This is insanely LOL-funny. The must-watch of the day.
Is everyone SO PUMPED for the final season of The Hills to start tonight? Tragically, my answer to that question is a resounding “yes.” I am a total tool. But seriously have you seen the clips of Heidi attempting to cry with her plastic face? It’s AMAZING. (The trailer is after the jump — Heidi “cries” around 2:34.)
After the not-so-famous-anymore and more-infamous-than-anything Joan Rivers opened her trap about wanting Mel Gibson to “fucking die,” I totally thought she’d lay low for awhile. Not that many people really disagreed with her, but damn … them’s fighting words.
Rivers recently spoke on a topic that she knows oodles about: plastic surgery. And who better to critique shitty plastic surgery than the Queen of All Things Shitty Plastic? Rivers spoke to US Magazine and commended Heidi Montag — of all people — on her various plastic surgeries, stating that the reality star should have “started sooner” — like at age thirteen. Rivers also claimed that Montag “looks fine now, but [she] could have done it [plastic surgery] in stages.”
Joan, Joan, Joan … Have all of those facial surgeries blinded your ass? I mean, they say that too much male masturbation can decrease your eyesight, but you weren’t a man at one point, too … Were you?
Oh, George Costanza … you zany old character, you. Best pay attention when you’re driving, fool.
Reps for Jason Alexander confirm that the star was involved in a minor vehicle accident earlier this morning that involved a fourteen year-old boy ramming his bike into the Seinfeld actor’s car. The child suffered minor bumps and bruises, but was taken to the hospital for precautionary evaluation anyway.
Jason’s rep claimed that the star acted “responsibly” and stayed with the cyclist until the paramedics and parents arrived at the scene.
Alexander’s not being charged with anything, but the police have an open investigation in the case. Makes sense. This is Hollywood, after all.
Speedy recoveries to the kid and best wishes in preventing Jason from having a neurotic breakdown that can only be remedied by food. He did so well on Jenny Craig.
“Everyone gave me so much shit because Gavin sounded like a lot like Kurt … But man, he was such an Adonis in his day! He got good in bed … something happened. Maybe Gwen taught him, for all I know.”
Courtney Love “admitting” to having slept with Gavin Rossdale.
“Yes. She does know. Everyone … yeah … and a few other people. We didn’t have a lot of pressure on each other, but we did like each other quite a bit.”
And Courtney Love in response to Howard Stern’s question regarding Rossdale’s wife, Gwen Stefani, and her knowledge of her husband cheating with the skankified Courtney Love.
I shudder at the imagery.
And also, I think she makes this shit up as she goes along and no one really contests it because she’s nutty-as-squirrel-poo Courtney-Fucking-Love. I mean, Harrison. I mean Michelle.
Perez Hilton (who follows Michael Lohan’s Twitter religiously, obviously) caught Papa L in the act of spreading some pretty major rumors about the health of his daughter, Lindsay.
According to Lohan’s Twitter, Lindsay is “living with HIV” because of the “decisions she’s made” in life.
Michael Lohan claims that he had a hacker break into his Twitter account yesterday and after he found out, he deleted the entire history of incriminating Tweets regarding Lindsay. However, if you look at the Tweets that came in before and after the one where Michael blew up his daughter’s health, they all sound an awful lot like what Lohan himself would be Tweeting regardless.
So … could he really be that big of a schmuck to out his daughter on a HIV diagnosis through fucking Twitter or do you think there’s actual truth behind the hacker explanation?
Jesse James has been released from rehab and has been set out upon the world to resurrect his, uh, “image,” and he’s doing it sans wedding ring.
Anyway, Huntington Beach was a pretty big place for drama to go down yesterday, what with Jesse’s epic return home and Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson’s fight that resulted in Ortiz’s arrest. James arrived at his formerly-shared with Sandra Bullock home yesterday on the back of one of his hawgs.
However, while Jesse’s so obviously trying to rectify his mistakes (ha), his father had some less-than-productive comments on James’ embellished past and fascination with all-things-Nazi. According to James’ father, the Nazi obsession “… started at an early age. [He] liked their war machine, he liked their uniforms, he liked their guns, he liked everything about them.” The elder James admits that he bought books for Jesse on the war, and said that he had a friend “that was a Nazi, that [Larry James] used to do antique shows with.”
According to Jesse’s supposedly-troubled upbringing, Larry James claims that his son is full of it. Larry claimed that his violent and hard-knock past had no truth to it whatsoever; James “had one incident with the law… he did 26 days in juvenile hall [for] stealing some film out of a photomat.”
Jesse and his father, Larry, have been estranged for over six years due to un-publicized reasons. Larry even admits to never having met his son’s wife, Sandra Bullock.
Sucks for you Jesse, that after all of the nailing around you did behind Sandra Bullock’s back that each and every person you might have considered “close” at one point is coming back to hammer those last nails into your coffin, am I right?
I would like to tell you that the term “retard” is very offensive to me. I am not offended because I ASSUME it would offend someone who has mental retardation. I am offened on how the word came to...
I am not offended that Rosie has a fear or anxiety of LP. I feel that when someone knows very little about things and or people they tend to be anxious. Think about it if you had never been around someone...
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