Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Listen, Ke$ha, We Need to Have A Talk

You released your new music video today, and that’s great.  Really, it is.  I’m glad that you are successful right now and that you have fans that adore you.  The world is your oyster, Ke$ha, and that’s exactly why I feel the need to get through to you.

You are a hot mess, honey.  There’s no other way to put it.  I know, I know, you might just be presenting the persona of an alcoholic, promiscuous young lady, but when the opening lyric of your latest song is “maybe I need some rehab,” maybe you do.  Maybe that’s exactly what you need.  Your issues with alcohol have been documented, but I’m also beginning to speculate some other substances are involved, mostly due to the fact that you have a trippy animated segment in the middle of your new video in which you turn into a mermaid for a second.  I don’t know, maybe you’re just being creative, and if that’s the case, I apologize.  I just want what’s best for you.

With all my love,


P.S.  If I get cockblocked one more time because we’re at a club and “Blah Blah Blah” comes on and my friends just have to dance to it, I don’t know if we can be friends anymore.

16 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I can’t get past her comment that her friends (?!?) said she smelled like shrimp in a dirty diaper. Nope. Can’t do it.

  • What a low budget, fucking piece of shit that was.
    She is fucking awful!

    Break down of production budget:

    Used 90’s era camcorder off of Craigslist 15.
    Costumes and props from defunct L.A.
    puppet theater 25.
    Case of Schlitz Malt Liquor 0. (it was stolen)
    Cosco Bulk package of Trojans 30.



  • Wow. This is . . . this is . . . wow. Again and again, I am amazed and perplexed that she supposedly got near-perfect SAT scores. But she clearly has a vision, and I think she’s quite talented at . . . making THAT vision a reality.

    • If her vision has anything to do with being perceived as an alcoholic, tweaking, talentless, trailer park scab ….. she has knocked one out of the park!

  • Emily, your p.s. made me laugh. Mostly because my friends do that EXACT thing. And I can’t stand it. You rule.

  • Dear Emily,

    That was a totally legit reason to accidentally cock block you.
    I may have been drunk, but they were Not Hot.
    Also, I can assure you that you were drunk and not thinking clearly. After all, that one guy beat you at tic-tac-toe. At least I tied once before I got beaten at it.
    Furthermore, it was Tik Tok, which we both know will be my theme song as soon as Jack and I can work our shit out and be as close as Jose and I are.
    Workin’ on it.

  • Yeah, 6 seconds was enough, but she’s making more money than all of us, so scoff is you will….

  • How well can u succeed when u have no talent/beauty at all! Kesha is just another example.

  • This was all that was left after Amy Winehouse, Gaga, Miley, Ri-Ri, Beyonce, Taylor and Xina etc did their goofy ‘notice me’ fugly skank schtick.

  • God, she gets on my fucking nerves. That “valley girl” drawl and goofy moves irritate the shit out of me. Video was pretty low rent crap, too.