Some celebrities cop to drug abuse in order to deal with life’s traumatic events and others head for the nearest seedy bar to drown their sorrows.

However, neither is the case for Janet Jackson — her poison of choice after her brother Michael was murdered passed away was food.

Janet opens up in a recent interview regarding her deceased brother and stated that food was more of a comfort to her than anything else during that dark period in her life:

“It’s stress. When I’m feeling down, I do turn to food. Normally people don’t eat; they don’t have an appetite… [For me] It’s just the opposite; you eat everything.”

I can totally understand where you’re coming from, Miss Jackson. I am for real when I say that I’m right there with you. When life makes me bum, I have to do my best to fend off stress or else I just end up spooning with Ben and Jerry in bed … or forking a big-assed plate of pasta.

It’s alright, though, babe. You’re still amazing in my book.

Two guesses: it’s America’s favorite unwed teen mother that doesn’t have an asshat for a mom … oh, wait.  Sorry, leading question —  my bad!

Happy Birthday, Jamie Lynn Spears!

America’s first teen-pregnancy-Disney-princess turns a ripe, old nineteen today.  I checked in to see if anything new was happening with the lovely Miss Spears, but the latest headlines were from two weeks ago when it looked like she might move on in with big sis, Britney.  Guess that didn’t pan out all too well — and good for you, kid, good for you.

What’s the difference between Jesus and Jamie Lynn Spears?  One of them had a career that was  resurrected!

Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves look like a match made in boho-heaven, yeah? I mean, damn. They’re off the charts. These guys are cooler than ice cold.

The couple made headlines in 2007 when they first started dating and have progressively gotten cooler — individually and as a couple — each year thereafter. For real. And Camila? She just gave birth to their latest child, Vida, in January. And she looks fabulous and not fabulous in that “I-didn’t-really-carry-this-child-for-nine-months-way,” either. She looks like you, she looks like me: she’s just beautiful.

Obviously, I am so in love with these two and their amazing little family.

The recently-expanded family was photographed yesterday in Malibu on their way to a buddy’s beachfront birthday party.

McConaughey’s right and the dude proves it ev-er-y day:

“You just gotta keep on livin’, man. L-I-V-I-N.”

Upon finding out that Sandra Bullock had allegedly (and indefinitely) pulled the plug on any attempts at trying to save the couple’s marriage, the Monster Garage cheater got pissed like a petulant little boy who heard ‘no’ twice in a row and checked himself out of rehab after only a few days. Since there was obviously no point in being there if it wouldn’t result in him getting laid one way or another, James hit the road. Jack.

Sources state that rehab was James’ last-ditch effort to resurrect (by the way, Happy Easter) his dilapidated marriage to America’s Sweetheart. … And you can totally see the conviction in the gesture, right? However, despite his “effort,” insiders close to Sandra state that she’s divorcing him “rehab or no rehab.”

Damn, girl, good for you.

While some sources have stated that Cyrus’ boyfriend Liam Hemsworth has moved into the Cyrus family compound, Miley herself is discussing her first big purchase: a home, which incidentally, is rather close to the family homestead in Toluca Lake, California.

Miley recently interviewed with People magazine and told them that she’s in the process of searching for the right home and the right interior decorator — which happens to be none other than her very own Mama Dukes.

Yeah, the same Mom that made Miley promise to live at home until she was twenty, is excited and “stoked” that her daughter is purchasing a home that she gets to decorate.

Seventeen year-old Miley’s design scheme?

“My house is going to be gorgeous because my mom is an interior designer. It’s like if your mom’s a clothes designer you’re always going to look great [Ed. Note: Yeah, just ask Beyonce]. My mom’s an interior designer so my house is going to be perfect all the time.”

Miley states that she wants a “really zen” kind of vibe for her new investment and in order to achieve that kind of zen-ness, all of the furniture just had to be, uh, on the floor. (… Instead of, you know, floating six inches above the carpeting.):

“We did all these different things to make it a place that’s so chill. Like all my couches are on the floor and I have pillows on the floor. It’s just serene – like my own kind of therapy … My religion is love, so my door is always open for anyone who wants to come in. It’s a just a loving place.”

Yeah, baby … yeah.

The always-effervescent and classic Dita Von Teese attended a book signing at the New Orleans Hotel in Las Vegas yesterday as part of the Rockabilly Party Weekend where she signed “autograph after autograph.”

Von Teese rocked a traditional country-western dress during the day and vamped it up later on at the opening with a low-cut red cocktail dress. The burlesque princess was later scheduled to perform at the Las Vegas opening of The Crazy Horse Paris, where she was scheduled for back-to-back performances. After taking part in what I’m sure was a pretty amazing show, Dita took to her Twitter account and stated:

“Confession: real reason I don’t do aftershow meet&greets each night is because I would miss out on the group shower with the dancers….it’s like gym class, but with beautiful french girls laughing & washing…this giant shower with happy, sweet, funny gorgeous showgirls!”

To the woman who has universal appeal: you’ve just addressed every androgynous sex dream, Dita.  Get some.