It’s really not funny.

I’m just warning you. Don’t say I didn’t.

I don’t know what it is about this little kid that so rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it’s his baby lip-curl that’s become a pain-in-the-ass idiosyncrasy and he can’t stop doing it ’cause now he thinks he looks suave. Maybe it’s the “rebellious” way that he says “bitch.” Maybe it’s just because he’s a mini-tool and he’s just. not. funny.

Yeah, I think the last one.

Sting, otherwise known as Gordan Matthew Thomas Sumner, has gotta be a stoner.  He speaks out via blog and discusses an issue that some consider taboo and forbidden — the legalization of marijuana.  Sting states:

“The ‘War on Drugs’ has failed – but it’s worse than that. It is actively harming our society. Violent crime is thriving in the shadows to which the drug trade has been consigned. People who genuinely need help can’t get it. Neither can people who need medical marijuana to treat terrible diseases.  We are spending billions, filling up our prisons with non-violent offenders and sacrificing our liberties.  For years, the ‘Drug War’ has been used as a pretext to lock people in prison for exorbitant lengths of time – people whose ‘crimes’ never hurt another human being, people who already lived at the margins of society, whose voices were the faintest and whose power was the least.  Meanwhile, resources to fight genuine crime – violent crime – have been significantly diminished.”

It’s not surprising that Sting’s a supporter of pot — anyone who rocks that mountain-man facial hair and wears Free People sweaters has gotta toke it up once in awhile.  Come on, where do you think he got the inspiration for his mad zen-tantric sex moves?

Oh, yeah, and do you agree with the music man’s sentiments?

Sandra Bullock has been in the tabloids the past month more than I recall her being in them in the history of her career, and so that means she’s officially the paparazzi’s meal ticket. Sandy and a friend were trying to leave a Beverly Hills home last night and were completely mobbed by photographers. She was covered entirely in what looked like tapestries that she got at a Phish show, but you know that TMZ set is relentless. Normally I can’t complain about invasive “reporting” or whatever you want to call it because, duh! I work at a gossip blog, but IMHO, this is crossing the line.

Sandra Bullock’s has got to be seriously traumatized right now and you know riding around in that poor excuse for an invisibility cloak isn’t helping anything. What do we need? Photos of her being sad? We know she’s sad. Photos of her getting boned and owned by some sexy stud and the best rebound story imaginable? Maybe that I would enjoy but still know deep down is none of my business, you know? Let a woman heal. She didn’t ask for this. One.

I know we’ve had a lot of changes around here since the new year. We said goodbye to our beloved Wendie and Kelly, and welcomed Molls and Sarah on as our new weekday writers. We’re currently in the process of hiring a new weekend writer. I’ve taken on a lot of exciting new projects, like producing exclusive content for SuperPass, including Back to Reality, a new weekly entertainment show starring Chelsia Hart, Laremy Legel and myself (check out the trailer here!!!). I’m also delighted and proud to be a founding member of a local tech startup called Digri, which we’re hoping you’ll hear a lot more about in the future. We’ve already been featured in TechFlash, Seattle 2.0, Thrillist and at Twestival. In addition to the growth we’ve seen on Evil Beet over the past year, our one-year-old fem-blog baby, Zelda Lily, has exploded under the leadership of Sarah Spangenberg and Ashley Lindstrom, and continues to grow faster than I’d ever expected. I couldn’t be more pleased.

With everything I’ve got going on right now, I realized I’m not going to have time it takes to write the quality introspective pieces you’ve come to expect from my personal blog, Sasha is a Monster. This pains me, because SIAM has become something of a window into my soul. It’s where readers know they can come to get to know the real me, stripped of the Evil Beet voice and faux persona. SIAM is the truest representation of Sasha Pasulka as a human being. I hate to think that I’m not giving it the time and effort it deserves.

So, today, I’m delighted to announce that Molly McAleer will be taking over the authorship of my personal blog. Molly will start on Monday, giving you insight into my day-to-day life, friends, activities, struggles and triumphs. I’ve worked with Molly for over a year now, and so I know that, although we’ve never actually met face-to-face, she’s the ideal person to tell you all about exactly what I’m doing and feeling each and every day. She’s going to try to sound exactly like I would at all times, because I’ve asked her specifically to disguise any unique talent and voice she possesses in the interest of being a carbon copy of myself, because I know that’s what the readers have come to expect. On the days Molly can’t write on SIAM, Sarah will be filling in, usually in the early mornings. She’s also been asked to sound exactly like me, thinking to herself after each and every sentence, “Is this exactly what Sasha would write? Is any of my own personality accidentally peeking through?” I think it’s disruptive, ineffective and unfair to encourage writers to develop their own voices and styles, and I’m grateful that Molly and Sarah have agreed that it’s important to be perfect clones of me.

Without further ado, please head on over to Sasha is a Monster to welcome Molly and Sarah to their new positions.

“Look, I eat really well and I work out, but I also indulge when I want to. You’re not taking away my coffee or my dairy or my glass of wine because I’d be devastated. My advice: just stop eating shit every day.”

- Jennifer Aniston on how she does and doesn’t diet in Harper’s Bazaar UK

A name finally attached to a beautiful face. Where do they get these VS models? [Celebslam]

Britney’s looking … well, better. [popbytes]

For real … Does Miley’s new movie suck? I kind of refuse to see it on principle. [Pajiba]

Michael Douglas’ libido is starting to wane with his age — AKA more crap I’ve learned way too much about today. [Celebitchy]

Jennifer Hudson has a healthier self-image than most of us probably do. [Zelda Lily]

What the fuck is Michael Lohan wearing!? Gah, my retinas!!
[Litely Salted]

What Jesse James has done with Sandra Bullock’s face. [Allie is Wired]

Jennifer Aniston would totally do Botox … Wait, she hasn’t already? [Amy Grindhouse]

Come on … Are there really more Tiger mistresses out there? And do we even still care? [Betty Confidential]