We’re all wondering what the hell went wrong in the Sheen/Mueller household and friends of Brooke may finally have answers. Postpartum depression! Classic!

A pal of Brooke’s spoke to Us Weekly:

A family friend says that Brooke’s relapse to drugs began shortly after the twins’ birth. Born severely underweight, young Max was hospitalized for weeks. “It was a really scary situation for a new mom — for any new mom — and at that point she went back to her comfort zone…she resorted to the way she handled stress in the past.”

Hey! OK! So if this story is remotely the truth, that’s pretty sad. Not just because Brooke was so torn up about her babies’ health, but because she didn’t have the tools to face the problem without relapsing. With a rich husband and plenty of family and friends around to keep her on the right track, there’s really no excuse for someone like Brooke to turn to drugs. Do I think she had postpartum depression, an actual condition that threatens lots of women, or do I think that she’s probably just a drug addict? Probably a little bit of both.

Steve Williams, Tiger Woods’ New Zeland caddie is just another person you can add to the list of people who are angry at Tiger Woods. Steve has been bombarded since news broke of Tiger’s cheating, but he was as much in the dark as the rest of us and he went on a New Zealand show called 60 Minutes to say as much:

“It’s been the most difficult time of my life, no two ways about it, because every single person believed that I should know or did know or had something to do with it,” Williams said. “I knew nothing, that’s my answer. I don’t have to clarify or extend that answer, I knew nothing.”

And he assured people that had he known, he wouldn’t have sat on the information:

“If the shoe was on someone else, I would say the same thing. It would be very difficult as a caddie not to know but I’m 100 percent telling you, I did not know, and that’s that,” he said. “I’m a straight-up sort of person. If I had known something was going on, the whistle would have been blown.”

Steve was Tiger’s caddie for over a decade. The two worked extremely close, obviously. Still, I believe Steve. Tiger has proven himself to be somewhat of an expert at deception and it’s a shame that his selfish actions are disturbing so many people’s private lives.

Okay . . . . so to review, Kendra is just as responsible for the fight as Natalie, however, the girls ditched Natalie in Santa Barbara two weeks ago. All the girls, particularly Annie, seem quite happy with the prospect that Natalie will not be returning. The girls happily pack all of Natalie’s things (one of her purses looks like MC Hammer pants reborn. Gross) and rejoice in her absence! Kate seems a little worried because for the past few weeks she has been on team Natalie, and now she is aware that all of the girls left in the house dispise her. In a video confession, Kate actually begs for Natlie to come back . . . . what in the world is going on? Kate is totally fake and, to say it bluntly, a bitch. Kate actually goes up to Annie’s crush and tells him Annie is crazy and that she (Kate) is a ‘good girl’. I can’t believe how awful and FAKE Kate is . . . She actually calls Annie fat. Not cool on two parts: Annie is not crazy and certainly not fat. Get some more extensions, Kate.

Next, the girls go paintballing. AWESOME! Annie, Amber and Lexie vs. Kate and Kendra. Who do you think won? You’re right . . . the team with more people!

Later, Kendra invites L.P. over for a late night rendezvous . . . . Ooh la la! BUT it reaches 1 a.m. and he still hasn’t arrived! Kendra isn’t my fave, but this is B.S. Annie says it perfectly: “I think a man should go out of his way to make her feel special, and I don’t think L.P. is doing that to Kendra.” Right on, Annie! Again, not only is Annie a good friend a person, but she is totally REAL and respectful :) But . . . regardless of his , Kendra still bones him . . . Although I don’t really agree with this, Kendra is lookin’ for some (physical) love and is being real about it. She’s not making the relationship with L.P. out to be something it isn’t.

(more…)

How have I not heard this story previously? Apparently The Today Show was going to a Brady Bunch reunion today, but it fell apart because Eve Plumb hates Maureen McCormick. Everyone’s reps are denying it like crazy, but here’s the email Radar got from Chris Knight’s rep:

“We only have speculation to go on, but to the best of my understanding, it falls on the aggressiveness of Today producers who are not used to getting a “No” for an answer + some major miscommunication between some reps. Eve never does Brady press, especially if Maureen is involved. This went on for decades, so she was never on board to begin with is what I understand.”

And the reason Eve hates Maureen? I CANNOT BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT THIS. While Maureen was plugging her stupid book a few years back, she said she’d had a lesbian love affair with Eve Plumb on the set. And now she’s all like “Oh, I was just joking, it was funny hahahahahaha” but back when this happened I remember very clearly that Maureen was dead serious about it and milking it for all the press in the world and it was an obvious and kind of gross and uncool tactic to use to sell a book.

My favorite part of this whole article? Something like 70% of the readers of this blog will have no idea who Maureen McCormick and Eve Plumb or Chris Knight are, and possibly think the Brady Bunch was a boy band.

PUN INTENDED.

Oh, Tyra. How I love to hate thee. Tyra is SO open-minded, you guys. She ran a contest for teenage plus-size models. Except she doesn’t call them “plus-size.” She would never do that. Because Tyra Banks has no idea how to properly hyphenate anything. She also thinks the term is unfair, because apparently the average woman in the United States is a size 14, so this is “real-sized.” (Without the hyphen, ‘natch.) She calls these teens “fiercely real.” This was the Fiercely Real Teen Modeling Competition. CATCHY.

And, I’m sorry, but weren’t we hearing just a few years back that the average woman in the U.S. was a size 12? It’s a size 14 now? And that’s the average? I’m not saying that a size 14 is a big fatty, but, like, that’s a whole hell of a lot of people who are heavier than a size 14. At what point are we going to stop pushing weight acceptance and start pushing healthy eating, portion size, and exercise? Because, like, sure, it’s all good and well to tell our children that they are just fine at any size or shape. In fact, they are just fine at the one-legged shape they’ll have when they have their leg amputated because their diet of fats and sugars has resulted in raging Type 2 diabetes that wasn’t properly treated because no one’s insured in this country. And then they can die of an obesity-related heart attack in their mid-40s. AND THAT IS JUST FINE AND BEAUTIFUL. NO PROBLEM AT ALL HERE. MOVE ALONG. TAKE A BIG MAC FOR THE ROAD.

Rant over. You may all explain in the comments why I’m an asshole and obesity in this country does not at all need to be aggressively addressed rather than babysat.

Anyway. Whatever. Of course you can’t get a whole damn show for this, because we only like to watch thin people on TV, so Tyra ran most of the contest on her website and then brought the finalists onto her talk show. The winner is Sheridan Watson, a 17-year-old teen who’s a size 14. She wins a three-year contract with Wilhemina (which the agency will promptly file in a back drawer and forget about — because, remember, a “contract” with a modeling agency doesn’t mean shit if they don’t get you work) and gets to be in Seventeen magazine, like, once.

That said, this is a very beautiful young woman who a) doesn’t even look plus-size in photos and b) will not have a career in modeling.

The #1 rule of photographing Lindsay Lohan is this: She must be smoking a cigarette. It’s in her standard contract. Honestly, Lindsay, if you’re trying to reform your party-girl image and convince the world that you’re no longer a nose-candied wastoid passed out on the late-night choo-choo train to Heath Ledgerville, stop glamorizing your cigarettes.

That said — and I know you guys will disagree — I love it when Lindsay does these photo spreads. I think she’s a fantastic model. She’s so magnetic and engaging in photos, and I’m always interested to see how she’s posed and what face she’s making and what she is (or isn’t) wearing. This is what she truly does best. (She used to be a half-decent actress back when she could stay sober for long enough to film a movie. That was a good six years ago at this point, though.)

Here’s some shots from her session with Terry Richardson for Purple.