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28Although I Love Jessica Simpson, She Really Grossed Me the Fuck Out Today.

Simpson recently sat with Ellen DeGeneres for an interview and let slip some pretty disturbing news: she only brushes her teeth every other day.

Okay, coming from someone who has a severe dental hygiene compulsion (ahem, me), this is really, really disturbing news.

Simpson claims that she doesn’t like to brush her teeth every day because she hates that slippery, clean feeling and doesn’t like the way her lips, ah, “slide all over her teeth”:

“My teeth are so white and I don’t like them to feel too slippery. But I do use Listerine and I do floss everyday … But I don’t brush them everyday. I’ll use a shirt or something.”

Oh, ew, ew, ew!  Come on, my skin is crawling!  Jess, hon, the whole point of brushing your teeth, other than to get the food and crap off your teeth is to make sure you don’t build tartar up under the gum line which is gross beyond gross.

Oh, Jess.  You claim that you like your teeth “coated” with “plaque” … Keep this in mind: once they finally rot out of your head, you’ll miss that gross, old slippery cleanliness.

I guess we finally did find out what the hell was up with Lady Simpson’s mouth.

April 28, 2010 at 11:45 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Jessica Simpson

28 Responses to “Although I Love Jessica Simpson, She Really Grossed Me the Fuck Out Today.”

  1. donkeyjones says:

    calm down! I only brush my teeth every 4 or 5 days.

  2. archphoenix says:

    I’m more grossed out that she uses her SHIRT. WTF is that about?

  3. DarkEmpress says:

    I’m not sure if not brushing will really affect her teeth that much since she flosses and uses listerine. Flossing gets all the food out from between your teeth and rinsing with listerine should pick up other bits of leftover food. Bad breath is from you tongue though, so maybe all the gum she chews helps with that.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I’d still make out with her, no matter how often she brushes.

  5. Anonymous says:

    big fuckin’ deal

  6. Would still do her says:

    Any day of the week.

  7. Stupid Fly says:

    ewwwa….Remember on her 1st reality show, she had to get a root canal. Who the hell gets a root canal at that age unless they don’t brush their teeth!!

  8. Good Lord says:

    Once she gets a new boyfriend and starts sucking dick again she”ll go back to a normal brushing regimen.

  9. JESSIE MC TITTY says:

    ORAL HYGEINE ASIDE I’M STILL NOT DOING HER NO MATTER HOW MUCH SHE BEGS

  10. evilbeetdouche says:

    If she’s that nasty with her mouth, just imagine what that gash is like. Rotten catfish on a hot summer day.

  11. Dizzle says:

    I don’t care about her brushing habits, I only care about those big-ass titties.

  12. Anonymous says:

    Flossing is more important than brushing anyways.

  13. Tako says:

    The whole time i was watching it, all i could think about was: did she get a boob job??? Like wow.. Since when does she have those big twins?…. But yeah, the teeth thing is gross…

    • Anonymous says:

      she’s always had “those big twins”.
      and actually..
      they’re the reason she never made it in the christian music industry.

    • misscogito says:

      yeah, since always. remember that creepy comment her father made about “not being able to keep those puppies down” or something

  14. you disgusting little large breasted woman!

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