If this isn’t reality TV Armageddon, then we haven’t seen shit yet, I guess.  Or maybe we have, with this illustrious array of tool-coated shit stinking up prime-time television these crazy days.

King Spencer Pratt’s production company, the aptly-named Pratt Productions, has its clouded, germy eye set on a concept for a new show: Fist-Pumping For Love.

I … just want to hang myself for even having typed that.

But anyway, Pratt claims he’s joining forces with Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’s ex, Emilio Masella, to develop, produce and market his new show concept, which would feature Masella traveling ’round the US, trying to find his “real” Guidette princess. Masella, after being denied by The Real World (and you must be a total tool if you’ve been axed by that token cesspool collective of people) states that he doesn’t want fame (cough … yeahfuckinright), he just wants a “real” girl:

Snooki’s probably rolling over in her … bed right now.  Which is probably littered with greasy condom wrappers, half-melted Hershey chocolate bar pieces, crunched-up Doritos and Mike’s Hard Lemonade bottle caps.

You’ve created a monster, Snook.  Great job.

In light of the recent rib injury that Rihanna suffered … that I didn’t even hear about — she’s spoken out to her UK fans, telling them that she has no intention of cancelling shows because of the minor problem.

Reps for Rihanna confirm that the singer did, indeed, suffer a rib injury during a recent tour stop in Switzerland, but she’s recovering nicely and will not deviate from her jam-packed tour schedule. Rihanna spoke to the London-based Evening Standard newspaper regarding her injury:

“Eventually, I had to have it checked out. My ribs are still hurting, but I will be raring to go by London … I’ve had a few injuries, and one thing made another worse.”

Well, good on her. Unless, you know, her injury entailed being, like, pinched on her side by a fan or something, rib injuries are no fucking joke. I had a bruised rib once and it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I’d rather go through childbirth twice over than have any rib-damage. On the real.

Congrats to Rihanna for not succumbing to the minor ailments that other touring performers sometimes do. You’ve proved it before and this only perpetuates the idea — you’re one strong lady!

Speedy recoveries, girl!

Pamela Anderson’s working on some kind of cumback comeback, Victoria’s Secret models dish on everything and Gabourey Sidibe is being stalked, yo. [Betty Confidential]

Holy titties, Holly Madison! [Celebslam]

Lisa Kudrow gives the best advice possible. For her situation, I mean. [popbytes]

Ha ha ha … Guess who’s stalking your ass on Facebook? [Pajiba]

Britney’s been harnessed. [Celebitchy]

Bristol Palin’s PSA: cheap shot or valid point? [Zelda Lily]

Yeah, let’s give Russell Crowe swords to play with. In public. [Litely Salted]

Jessica Alba can’t cook. [Allie is Wired]

Chelsea Handler, porn star? [Amy Grindhouse]

Wow, Jake Gyllenhaal. Wow. Are you seeing this, Reese Witherspoon? [omg blog]

It’s just what they want you to do at this point so be a pal and lose it, alright?

TMZ spoke with the weird-assed couple and both parties claimed that everything that went down was embellished for dramatic purposes and they just want to be left alone about it now.

Jameson tells TMZ:

“What actually happened has now been dramatically distorted and misinterpreted and remarks that both Tito and I made after the police arrived reflect the state of shock that we were both in.”

Tito’s lawyer has spoken out on his behalf and says that the entire situation was “a big misunderstanding.”

Read: We’re both really unstable individuals and don’t want Child Protective Services to get involved, so we’re pulling the plug on the dramz.

Noted guys, thanks.

And piss off and expect a really long backlash if you don’t agree!

Rinna wigged out on one of her Twitter followers for saying that she had horrible lips. The heckler stated:

“Sorry Lisa, but your lips look awful…how on Earth do you think that looks good?”

Rinna then responded:

“Shame on you! How rude! If you cannot say anything nice then don’t say anything at all!!”

And:

” … as a group, we must stop cyber bullying. It’s not right.”

And she didn’t even let it go there:

“I’m a big girl I can handle the haters BUT what about our young people who can’t and it destroys their self esteem?!! This must stop!”

I’m not saying I disagree with the anti-bullying sentiment, because I think bullying is totally out of control these days, but … Uh, Lisa, you make it sound like you were born with those lips and that it’s not your fault that they look like lopsided labia superglued to your jaw. I just can’t take your back on this one.  You have stupid-looking lips and it’s because you made them that way.  Get the fuck over it.

PS – This is what Lisa’s totally going to look like in ten years.

And I don’t think I’m a 26 year-old Caucasian female, either. I must have been mistaken at some point in life.

Hunter sits down for an interview with Oprah today (make sure you tune in!) and in anticipation of the Big Interview, quotes from the interview have been released as bait for the public. This is to be Hunter’s first “real” television appearance since allegations of the John Edwards affair broke and Rielle’s not keeping quiet this time, hell no.

In a promo for today’s show, Oprah claims that Hunter “doesn’t think she’s a homewrecker,” and “does not think she played a key role in breaking up the Edwards’ marriage.”

As for a continuation of a Hunter/Edwards intimate relationship? “That’s private,” Rielle claims, and laughs.

So. Homewrecker, fame-whore, misunderstood or d) none of the above?