Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I Guess Tom Hanks Plays a Middle-Aged Convenience Store Manager With Bad Hair Plugs in His Next Movie

The always-epic Hanks was photographed during filming for his newest flick … uh, yeah, I don’t even know what the hell he’s doing to be honest with you. I know he’s doing some pre-production Toy Story 3 shooting and he’s still actively working on stuff with The Pacific, but he’s got to be doing something else on the side, just judging by his apparel. I couldn’t imagine him intentionally rocking a U-Mart polo, let alone a red one that’d clash so nicely with his newly-chestnut-colored locks.

Please, someone tell me that he somehow knows my semi-retired Uncle Jed — the one who always wears those grandpa shoes and has the skinniest ankles I’ve ever seen and so Hanks is mocking him in the most vividly accurate way possible. I couldn’t bear it if that weren’t the truth.

At any rate, I’m confused. What’s he supporting? A convenience store? A computer supply chain? Your local Salvation Army?

Way to be vague, Tommy.

Way.  To be.  Vague.

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