Claudia Schiffer rocks that fetus-harboring body of hers as she picks up her pre-existing children in London.

The supermodel is expecting her third child with hubby Matthew Vaughn in May.

Adoption, adoption, adoption. The older I get, the less interest I have in being pregnant. I’ve taken to referring to biological children as “vagina babies,” particularly around my boyfriend, as in “I don’t ever want to have a vagina baby, and I need to make sure you’re aware of that.”

I know those episodes of 16 and Pregnant are designed to discourage young teenage girls from getting knocked up, but I watch that shit and I’m just like “OH MY GOD I WILL NOT LET THAT INFESTATION OCCUR IN MY BODY!!!” Like, I’m the kind of person who ALWAYS has to pop whiteheads because the thought of that parasitic white blood cell collection just hanging out on my property appalls me. Claudia Schiffer is like the most beautiful person on the planet and I’m still like “Ewww her stomach looks gross like that.” THANK GOD for adoption, and for women on this planet who got that gene that makes them enjoy being pregnant. Rock on, Claudia.

Renee’s pushing another man into marriage her luck with Coop.  [Betty Confidential]

Thora Birch turns 28, looks more like 58.  [Amy Grindhouse]

No, Juliette Lewis has not fallen off of the face of the earth, she’s just wrapped a new music video … Erm, ‘uh-huh’ … [Allie is Wired]

Michael Moore talks exclusively to Pop on the Pop! [Pop on the Pop]

Shanna Moakler wishes “gay babies” upon Carrie Prejean.  [Litely Salted]

My, my, how the tables have turned and the shoe is on the other foot … Brad Pitt allegedly “threatened” by Johnny Depp working with his wife. [Celebitchy]

Anyone planning on seeing the Wizard of Oz remake, if it ever comes to fruition? [Pajiba]

Remember Jason Castro from American Idol a few seasons back?  Yep, he’s still totally hot.  [Popbytes]

Simon Monjack is a disgusting specimen of the human race and should be eviscerated by rabid squirrels.  [Celebslam]

Yay! Pink peacock! When I play dress-up sometimes I like to pretend I’m a white rhinoceros.*

Jessica chose a truly fascinating dress pattern to display as she left her taping of David Letterman’s show.

The photo agency has labeled this set of pictures “Curvy Jessica waves at Letterman.”

Heh. THEY SAID IT NOT ME.

*That may be the first time in my life I’ve typed out the word “rhinoceros.” Who would have thought it was spelled with an ‘o’ at the end???**

**Yeah, seriously, there is no real follow-up joke to the white rhinoceros comment. The spelling thing was it. I’ve got nothing additional.***

***Okay okay okay. “On those days, I put on my Jessica Simpson costume.”

Mario Lopez, who I still think of as the greasy A.C. Slater from Saved by the Bell, has recently announced that he and newest girlfriend, Courtney Laine Mazza, are the proud parents to be of a new baby.

Lopez claims that the two met during production of 2008′s A Chorus Line and have been practically inseparable since. Well, except for, you know, the entire time he was dating Dancing With the Stars hottie, Karina Smirnoff. Lopez also famously married Doritos chick, Ali Landry, for a grand total of seven weeks before having the marriage annulled and taking off to Mexico or something.

So … I guess this sounds pretty serious! Congrats to the parents-to-be and a million miles worth of patience to Courtney Laine Slater Mazza!

Check out the gallery below to see who else Lopez has allegedly-seriously dated.

Well, well … For someone who presents herself to be so hoity-toity, enlightened and above it all, Gwyneth Paltrow can’t sing a note to save her life.

Paltrow was spotted out at a wrap party for her latest flick, Love Don’t Let Me Down and girlfriend sounded like she’d swallowed a bag of smashed cats.

For someone who I consider to be a sub-par actress to begin with, I hardly think this clip is for “pretend.”

I know there are probably some of you out there who’ll read this, shit all over yourselves and start with the “Gwyneth is God, Gwyneth is a fucking guru of fine living, Gwyneth bumped uglies with revered sex-beast Brad Pitt for shit’s sake” and you know what? I’ve fastened my index fingers securely into my ear canals. A tool is a tool no matter how partially chewed off the thorns are and there is nothing endearing or cute about Gwyneth Paltrow mumbling clumsily along to a song that practically anyone with a half a lung can sing.

What do you guys think?  Do you think she can sing?  You know, in that special kind of way that she thinks she can?

Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas perform in New York City.

Funny story: Before this group was a big deal, I remember asking a boyfriend “Have you ever seen the Black Eyed Peas?” He was like “Have I ever seen a black guy do what?”