that are in violation of agreements signed by the former employees involved with the report.

This letter serves as a formal notice of our demand that you immediately remove the Article from your website located at http://celebrifi.com/gossip/Joe-Francis-Allegedly-Attacks-Employees-Including-A-Pregnant-Woman-2551384.html as well as any other websites owned and/or controlled by you. We hereby reserve the right to take such action as necessary to protect our rights, business and reputation. Make no mistake: we will sue you, and seek injunctive relief, damages and attorney’s fees.

So that there is no possibility of misunderstanding, know this: we take this matter very seriously and will take appropriate action to protect our interests. The only way for you to possibly avoid such action is to contact me immediately. Nothing in this letter should be construed as a waiver, relinquishment or election or rights or remedies by Mantra Films, Inc. and its related companies, all of which expressly reserves all rights and remedies under all applicable federal and state laws. Thank you in advance for your prompt attention to this matter.

Hey, Joe? The actual article we posted does nothing more than restate the facts from Radar’s story. We’re completely within our rights here. We make no accusations of our own, we state nothing as fact, and you have no grounds to sue us, and you fucking know that.

But, hey, while we’re on the topic, remember that L.A. Times piece that recounts in pretty gritty detail how you raped a girl and then tried to cover it up by threatening the reporter?

I DO. AND I JUST WANT TO REMIND EVERYONE ELSE WHO FORGOT.

Fuck you, you dirty piece of shit.

I’m bananas about Ginnifer Goodwin and when I’m not annoyed by Kate Hudson, I find her delightful (a love/hate relationship, you might say), so I’m actually looking forward to Something Borrowed, the romcom the two are filming in NYC. These photos of the actresses hanging out on set were snapped in the Meatpacking District today and it seems like Ginnifer and Kate might be buddies on set, which will definitely help with their on screen chemistry.

Any movies coming out that you’re looking forward to seeing?

Wow. Sometimes news comes across my desk and it kills me to report it, but that’s my job. It’s not all unicorns and Kardashians over here, you know?

So Joe Jonas and Demi Lovaoto have supposedly broken up, and according to the hamface who got the exclusive, not only did the break up happen over the phone, but Joe had his dad break the news to Demi. That’s right, Joe Jonas had his father break up with his girlfriend. How low is that?

Demi’s not heartbroken over it, though. The source said that Demi got her tears out and is already moving on and exploring her dating options. Damn. Demi Lovato is single and almost legal. Shoot. Her stock is through roof. Your loss, JoJoBro.

From time to time we’ve all enjoyed the side effects of the medicine we’ve had to take after feeling crappy. You ain’t never caught me frowning at some liquid codeine post-dental surgery or a little bit of a muscle relaxant from the doctor after going in for a bad back. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the buzz when it’s prescribed, you know what I’m saying? Well, Kristin Chenoweth knows what I’m saying because homegirl is fuuuuuucked up on some sorta cough medicine she got to help her recover from a throat infection and Tweeting through the whole thing. Almost as good as Louis CK‘s drunken plane ride last week.

Is Kristin going Mormon on us and tripping on some OTC shit, or do are we thinking she’s got the good stuff?

Tila Tequila has agreed to appear on the new season of Celebrity Rehab (which probably wouldn’t even be happening without her) and has taken it upon herself to explain her drug use and decision to go to rehab on her blog. The lengthy letter reads like a crack diary and Tila spends most of it talking about how she doesn’t want to be “another Lindsay Lohan”. Right, bitch. At least Lohan has a legitimate career behind her. Aren’t you that chick from MySpace?

From Tila’s blog:

Hey everyone!

I just wanted to let all of you know that I love my TIla Army Very much, and I was in denial for a long time but it takes a brave and strong woman to not only admit to herself that she has a problem, but also let the whole world know about it. It almost feels like I’m stripped down totally naked and standing in front of a million people. With that said, I KNOW I am an EXTREMELY smart girl, and to run all these empires when I am not even 30 yet, is quite an accomplishment, however I finally admitted to myself that I cannot rely on taking prescription pills everyday for the rest of my life! I didn’t spend my heart and soul into building this extremely successful website, invest every last ounce of money into it, and believe me, a site like this plus staff is EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE! I also have My new Record Label and getting all the contracts done to also start up my own management firm, but in order to do all of that, I MUST not be another “LINDSAY LOHAN” where I just flush everything I worked so hard for down the toilet for nothing….

NO WAY! So although this is not something I am very proud to admit, but at least I am strong enough to get help because I DO WANT A BRIGHTER FUTURE FOR MYSELF AND SUCCEED IN EVERYTHING I SET MY MIND ON!

So all you haters, who keeps saying mean shit, hiding behing your laptop and talking shit about me, not because you actually care, but you’re just being a cyber bully! So now that I’m actually getting help, and that takaes a lot of courage, and I know my TILA ARMY will support me through this journey and continue to support me….. but what will you haters do now? I’m finally getting help, shouldn’t you people support those who can finally admit that they have a problem? NOPE! So haters, just shut you’re mouths. SAY IT TO ME IN PERSON AND IT’S A DIFFERENT STORY!! But for now, all you loser haters can sit and hide behind your computer on your fat lazy asses not doing anything with you’re life besides stalking me and bashing my fans. Haters, if I CAN ADMIT THAT I NEED HELP, MAYBE IT’S TIME FOR YOU TOO, ADMITTING THAT YOU NEED HELP FOR CYBERBULLYING PEOPLE AND STALKING THEM 247!

With that said our OMG sources found out that if I do well on “CELEBRITY REHAB” and continue to stay sober, that VH1 May pick up my OWN SPIN OFF SHOW ABOUT MY LIFE SOBER NOW AND HOW I CAN HANDLE BEING A MOGUL, AND STILL TRY TO MEET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! IT’s gong to be very raw and real.

So anyway, since the news already broke, I just wanted to tell you myself, and despite those rumors TMZ and many other website have on there that the only person they could find to be on the show was me and if that if they don’t find anymore people to sign on then the show will be cancelled! WRONG!

People always like to make up lies. First of all I pack my bags and leave in about 9 more days to film. There will be 8 to 10 people there already, so of course the reporters are all reporting lies! Geez, even my site is becoming more legit than TMZ and Piggy Perez! You shall see very soon what I mean by that. Turst me.

In the meanwhile TILA ARMY, stay strong for me out there and hold down the fort for me until I return!!! I know my TILA ARMY WILL NEVER STOP SUPPORTING ME BECAUSE I NEVER STOP SUPPORTING THEM!!! SO PLEASE TILA ARMY HOLD THE FORT DOWN FOR ME, SHOW THE HATERS THAT YOU ARE STRONGER THEM THEM!! AND PEASE TUNE IN TO THE SHOW ONCE IT AIRS. I’M A LITTLE NERVOUS BUT AT LEAST I AM GETTING HELP!!! Jeus, if anything, LINDSAY LOHAN NEEDS TO BE IN CELEBRITY REHAB!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God Bless,
Miss Tila

Uhhh… best of luck, girl?