Looks like Paris got dumped by Doug the Douche … not the other way around. [Celebslam]

Bea Arthur hates McDonald’s posthumously. [popbytes]

So, have you caved and started watching Glee yet? [Pajiba]

Jillian Michaels wants to adopt and not because it’s the noble thing to do. [Celebitchy]

You should totally check out Someday Melissa when it’s finished. [Zelda Lily]

The Black Eyed Peas were the bomb bombed last night on AI. [Litely Salted]

Jennifer Love Hewitt seduces Robert Pattinson with compliments. Look the fuck out, Kristen: JLH is on the prowl. [Allie is Wired]

Jennifer Lopez talks about her belly flab post-baby. [Amy Grindhouse]

Tori Spelling gets a daytime talk show. Wow. [Betty Confidential]

I’ve kind of lost track of Hudson since she played Penny Lane in Almost Famous. It’s been that long since she’s really piqued any kind of interest on my celebrity radar. But since her “boobs” are such a high point of contention this week, I thought I’d bring it to the “who gives a fuck” table to see who, indeed, actually gives said fuck.

Hudson was photographed earlier this week and because her chest was a bit fuller than normal, the tabloids naturally began to wonder if she got a boob job. I’ll say: I saw the photos in question and if she did get a tit job, they were itty-bitty titties from the bargain basement — bitches were are small. But if that is the case, good for her for not pulling a Heidi “Quadruple J” Montag.  Subtlety is nice.

However, since the actress obviously isn’t owning up to a brand-new set of silicone sag-wagons, no one can really prove whether or not she had the boobs done. Because of this fact — and because her little tummy’s looked kind of swollen in the last few photos taken —  the rumor mill’s starting to grind out The Obligatory Pregnancy Rumor.

So, if you care … Boobs, bloat, baby or bullshit?

“It just comes with the territory. That, in particular, is not even worth wasting the breath to comment on. I’ve been around for over a decade and I think my work speaks for myself.”

Christina Aguilera addresses the constant whispers that she’s trying to emulate Lady Gaga in music and appearance.

Akon recently states that there’s nothing new about the singer’s attempt to copy Gaga’s music and names her upcoming album, Bionic a “junior” attempt at trying to be like the Lady herself.

When Akon brought his copycat accusations to the table earlier this month, Christina retorted by saying she wasn’t going to … retort:

“It just comes with the territory. That, in particular, is not even worth wasting the breath to comment on. I’ve been around for over a decade and I think my work speaks for itself … I probably would have engaged, and been a little upset. It’s not even worth the time anymore, there’s a bigger picture out there. There’s too much good to be pent up with someone else’s negativity.”

So what do you guys think? Is she a little, let’s say, “similar” to Gaga with her latest album or has Aguilera just been ’round long enough to know that even when cut-throat innovation fades, talent and reinvention rule?

And now your life is complete. Thank Barry Sonnenfeld or your lucky stars or something.

Although Smith confirmed, like, years ago that he’d be willing to do a third installment of the Men in Black series, sources state that they had a hell of a time getting Tommy Lee Jones to commit a return to his recurring role, but no one’s really sure why.  Jones’ latest movies include In the Electric Mist (uh, didn’t see it), The Company Men (again, didn’t see it) and No Country For Old Men (which was great, but it was done in 2007).  You wouldn’t think he’d be so reticent  to recap his role as Agent Kay in a franchise that made almost a billion dollars in ticket sales between its two movies.

The movie’s set to release around the end of May, 2011.

Think this’ll do as well as the other two did in theaters, considering it’s been what, eight or nine years since the sequel was released?

Lady luck found us some lovely photos of Jersey Shore‘s Jenni Farley yesterday, otherwise known in the seedy bar scene as “JWoww.”

Woww rocked an orange-y sun dress kind of thing while in Miami earlier this week.  Her wardrobe choice kind of honestly surprised me. Woww normally follows a strict regimen in the way she chooses clothing ensembles: Does it have a low-cut dip-to-my-bellybutton slit? Check. If I bend over far enough, will you be able to see what I ate for yesterday’s breakfast? Check! Does this shade of [fill in the blank] clash amazingly with my perma-tan? Fuck, check again!

Nah, Farley.  You don’t look awful in these photo.  But also, that’s not a nursing pad stuffed into the left tit of your dress, is it? I mean, damn, woman. I know some dudes think lactating women are hot, but who’s watching the kid? The Sitch and his mega-moobs?

In light of her devastating removal from Dancing With the Stars, you’d think that softie Jon Gosselin would be layering the sympathy on his ex-wife, Kate, in an effort to butter her up for … Wait, what the fuck am I saying? The only thing “soft” about Jon Gosselin is that half-deflated tire he’s starting to carry around his middle.  Strike that, reverse it.

Jon’s going after Kate full-boar, now that she’s been kicked off of DWTS and claims that he’s going to really stick it to her during their upcoming court battle over child custody.

Even though Kate’s dancing stint is over, reps for Jon state (he’s got those?) that it won’t end here: she’ll have another bunch of opportunities to promote herself whether it’s with the upcoming shows on TLC or some other back-room, discount appearance that’ll detract from the attention she claims to place on her kids.

The court date is looming — and Jon’s not giving up without a fight (even though, in reality, he hasn’t got a cupcake’s chance in Oprah’s house). J Gosselin is fighting for primary custody of his eight children in addition to child support payments. ‘Cause, really, that’s what this is all about: child support payments. The kids, I’m guessing, are just a, uh … paternal bonus.