Apr 16, 2010 at 07:17 am by Sarah

Good old Papa Lohan has taken to his Twitter once again to display the fine piece of man that he is.

Sorry for the obvious visual, but I had to share just what made me hack up the rest of last night’s dinner into my mouth. Like an alley cat with a nasty intestinal infection from eating day-old sushi that’d been warmed in the city sun. That kind of sick.

Enjoy!

Apr 16, 2010 at 07:12 am by Sarah

Exclusive eyewitness at X17 claim that Britney is bludgeoning her boyfriend, Jason Trawick. The incident occurred earlier this week when Brit and Jason were traveling in a vehicle and had pulled over to, well, fight. The source states that Britney was seen “slapping and hitting” Jason in the face during an argument in the parked car. The photographer that witnessed the incident claimed that Britney hit Jason directly in the face five or six times and claimed that they had “never seen anything like it.” The photographer states:

“Britney was really upset. It looked like she was taking out years of frustration on Jason when she was hitting him. It wasn’t like this was anger from one incident. It looks like she hates the guy! Why would you do that to someone you love?”

The Enquirer and In Touch are now spinning the story, speculating as to why Britney’s flipped out again. The Enquirer states that Britney went apeshit when Trawick denied her marriage proposal:

An enraged Britney Spears punched her boyfriend-watchdog Jason Trawick in the face after he flatly refused her plea to get married, an insider tells The Enquirer.

The 28-year-old pop star believes tying the knot is the best tactic to terminate her father’s conservatorship over her affairs, according to sources. But Jason, 38, balked at her marriage talk during a meeting with her lawyers, sending Britney into a rage.

“Britney thought getting married would be a good strategy to bring an end to her father’s conservatorship, but Jason wasn’t on board with it at all,” divulged the insider.

“Britney has begged Jason to marry her, and he’s repeatedly told her no. When the meeting with her lawyers didn’t go her way, it put Britney in a horrible mood.”

After the meeting – a seething Britney and Jason – a William Morris agent who was hired by her father Jamie Spears to monitor her – headed to Barneys to shop, said the insider.

“Britney walked into Barneys hopping mad, and wanted Jason to buy her almost everything she saw,” said the insider. “Even worse, she treated Jason like a servant in front of the store’s staff, and he got increasingly irritated.”

When Jason told Britney that they had to head home, she blew up, said the source.

“She started cursing him and threatened to end his career,” said the source.

“Jason quickly led Britney out of the store and she got behind the wheel of her car, a white Mercedes SUV. She started screaming at the top of her lungs, and as she drove off, she started to slap, hit and punch Jason.”

When she finally stopped pummeling him, a stunned Jason announced that he was quitting his job as her minder, said the source.

Sources at X17 confirm the story, only this time, they’ve got a key eyewitness to back it up instead of relying on rags like the Enquirer to back up their sometimes-futile claims.

If this is true in any case, poor Jason. And poor Britney. We’ve all seen that violence is so not a way to deal with domestic issues, but sometimes the demons of humans get the best of them, anyway, and these are the kinds of reapings that we end up with. Way sad.

Apr 16, 2010 at 06:18 am by Sarah

Guess our boho-tressed girlfriend had a little meltdown earlier in the month after a live taping of American Idol. After claiming that she “hated” the “attention” of the show because she couldn’t handle it (oh, come on), she admitted to Ryan and other individuals that she was throwing in the towel on the entire competition and had decided to head home to her family in Ohio. The ordeal was said to go down in an “empty lot” behind the studios one night after an episode wrapped.

Seacrest, who was apparently there, made no bones about his thoughts toward her winning this year’s entire competition; eyewitnesses claim that Seacrest told Crystal that if she won the competition, she’s receive a recording contract and reap all the benefits of being a millionaire. Seacrest went on to play the sympathy card by saying, “The greatest thing I ever did was make enough money so I could buy my mom a house. You can buy your mom a house.”

Damn, the drama. I mean, hissy fits in empty parking lots? Holy, crazy tension.  I can just imagine: the other Idol contestants, circling like vultures, leering and pulling faces while snapping the intro to “Jets and Sharks.” A spotlight emerges from a hidden alcove on the building’s exterior, illuminating the silhouettes of Bowersox and Seacrest so that they appear to be radiant beings of golden light — a fight to the finish.

Melodrama’s so thick you can almost chew it.

Apr 15, 2010 at 02:22 pm by Molls

R&B singer-turned actress-turned rapper Brandy Norwood took to her Vibe.com blog to hate on bloggers that hate on her, her gross brother Ray-J, his girlfriend Kelly Rowland and the fact that she killed a girl with her car a couple years ago and never did any time for it. Not only is Brandy lucky as hell that anyone still cares about her OR her brother, but attacking people for “hating on you” seems like a pretty rookie move for someone who’s been famous since she was a tween, you know?

Here’s some of the blog:

People think that you being strong doesn’t mean things don’t hurt your feelings. That’s not what being strong means. I’m a very strong person, but some of those things that people say about me on blogs make me cry. I don’t like it. And what’s so frustrating is that I don’t get a chance to retaliate. Because y’all are not posting y’all pictures on the blogs. I can’t respond and I can’t be negative back because that’s just not me.

But sometimes some of the things that people say about me and my best friends and people that I care about, like my brother and Kelly Rowland, I want to go in on those people, but I can’t. But that stuff hurts. It really hurts. Sometimes we don’t read the comments because of what we’ve seen people say in the past about us. Okay, you don’t like my shoes, you don’t like my outfit, cool, but the rest of it, like bringing up the car accident?

People just go too far. Way too far. But people are going to be who they are. As long as I’m not like that, and even if I wasn’t me and I was tweeting about another celebrity, I would never say anything bad about somebody like that. I’m glad that I’m that type of a person.

Blah, blah, blah. You get the gist.

Sure, I’m sure that it hurts to read mean things about yourself on the Internet. But you know what doesn’t hurt? Money. Go be rich, Brandy. I saw that show you had when you were married to that dude and pregnant. Your baby special or whatever. You’re rich, Brandy. Who cares?

Apr 15, 2010 at 02:13 pm by Molls

I don’t want to stress anyone out about making sure their taxes are done today, but you really gotta get them done. You don’t want to be like Michael Lohan (ever, but especially in this case), who currently owes over 12 grand in back taxes to the IRS. Who’s going to give him a loan for that? Lindsay? His BFF Jon Gosselin? Perhaps his ex-wife will take pity on him and throw him some change– OK, OK, now I’m just being mean.

Seriously though, get it done. TurboTax isn’t that bad and if you have the 300 bucks, I had a really positive experience at an H&R Block a couple years ago.

Apr 15, 2010 at 11:44 am by Sarah

Stop the presses: Lindsay Lohan’s drunk. Again. [Celebslam]

Check out this promo for the one and only Nobel prize-winning reality recap webshow.

They’re releasing an anniversary edition of Showgirls. Elizabeth Berkeley still looks like a fish fifteen years later. [popbytes]

Did you watch any of The Pacific, or is that reserved for nerds like me? [Pajiba]

Angelina Jolie dishes on “castration.” Is that what Brad’s been up to these days? [Celebitchy]

Do you like your female celebrities hairy? [Zelda Lily]

Jennifer Love Hewitt changes her hair length as much as she changes her preferred penile length. [Litely Salted]

Justin Timberlake spends his time bitching about his girlfriend behind her back. Surprised? [Allie is Wired]

Courtney Love’s gonna put a hex on Robert Pattinson. Or something. [Amy Grindhouse]

The Gosselin children have been “damaged” by their parents’ crazy antics. [Betty Confidential]