Last summer everyone was talking about the Burglar Bunch, a group of Los Angeles teenagers who broke in to several celebrity homes (Lindsay Lohan, Audrina Patridge and Paris Hilton, to name a few) to steal clothing, jewelry and other stupid, kind of meaningless shit. Two of the girls involved in the theft, Alexis Neiers and her sister Tess Taylor, were given an E! reality show as a result of all the hoopla, a questionable move but not something completely unheard of for the network. One word: Taradise.
And boy are these two delivering! This story of another heist that went down while the ladies were hosting a night at an Atlanta club popped up on TMZ today:
Sources close to the girls (and multiple club employees) tell TMZ during the course of the evening, the “Pretty Wild” sisters went to the employee lounge several times to use the bathroom. At the end of the evening, the girls were stopped by security and their purses were searched.
We’re told security found the ID of a female employee and around $200 cash (allegedly belonging to the employee) in Alexis’ purse. Cops were called.
The story goes on to explain that the sisters played dumb and were let go after the employee was given back her property. TMZ doesn’t mention if the cameras were rolling while all of this is going on, but I would assume that this incident will be played out on their show. This is, after all, their whole bit.
Generally these shows are harmless, if not kind of great. Look at how well things worked out with those Kardashian sisters. But what are we watching Pretty Wild for? If I wanted to see vapid nobodies doing morally bankrupt things on E!, I’d ask for the Olly Girls back. (Miss you, Olly Girls.)
Although Ashton Kutcher’s kind of gone off the old-head-end the past few years and settled “happily” into the sticky domestic web that Demi Moore has single-handedly spun, you’ve really seen no drama, no scandals and no public arguments about which vegan-friendly joint to schedule for their next dinner party. The two seem like a nice, relatively-normal pair, am I right?
Don’t speak too soon: toxic smog-green reports are beginning to swirl around Demi Moore, Kim Kardashian and Ashton Kutcher and it all has to do with some sekkkshul attraction.
Sources close to Moore state that she’s becoming unhinged over a “harmless” crush that husband, Kutcher, has developed on Keeping Up With the Kardashians star, Kim Kardashian. The same sources state that Ashton flirts shamlessly with the sweet-bodied reality star and entrepreneur — and Demi’s pissed.
But then again, the reports are toxic smog-green because they’re originating from the National Enquirer, but you never do know, do you. That’s the rag that broke the John Edwards/Rielle Hunter story, so take it with a grain of salt … and a shot of tequila. You can bet Demi’s going to be hitting the hooch pretty hard if these insecurities pan out to be real-life trouble.
Today’s a pretty big news day for people like us, kind of. CoCo O’Brien signed a new deal with, of all stations, TBS, the Weinsteins had a “secret weekend meeting” that resulted in a $600 million dollar bid for Miramax, and Jim Carrey wants us all to know that he has his shit together. But there’s something much more important than all of that, you guys. My really awesome friend Blaire pointed me to something far more awesome (and NSFW) than all of that. It’s a video of some freakin’ amazing young man wearing his sisters clothes and singing and dancing to Rihanna’s “Rude Boy”.
I know that it’s only, what? April? There’s probably still snow on the ground in some parts of the country. I don’t know, I’m not a meteorologist. Point is: I think that we’ve already found the Summer 2010 anthem. I’m going to call it now. So what if this song came out like, two months ago? Rude Boy is a forever-jam.
At least that’s who I remember them to be, but then again, they stopped being relevant ten years ago, too, so the fact that I remember them just. that. way. is about as surprising as Ricky Martin coming out of the closet.
Heather Locklear, the Xena of Xanax-hoarding, and her long-term boyfriend, Jack Wagner have called it quits after like, thirty-five years of togetherness. In all reality, they dated for about three or something, but when you’re Hollywood’s most boring couple, three seems like what real life might be like for a celebrity.
Locklear claimed that the relationship was taking away from precious time spent with her daughter, but I think she just wanted to sleep more, take more downers and weep at old episodes of Melrose Place.
Once I get a hold of Barbie’s plastic surgeon, I’m going to find out just the secret … then I will market the amazing compound known as Heidi’s faux-skin to Yankee Candle and I will make fucking millions off of ever-burning candles.
How does this shit even tan without shriveling up, smoking and turning black in the same way cigarette-pack cellophane does when you expose it to too much heat?
IDFK, man.
Heidi Montag was photographed this past weekend looking like the wax-version of herself (and hell, who can really tell … maybe the Madame Tussaud’s figure’s been making appearances lately — you never would know) and somehow avoids melting in the hot, hot sun.
How bizarre.
The middle-aged guys and the girl with the paunchy stomach in the background? Even they’re wondering the same thing: WTF.
PS, Heidi: Your pube-stubble’s showing. There’s gotta be some kind of waxy overlay that you can apply to prevent hair follicles from sprouting, kid. Have at it!
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