Hailey “What the fuck are you wearing/Thanks for the eye herp” Glassman, ex of Jon Gosselin, states that she’s been offered her own reality show.

Pardon me while I go pick my jaw up off the floor and launder my soiled pants.

Glassman states that the concept of the show will revolve around the endeavor of “leaving New York and all the negative” behind her. The show will be called, appropriately, Starting Over and will chronicle her move from being a NY ho to an LA ho New York to LA.

Hailey states that LA “could be fun” and that she might be the biggest “trainwreck” out there.

Look out, Lohan … Looks like you have competition. Or a kindred soul.

This is a really sad story, actually.

Joey McIntyre, famed for his 90′s boy-band New Kids on the Block, received the blessing of a healthy new child born into his family three months ago. The male child goes by the name of Rhys.

When Rhys was born, it was apparent to Joey and family that the child had hearing issues. The child had also failed the preliminary hearing test in the hospital before the mother and child were released to go home. Post-care follow-up tests showed that baby Rhys had extensive hearing loss.

The news naturally hit the new parents hard; Joey felt a “range of emotions” when learning of his son’s disability, and his wife claimed that she felt responsible:

“You’re just shocked, and your stomach gets in knots … It feels like you’re holding your breath. And that feeling lasted for a few days, until you get educated. You go from, ‘Oh my God’ — fearing that someday my son might be walking into the street and I’m calling after him and he’s not going to hear me — to ‘It’s going to be okay’ to ‘It’s going to be amazing.’ Rhys’ hearing loss is part of who he is. His life is going to be as special as Griffin’s [McIntyre's other child]. There’s just work involved.”

McIntyre and wife spoke to People magazine about their journey to restore Rhys’ hearing and claimed that they will stop at nothing to do what they can in order to make the child feel comfortable with this setback.

Joey and family state that they plan to send the child to speech therapy in order to reduce the side effects of hearing loss. The McIntyre’s also had Rhys fit with hearing aids in order to restore even a minimal amount of hearing. Despite the child’s disability, his parents claim that he’s a well-adjusted child that thrives in every other area in his young life and that the hearing aids have been a huge help. McIntyre’s wife, Barrett, states that Rhys is a “cool” baby and claims that even though the child is only three months old, he’s already adapted to so much and will hopefully continue to do so as he grows:

“He’s really easy-going; he has that chill vibe .. Rhys’ hearing loss won’t stop him from doing anything. That’s not to say his first day of school or when he goes to high school, I won’t be sick; It’s hard enough to go to school with curly hair and a zit. But he’ll be so cool that hopefully he won’t have a problem with it.”

This is really sad.  I mean, we rag on celebrities all of the time, but a lot of times we don’t realize that some of them are parents, too, and endure the same types of problems that the rest of us “regular” folk do — no more, no less.

Best wishes to baby Rhys and the rest of the McIntyre clan.

I’ll just bet these pictures prompt so many questions for you.

Like, who’s the creepy red-headed kid in the photos? Yeah, his name is Ben Mills. And he was expelled from his New Jersey university for threatening to slit the throat of one of his female classmates. And also, you’re probably wondering what a skanked-out dude like this is doing with what’s supposed to be an upstanding lady from across the pond, yeah? Evidently, the two met back in 2009 after a detoxification clinic sponsored by the Scientology religion in LA. Peaches Geldof obviously had some mad wool pulled over her eyes when this creepy “ex” — and by “ex” I mean a random that happened to enjoy the same drugs she did at the moment — released photos that were allegedly taken after the detox process and during a heroin-filled sex romp.

After the clinic concluded, the two allegedly drove around LA looking for heroin apparatuses and after obviously finding what they needed, hell, it all went downhill. Mills claimed that the two watched a movie together, and before they knew it, things had gotten “hot and heavy” — and that hotness-and-heaviness clearly involved drugs, really unfortunate lighting, cameras, and poorly-applied eyeliner.

Although Geldof’s lawyers disassociate her from this Mills character and claim that she had nothing to do with him or heroin, there’s no mistaking that this is our lovely Peaches, with her lovely peaches hanging on out, definitely under the influence of something pretty heavy-duty.

Classy.

Evidently, Rebecca Gayheart grunted out her own little bundle of joy about three weeks ago and somehow, I missed this epic milestone in the former Noxema girl’s life.  Gah.  Gayheart gave birth to little Billie Beatrice (a name that I’m actually digging … you know, nothing like ‘Apple’ or ‘Television Remote’) on March 3rd and I missed it because I was on vacation. Never. Happen. Again.

Gayheart was spotted out earlier this week, similar to every other Hollywood staple, looking as if she hadn’t carried a baby in her nether regions for nine months.  In short, she looks fabulous.

Congratulations to Gayheart and husband Eric Dane and hopefully, this child’ll straighten out their crazy, drug-fueled ménage à trois-havin’ asses.

Mya is pictured above at the Closing Party for Rock Media Fashion Week in Miami, Florida.

I’m guessing the ghetto superstar didn’t get the memo that it was, indeed, a fashion expo, ’cause if she had, she wouldn’t have shown up looking like a defunct Sesame Street reject that hit the outside alley for some junkie-love before entering the building.

Beyond that dress, the rest of her looks great and she still seems like the sweet and lovely Mya I remember from high school, but the outfit’s.   gotta.   go.

Who knows, this could be a mere call for help, a crying out of sorts, to ensure that we won’t forget that Mya exists for another eight years.

We won’t, honey.  Not after this, we won’t.

And it’s supposedly not even due to the fact that she’s an anarchy-loving, Nazi-supporting sadist … this is just the way she “rolls.”

Previously, McGee, who is Mistress #1 in the Jesse James scandal, came forward and admitted that she only involved herself with James to support her family. Now, after God-knows-how-long of supplying James with all the free curdled milk he could get from that dirty cow, she’s getting fed up with the publicity that she so willingly brought down upon herself.

Bombshell took to both her Twitter and Facebook accounts on Friday night and had plenty of wise words and gems of insight for all of you haters:

“For all you internet warriors on here talking sh!t … it’s easy to place judgement when your sitting behind a keyboard … So get off your God dam high horse, your sh!t don’t smell like roses either. Let him who is without sin cast the first stone … in other words F*%K YOU!”

Come on, now. Don’t judge the bitch. She’s only had an affair with a married man, exposed her lifelong love of anything Nazi and genocide and claimed to be part of the White Supremacy Movement. Dude, what’s there to judge?  McGee’s right … Get up on off your high horses.

She’s just like America’s Sweetheart, Sandra Bullock … just, you know, without the tattoos.