Hayden Panettiere and her boxing champ boyfriend Wladimir Klitskco were photographed grabbing coffee this morning and I have to ask, “Oh my God, Danny DeVito!? Is that you!? I love your work!” You guys, for real. He’s a least a foot bigger than her in every direction. How do these two “do it”? And you know they’re doing a lot. This looks like “one of those things”, you know? Anyway, I’m genuinely curious. It seems like it’d be similar to that True Life: I’m Dating a Little Person special that was on MTV back in the day.

For a minute there it seemed like Elin Nordegren was going to remain married to Tiger Woods, but with many reports suggesting that Elin is leaving her husband and taking off to her native Sweden for good, it looks like Tiger may just wind up alone in the States with his Whore Buffet.

From TMZ:

Elin Nordegren is fixing up the house on her newly purchased property in her native Sweden — proof that it may be the spot where Elin’s headed to rebuild her life.

As we previously reported, Tiger Woods‘ current wife picked up the $2 million home late last year — a home that could only be described as a dump, at best.

But now, new photos reveal that a major renovation is underway on the property — and we’re told the builders are trying to get everything done by the summer.

A move like this could be exactly what Elin needs to have a chance at a new life with her children. My attitude is that you need to do whatever you can to make your children happy, and staying at home with a father like that is not going to yield positive results. If Elin and the kids can escape to a new country where they can rebuild a life and not be dragged down by their association with Tiger, than the should do it as quickly as possible.

The legendary Catherine Zeta-Jones was recently photographed for Allure magazine and sources claim that she was photoshopped and airbrushed into oblivion. However, I beg to differ. You can’t make anything better by airbrushing if it’s already fucking perfect.

Zeta-Jones has always been around the top of my list for Most Beautiful Women and it’s probably because this lady’s going to look gorgeous at eighty-eight, even without the God-knows-what-kind of technology they’ll have then. I shudder to think, but merely knowing that someone as lovely as Zeta-Jones exists, spits in the face of digital photo alterations.

Catherine posed for Allure and answered some questions, as per normal, and I don’t really give a crap about the base answers because I’m too busy browsing the gallery showcase of her amazingness. However, if you’re interested in finding out what she’s got to say about … stuff, here it is:

On her plans for the future: The actress’s plan for her family, which includes husband Michael Douglas and their two young children: living on a boat and sailing around the world. “I wouldn’t be surprised if [we do] that,” she says.

Going naked for the photo shoot: When it was time for the nude portion of the shoot, Zeta-Jones promptly dropped her robe. “That’s when your dancing days and being in theater pay off,” she said. “When you’re doing a quick change, you don’t give a shit who sees you.”

On being in the trenches with Michael: “The only person I want to be in the trenches with is Michael. You know he’s got your back.”

On having a hard knock life: “I left school at 15,” Zeta-Jones says of her life experiences. “I’ve been on the road all my life. I’ve seen a lot; I’ve heard a lot. And you grow up really kind of quick.”

Enjoy the photos of the always-elegant Catherine Zeta-Jones below. Airbrush aside, if I look half that good when I’m forty, I’m considering myself to be damn, damn lucky.

With this being judge Simon Cowell’s last year, I thought the show was going to go to pieces. But then they brought on Ellen, whom I adore and I rationalized that they’d never cancel the show after one season of Ellen judging. She’s as big as Santa Claus … or at least Oprah, at any rate. She’d only sign on if this were something “serious,” right?

Well, sources have definitely confirmed that bandleader “Rickey Minor” will be leaving American Idol after the end of this season to pursue a career on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.

The 2010 season of American Idol is said to close on or around the end of May and representatives for Minor state that he’ll start his new gig with Leno on June 7th of this year.

I have a feeling … that FOX network is trying to sneak-attack everyone with these abrupt show cancellations. First 24 (my favorite show, like, in all of the world’s history of television) and now it looks like American Idol.

This was gonna be my year, man. I’d frittered and wasted so many years leading up to the 2010 season of American Idol and dammit, I promised myself that tryouts for the 2011 season were mine. The National Enquirer claims to have info stating that Idol won’t end until 2012 — and that’ll be a good thing. For me.

If FOX cancels this show before I get my audition … dude, there’s going to be hell to pay.

For someone who’s had more pussy than the local animal shelter, Hugh Hefner doesn’t admire Jesse James or Tiger Woods for their marital infidelities — and not because they were caught.

Hefner speaks to Page Six and about Jesse James, states:

“When you get married, you make a commitment. I had a lot of girlfriends, but it’s not the same as cheating. I don’t cheat. I am very open about what I do . . . Sandra Bullock’s husband looks like a real creep. I think that when you are in a relationship, you should be honest. The real immorality of infidelity is the lying.”

When asked if Tiger can overcome his philandering ways, his words for the golf guru weren’t as warm:

” … But this whole idea that it’s a sex addiction is a copout. Some people become obsessed with sex, but it’s not like an alcohol or drug addiction. He did it because he could get away with it.”

Wow, Hef. I didn’t know you had it in you to be so … judgmental. I agree with what you’re saying, but then I can, because I’m not the one sitting in sunny California with mistresses stacked upon mistresses feeding me grapes and giving my boys (if I had any) Sitz baths.

Kirstie Alley was on Ellen’s show today to plug her new show and while she was there she confirmed that her 17-year old son True is engaged to be married. And she’s happy for him. Because he’s mature.

Kirstie Alley is such a strange creature. She’s got this whole “I’m kooky and funny” thing going on, but she’s way more kooky than she is funny and sometimes that freaks me out. There’s the Scientology thing and then the public battle with her weight and of course, her Twitter has revealed all sorts of crazy that we didn’t even know about. But this news seems beyond all that. Who that doesn’t live in the 1800s and doesn’t have a pregnant daughter act happy about their 17-year old’s engagement? Most people really love their high school sweethearts. Miley Cyrus is in love! Demi Lovato is in love! That doesn’t mean they should be putting rings on it.

Kirstie admits she doesn’t know the first thing about marriage considers both of hers (at ages 19 and 30) failed, but that doesn’t stop her from going on national television and confirming news about her son’s love life.

Call me modern, but shouldn’t he be backpacking through Europe solo on his parents money and boning socialites because his mom is famous in the U.S. and like, doing blow in NY and raving with alternative teenagers in South America and living life? He’s a celebrity kid. He’s got at least another 10, 15 years ahead of him. Why should he settle down now?