Things seem to be going well for you, dear.

(At some ridiculous self-promotion event in NYC.)

What’s he going to call his debut fragrance, Yippie Ki-Yay Motherfucker? ‘Cause unless he did, I’d probably not be so interested in finding out what a manly-man like Bruce Willis thinks smells hot.

Sources confirm that Willis has signed a deal with a German perfume house, LR Health and Beauty Systems, and is eager to get his newest business endeavor up and running.

Whatever it is he’s hawking, it looks like it’ll be on the market for July 1st.

Good luck Bruce, but I’m sure you’ll be successful anyway. You’re the “one who negotiates million dollar deals for breakfast.” You got this.

At the LOFT launch of Style Studio at The Bowery Hotel in NYC.

First things first: If you don’t watch Glee, and you’re wondering why everyone has been spending the past 24 hours talking about dolphins being gay sharks, here’s why:

That chick Heather Morris who plays Brittany does the best TV ditz I’ve ever seen in my whole life.

When I talk about Glee, people are always like, “Dude, is that actually the actors singing?” The answer is yes. Many of the stars are cast from Broadway. Matthew Morrison (Mr. Shuester) starred in Hairspray, Lea Michele (Rachel Barry) played Young Cosette and later originated the role of Wendla in Spring Awakening (if you haven’t heard that soundtrack, GET IT OMG GET IT), Jenna Noelle Ushkowitz (Tina) did The King and I and Spring Awakening and Kristen Chenoweth (who guest starred as April Rhodes last season) is a Broadway goddess, but is perhaps best known for originating Glinda in Wicked.

But what I just put together is that this season’s latest musical vixen — Shelby Corcoran, the coach of the rival glee club and Shuester’s new love interest) — is Idina Menzel, who originated the role of Elphaba in Wicked (opposite Kristen Chenoweth). So, like, when I’m in my bedroom blasting “Defying Gravity,” that’s who I’m listening to. OMG I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL SHE SINGS. But before she did Wicked, she — get this! — originated the role of Maureen in Rent, which is where she met total hottie Taye Diggs, who was playing Bennie in that production several years before the whole world fell in love with him on the big screen in How Stella Got Her Groove Back. AND NOW THEY ARE MARRIED AND HAVE A BABY. SO HOT AND AWESOME.

Is that waaaaaay more Broadway info than you wanted from a celebrity gossip blog so early in the morning? WELL I’M NOT SORRY.

But here’s a kind of funny mockery of the Glee in 60 Seconds promo anyway:

Hey, do you have the Spring Awakening soundtrack yet? GET IT.

Nah, I’m actually just joshin’. Lovato tweeted a photo of herself looking a bit worse for the wear earlier today, but it’s just a sneak-peak at her upcoming stint on Grey’s Anatomy.

The episode, “Sonny With a Chance”, debuts next month and centers around Lovato’s schizophrenic episodes and subsequent hospitalization at Seattle Grace.

Will you be watching — you know, even though it wasn’t Joe Jonas who clawed her eyes out, and hell, why should he?  It’s not like she keeps fawning over him and swooning all over the place about how dreamy and prince-y he is or anything.

Gibson’s at it again, and by “again,” I mean “lovin’ and leavin’ the ladies that put up with his asshattiness.”

If you recall, Gibson and his long-time wife, Robyn, split back in 2006 and wifey filed for divorce earlier in 2009. Even before the divorce was finalized (and I’m not even sure it is as of this point in time), Gibson was alleged to be hooking up with Oksana Grigorieva, a Russian pianist. The rumors were confirmed and it eventually came out that the Russian-born Oksana was carrying the spawn of Satan Gibson’s child in her womb. Well, after almost an entire year of blissful togetherness, (and five months of their child’s life already lived), Gibson has pulled the trigger on their union, citing reasons like, uh, they “drifted apart.”

Yeah, that can sometimes happen in such short time … like twelve months.

This BS sounds like high school. I quite vividly remember hanging out with a female friend of mine in the bathroom between classes, applying makeup and smoking cigarettes. After a long old-Hollywood-style drag of her cigarette, she dramatically told me that she and her “boyfriend” of ten months were calling it quits because they’d just “grown apart” and didn’t have the “same big picture” in mind. Then she just-as-dramatically butted her cigarette in the sink and with a wave of her bleached-blonde hair, stalked out of the bathroom and left me speechless.

I was left behind thinking, “Wow. That’s one deep chick. She really knows what’s going on, man. She gets the big fucking picture.” And I’m sure that there are some people in some circles that’ll think that Mel and Oksana’s juvenile sort of break up is big time, too. But they’re probably all under the age of fifteen — or at least are in mind, anyway.

Such a bizarre set of circumstances. And Mel Gibson? Jaysus.

Just … damn, Mel. What happened? You’re kinda mad talented and you were once such a normal dude, but at some point there, that normalcy broke off as abruptly as your acting career did.

Get a grip!