In this edition: Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron (still together! Can you believe that shit???), a newly single Abbie Cornish, Katy Perry and Russell Brand, Jeff Bridges and wife Susan, Sandra Bullock and Jesse James, Cameron Diaz, Matthew Morrison, Taylor Lautner, Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Simpson, the Jonas Brothers, Victoria Beckham, Hilary Swank, Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer, Amy Adams, Kate Bosworth, Natalie Portman, Patricia Clarkson, Heidi Klum and Bar Rafaeli.

And we are only a fraction of a way through the total ARRIVAL pics from this event. WireImage has over 2000 arrival pics from this party alone. FML.

All’s quiet on the Hollywood front this morning, as actors and actresses and their respective publicists nurse their hangovers, and entertainment journalists are left to dissect last night’s results. Was anyone surprised by anything last night? I was kind of surprised that I thought Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were really funny. And I thought Inglorious Basterds should have taken home the screenplay award. But other than that, absolutely nothing surprised me. Oh wait. Except for that incredibly stupid dance number in the middle of the show? WTF? It’s like we were all watching America’s Best Dance Crew and someone muted the TV and started playing classical music over it. Oh and that guy in the beginning who told his wife “I love you more than rainbows.” That’s my new thing. That’s the new thing I’m going to say to people. Especially when I don’t love them at all. When I get emails from publicists that are all like, “Hi, could you please mention my Z-list client and also this poker site?” I’m going to email them back like “I love you more than rainbows, but no.”

Anyway. Now we get to the fun pictures: The parties!!! Up now: Elton John’s party, where Elton John gets to take a photo with absolutely everyone who walks in the room. And also no one’s allowed to be photographed without Elton John. The good news is that proceeds go to the AIDS Foundation. Or something. Because I can’t believe that a party like this actually makes money. Making appearances: Lance Bass, Alison Iraheta, Tinsley Mortimer, Lydia “Hearst”-Shaw, Lea Michele, Apolo Ohno, Johnny Weir, Debi Mazar, Demi Lovato, Nicole Richie, the Jonas Brothers, Kathy Griffin, Kelly Osbourne, Milla Jovovich, Jennifer Hudson, Simon Cowell and his bride-to-be, Maria Menounos, Miley Cyrus, Rachel Zoe and Lord only knows who else. Enjoy!

This post is supposed to be about giving the gents some fashion love after three articles of women’s Oscar fashion, but I’m distracted right now by the fact that Jeff Bridges just won an Oscar. I think his win may be the only time I’ve ever actually cheered out loud for one of these awards ceremonies like I was watching a sporting event.

On to the fashion crap.

Pretty much every man ever wears the same thing to the Oscars- black tuxedo with some variation of tie and shoes. There’s not a lot to see there. Robert Downey Jr. took a slight break from the standard by pairing his with sneakers, a blue bowtie and some shades. Eli Roth had smugness for an accessory that translated into some hilarious red carpet photographs, and George Clooney’s best accessory was the gorgeous brunette whom he joked couldn’t speak English.

But who really cares about all that? Jeff Bridges is a freakin Academy Award winner! Less than one minute after the win, someone has already updated his Wikipedia entry. Since I can’t do that, here are some celebratory tweets by clever people:

@Squirrellqueen : That Oscar will really tie the room together.

@thats_so_april : If Jeff Bridges doesn’t remind you of your dad just a little bit then, well, sorry about your dad.

@leolaporte : Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes you win an Oscar.

@rilaws : When Jeff Bridges opens his mouth, po’ boys and jars of beer come tumbling out.

Congrats Jeff!

I happen to adore Elizabeth Banks’ elegant grey dress (above). It should be noted, however, that the opinions expressed in this article and the two previous ones are not necessarily the opinions of Evilbeet.com. Sasha’s take on the gown? “Love Eilzabeth Banks. Haaaate her dress.”
Nicole Richie wore a beaded snuggie that showed off her back tatoos and Jennifer Lopez showed up wrapped in a mattress pad. I wonder if she and Amanda Seyfried had it out backstage; they’re pretty much wearing mirror images of the same roll of two-ply toilet paper.

Sarah Jessica Parker was there, but as usual, I can’t figure out whether she looks gorgeous and glamorous, or like a fashion victim with a hangover.

Also in this group: Tina Fey, Stana Katic, Queen Latifah, Monique, Molly Ringwald, Mariska Hargitay, Jane Seymour, and Super Classy Bitch Helen Mirren.

Things get a little dicey in this batch.

Vera Farmiga (above) may have had the worst dress of the night. The giant maroon doilies sewn together look like the fabric embodiment of this site’s namesake (an evil beet) ingested someone’s grandmother.

Zoe Saldana wasn’t faring much better. She either crawled inside one of last month’s Mardi Gras floats or got in a fight with an ostrich in a Peeps factory… and lost.

Anna Kedrick’s gown was an utterly gorgeous concoction of flowing, diaphanous pale pink, and Pussyfoot (Amanda Seyfried) was stunning in a roll of quilted Charmin.

Miley Cyrus also managed to look really pretty, but since she had the unenviable task of standing next to Seyfried while presenting, wound up looking a little unkempt by comparison.

Also in this group: Deborah Ann Woll, Demi Moore, Diane Kruger, Kathy Ireland, and Mariah Carey.

During the red carpet foolishness known as ABC’s pre-Oscars warm-up show, one of the actresses — I think it was Meryl Streep- said that she loves coming to the Oscars because she gets to see all her friends dressed up. I have to agree. I giggle a little bit every time I see Jeff Bridges in a tuxedo because it’s like seeing my stoner hippie father at a wedding.

It was a classy affair at the Oscars tonight. Charlize Theron,  Kate Winslet, and Cameron Diaz were particularly stunning (as usual) and Sandra Bullock, who has a habit of being hit or miss, was gorgeous. There weren’t many terrible dresses, just some that were underwhelming– such as Rachel McAdams’ Ellie Saab gown that kind of  looks like a bedspread from a budget motel – pastel, with a pattern designed to camouflage old cum stains.

Also in this gallery: Kristen Stewart, Sigourney Weaver, Meryl Streep, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Gabourey Sidibe, and Carey Mulligan.